Alpha

I sink to the floor just outside of the living room.

Who am I kidding, they're all gonna turn against me. I've kept this whole thing a secret from them all for over a month and a half, and now it's coming back to bite me in the ass—hard. I should've at least told Lovett. His face was one of pure, utter disappointment and shame. Ryder has to be furious with me for keeping the whole barrier conversation a secret. I screwed up big time. I don't even process the feelings coming through the Bond to me.

I distantly hear the voices of my Pack mates talking about what to do about me. I hear a few chunks of sentences, but the main word thrown around is insane. I notice that Ryder has said nothing—I don't blame him. Lovett is the only one sticking up for me, for which I'm appreciative despite his uncertain tone. I know that not knowing something so significant about me must be driving my big brother crazy. Nyx and Nox stay out of the conversation, more than likely feeling that they'd be ignored due to the fact that they're so new to the Pack. Eyulf doesn't say much either, the majority of the opposition coming from Cannan and Rudi although I know that the others will throw me out on my ass and not turn back if that's what it comes down to due to the basic, unspoken law of the Pack—you don't keep secrets from your Pack. If they only knew all the others I have hidden. And I know that I’ll just accept that as my fate if that’s what it comes down to.

I don't even know what I want anymore. I just keep seeing those wide, terrified hazel eyes staring up at Damien's father. Her midnight black hair framed a face that was obviously pale with fear of him, the man who is going to make her life hell if we don't get her out of there. I can't stand the thought of just leaving her there with that man. While me saying it may be ironic, that is just inhumane.

I bite my lip, not wanting to interrupt the argument over what to do with me now. I hear that I should be thrown out for keeping this from the Pack. I hear Lovett trying to do damage control, saying how scared I must have been. And then something amazing happens.

Zeeva stands up for me.

"Look you guys," she says confidently, something she never used to be. "We've all been under a lot of stress lately—we’ve been scared for ourselves and for each other. How must Louve have felt?" Pride makes my heart swell as I imagine her standing up and looking steadily and surely at the entire Pack. "She had her hands tied. In her shoes, I would have probably stayed quiet too." I glance around the corner, and, noticing me, Zeeva quickly winks and turns her scrutiny back on our friends and Pack mates.

Rudi stands up to argue back, and Cannan rises to Zeeva's other flank, looking angry at the defense she made for me. "Zeeva," Rudi says through gritted teeth. "She knew that one of us had turned on the Pack. She knew that one of us would be killed. She knew that we would all be taken. Are you saying that after all of this you want to just forgive her? Seriously?"

"Yes, I am, Rudi. What would you have done? Would you have simply come clean to the four Pack members that you had left. Please." Zeeva turns a disbