Alpha

I rise and slam the door behind Ryder. Guys can be such assholes sometimes!

'Yes, they can.'

"Oh shut up! You're an asshole too!" I yell at the Voice, throwing myself onto my bed and crossing my arms over my chest, not caring if anyone comes in right now.

'Oh get over yourself, brat. I’m not going anywhere for a while. Not until you listen. I will answer every question that you have.'

"Well I kind of have to let you talk, now don't I," I say nastily, ignoring my burning curiosity. I sit up, keeping my arms crossed.

'Oh stop pouting! Pay attention! I don’t have much time!' The Voice sounds very strained.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

'Shut up! Now listen, there isn’t much time. You have been wondering for over a month who I am and where I came from and why I’m here. Well the truth is that I was born alongside you. Make no mistake, your mother only had one child physically, but I was there. I always have been here. I was the cause of every single one of your nightmares. I would go into the future and pick and choose various situations that I knew would scare you. I’ve been here all along. The little devil on your shoulder, whispering to you, influencing you, telling you what to do. True that I hid in the shadows only until recently, but there’s nothing to be done about that... Well, except in your dreams, a place where I now wield ultimate power.'

Ignoring the creepiness of the thought that a voice in my head controls my dreams, I ask, "If you’ve been here all along, why talk to me only now? And how the hell have you been in my head all this time without me realizing it?"

'I have been trying for years to talk to you, to take control of you and bend you to my will. But I’ve failed. I wasn’t strong enough. I tested it on several other vessels and fried each of them! Bur with you? Impossible! Your mind was different. I couldn’t figure out why.

'When I was in your mind as you slept, I would sit back there for hours thinking it over in every possible way. It then occurred to me that there is one key point that makes you different from all of the countless others that I tested. You are neither one creature nor are you another and yet you are two combined in one. I figured it out! For the same reason that your brother is able to touch steel when none of the rest of you can. It’s in your blood. So I simply drank it in, figuratively, of course.' I can imagine a shadowed face shining a broad sneer at me, and the image makes me shiver.

'As I said last month, I am also able to enter your brother’s mind at any given time and stay there; however, I stick with you for two particular reasons. The first is—'

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m more amusing and less brooding."

'Do not interrupt me!' she hisses. 'Yes that is true, I have spent time with your brother, and he’s just such a buzz kill. He’s more moody than you, and not in the good way. The second reason I choose you over him is our mental bond. As I stated before, it’s quite strong, perhaps even the strongest bond you will ever be able to form with anyone else in this world or the next. Now, when I say drank as I did in reference to your power, I simply mean that I would sit and absorb your essence. I meditated—I still do—all in the hopes that I will one day prevail over you in the mental battle that we wage. You see, while it may not be impossible for you to preserve your essence, it will prove to be very difficult considering that you do not know how and that I already have that special connection to you. The Bond that I have formed with your mind and body is stronger than that of you and your Pack. She says the word sarcastically, and I snarl. It goes deep into your core where I have carved a place for myself. Right now, if I chose, I could simply take over your mind like the flip of a switch, and—'

"Ta-dah!"

That isn’t me. I can't control my mouth. I can't do anything.

"Your body is remarkably comfortable, more so than one would think of a body so small. But it’s so warm! I could get used to this!"

Somehow, she has taken control of my body, shoving me to the back of my mind. I can only watch in horror as she assesses my body, getting used to the feel of it. I try to control my mouth but am unable to. 'GET. OUT!' I yell mentally, tugging her back.

"Stop that! Allow me to enjoy myself for a bit. I may be stronger than before, but I don't wield ultimate control over you waking body. Yet.

'Would you please get the hell out?' I shout again, pulling at her. My pleading voice echoes eerily around in my head.

"Nope. I think I’m going to have a bit of fun first." I watch in panic as she begins to walk towards the door and reaches her hand out to pull it open.

'Wait!' I yell, trying to get her back. 'Didn’t you say that we’re pressed for time?' My mental voice is desperate, and I pray that she’ll take pity on me and stop.

"That I did," she says in annoyance, pausing briefly. But we still have some time left. Please, allow me a bit of entertainment first."

I continue trying to get her back as she opens the door and begins walking down the hall. I yell and pull and kick to no avail! She’s simply too powerful. I give up, too tired, and watch where she’s walking.

Ryder’s room.

'Hell no! Stop it! Please! Don’t do this!'

'You better believe I’m going in there. You wasted your chance, always pushing that boy away and ignoring him. Please! He deserves some sort of reward for being so loyal. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.'

I can’t fight her—she’s too strong. I’m forced to watch as she taps softly on the door. I pray that Eyulf is in there.

"Who is it?" Ryder asks, surprisingly venomously.

"It's me, Louve. Can we talk?" My voice, not me. I'm screaming to let me have control back of my mind, I'm yelling all the profanity I know—both in English and French—but she just won't let me in.

Ryder throws the door open roughly. "What?" He asks, extremely annoyed. Eyulf isn't there. I groan in my head.

She—I—she steps forward and gently push his chest to get him into the room and so that we can join him. She keeps my hands floating on his chest as we walk until she’s able to kick the door closed behind us with my foot. All the while, the real me is still screaming in my head. "I just wanted to say how appreciative I am for all of your help through all of this...madness. And, I wanted to repay you for all of your help, too." My voice sounds so sensual I want to vomit!

But Ryder is falling for it.

Why are guys so dumb sometimes?

'Please let me back in!' I beg.

'Stop it Louve or I'll make you suffer.'

"I'm sorry." My arms wrap around his neck as she steps closer. He's more than eager to edge nearer. "I've been so strange lately. I really do feel bad about it. I mean, you've been so great and I have just been a mess." She—I—she pushes him onto the bed, hovering over him. She leans in close so that my mouth is right by his ear. "Let me make it up to you."

She nibbles his earlobe and pulls back. They look over each other before she leans in again and presses my lips to his. The kiss consumes all of us. His lips are so soft and warm and eager. His arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me closer as the kiss continues to intensify. The kiss becomes urgent, and, barely remembering to continue to try to pull the Voice back, I allow myself to become wrapped up in it.

I'm wrapped up in it.

"STOP!" I jump away from Ryder, trembling, as the Voice falls back and I'm rushed back into control of my mind. I feel unsteady and dizzy as if I'm about to fall over. Alarmed, Ryder reaches out instinctively and catches me, extremely confused.

"What the hell, Louve?" He demands in befuddlement. "What just happened?"

I shudder. "It was her." My breathing quickens. "She…she took control of my head. It was her."

"Louve, who? The voice thing?"

I can't talk. I can only nod. He becomes afraid as well, and he looks me over. "So, I was just making out with a voice in your head?" I nod again. Struggling to process this, he lets go of me and shakes his head. His voice is slow and measured when he talks again. "How?"

I comb my fingers through my hair, pushing it away from my face and thinking. "I don't know. She was talking to me and…and saying how she's trying to take over my mind...and then she did and started walking over here… She knocked on your door…you two talked, and then you started kissing. Next thing I know, I'm back in my head and screaming...with my voice."

"So...how did you get control again?" His voice is distant.

I consider for a moment and almost fall again because I don't know. How did I regain control of my head again? Did she give it back, or did I simply out power her? My head hurts.

'Yes, you overpowered me this time. My control of you was very weak by the end, and I became distracted. I would, however, like to point out how easy Ryder is to become distracted by. But I did good, huh?' The Voice sounds snide.

"Shut up! What the hell do you want from me?" Ryder looks at me like I'm insane before coming to the realization that I'm talking to her.

'He tasted good, huh? And felt good, too. His lips were so soft and his hands were so—'

"Stop it! He may have fallen for you, but that's only because he thought that you were me! He. Is. Mine!" I ignore Ryder's obvious pleasure at me so adamantly calling him mine. "Now tell me what you want."

'While this has all been good fun, we have to go,' she says nonchalantly, ignoring me.

"Go where?" I ask suspiciously.

"Go? Where are you going?" Ryder asks, concerned for my mental state.

'Shut up. You have to go to sleep. Now! There isn't much time!'

"I can't sleep right now! If you were in such a rush, you shouldn't have wasted time making out with my mate. Now I'm not going to do anything until you tell me what's going on. Not after everything that's happened."

'Fine! I'll just put you to sleep.'

"What do you—"

I'm cut off, and I begin falling to the floor as my eyes close. I fall deep into a corner of my head that's almost like a cavern. A girl stands at the entrance, looking almost exactly like me. The only difference is that she has a crown of wavy black hair versus my auburnish shade.

"Come on, there isn't much time!" she calls to me in my voice.

"Who are you?" I ask, dreading the answer.

"The tooth fairy. Who do you think I am you idiot? Now get over here." Somehow the Voice had manifested into a physical form in my mind.

She stands in the cavern next to an opening from which dim light casts shadows. The idea that all of this is happening within my head makes my skin crawl.

Hesitantly and with blatent reluctance, I make my way over to where she impatiently stands. "Come on!" she whines.

"Why are you doing this? What's so freaking important that you felt the need to take over my mind...again?"

"I'm not taking over your mind again. I'm simply showing you one last dream...for now. But we're going to miss it if you don't trust me."

I now stand next to her, having crossed the great expanse of the cavern. "How on earth do you expect me to trust you? And what will we miss?"

"Oh just go in!" Tired of waiting, she grabs my wrist and thrusts me into the entranceway to the dim room. I stumble into a room with a cold, white tile floor and gray walls. The archway from my mind is no longer an archway, it's a simple doorway. A fluorescent light flickers above, displaying the only light in the room. Against the center of the wall across from the door is a sleek wooden bed with a woman in labor lying on it. A man sits on the bed, obviously preparing to deliver.

I feel sick, as if I'm about to throw up. The woman screams in agony.

"Push!" the man commands. Why is his voice so familiar?

Dread fills my stomach.

She grits her teeth and obeys. This is obviously very important. The baby begins to emerge. The girl places a hand on my shoulder to keep me from going anywhere, sensing I was about to flee. Her face is one of a type of twisted excitement and it makes me feel further ill. I swallow down bile threatening to rise and continue to watch the scene before me as it unravels.

The woman continues to moan in pain, and the man continues to yell like a military instructor. Why are there no doctors here? Where are we? And then I realize something.

"Hey, um, Voice…person? I ask warily.

The girl barely glances at me but looks as though my voice pulled her out of a trance. "Monique," she says distantly.

"What?"

She rolls her eyes, never once glancing away from the scene before us. You can call me Monique. It's better than 'Voice.'"

"Okay, um, Monique, who are these people?"

The twisted smile begins to spread.

"Where are we?" I ask more urgently. More screaming in the background. And crying. The baby's head is out. Screaming in pain. Man yelling. Baby crying.

"Monique!" I grab her arm and twirl her around to face me. The twisted grin lays plastered on her face and I begin to feel more dread pile on, making me feel extremely light-headed. How do you get light-headed in a dream?

We continue to watch the scene. Then the baby is out, and blood and gore coats it in a thick red sheet. The woman's head falls back on the pillow as she gives out finally, exhausted. The man grabs a warm, thick black blanket and carefully wraps the baby in it, wiping the red ooze off of it—off of her.

He walks over to the girl and she eagerly reaches out to hold her newborn child. I don't know her, but there's something about him. With an evil laugh, Monique pushes me to walk around to the other side of the bed as the man begins to talk.

"I will raise you as I did your father. And there will come a day where you will avenge him. He would have been so proud to see you today, to deliver you as I have done. It is a damn shame that those mongrels killed him before he was able to see you. But do not fret dear child. I will teach you to be the champion that he has failed to be."

That voice. I don't allow my mind to accept the familiarity of that voice or the eerieness of that statement. I force myself to close the small distance between where I stood and the bedside so that I can look him. My fears are brought to life as I stare at the man who killed my parents and uncle. The man who raised the boy who killed a member of my Pack and kidnapped all of us, torturing us all in one way or another. I realize this must just be one of the rooms in Damien's manor, probably a basement based on the dreary appearance of this.

The only thing missing is his beige trench coat and the matching fedora.

"Monsieur—" the girl says hesitantly. She's terrified of him.

"What?" he asks in annoyance.

"Well, Monsieur, my dear Damien didn't want for her to live that life. Don't you want to obey his wishes and leave well enough alone?" I swear I could be back in France. Everyone has an accent like mine!

"No! Do you not want for my son to be avenged?! Do you want him to have died in vain? I am old and weak. I may not be able to perform the task. She should be raised and live the life as a warrior, a respected one at that!"

"Yes, Monsieur," she says, shivering.

"Good. Now, I will respect one of my son's wishes in light of recent events. The child will be called—"

"—Gabrielle." The woman's voice is a horrified whisper, and I just want to take her and the child away from this horrible place, save them from this murderer. Who knows who else he's killed?

"Time to go," Monique says, her mouth hovering in close proximity to my ear.

"Wait—"

"Too late!" She laughs as she grabs my arm and throws me backwards. I start to fall, not against the wall, but just fall. I can't tell in what direction, but wind and a thick grey fog rush to meet me everywhere I look. "I'll talk to you later," I hear Monique say distantly.

And then I'm back. I lay on Ryder's bed. His face is strained with concern, and he's shaking me as he tries to get me to wake up. He's saying my name over and over, his voice desperate.

"Please, Louve, wake up!" he begs, tears in his voice that aren't yet expressed on his face.

My eyes shoot open, and I gasp. My lungs feel dry, hollow, and empty.

"Louve?" He sounds grateful and relieved as he pulls me in and holds me in a tight bear-hug.

"Oh my gosh," I whisper, trying to wrap my head around what just happened.

"What? What's wrong?" he asks, pulling away slightly to look me up and down.

I look at him, wondering how the world isn't ending right this moment. "Damien had a daughter."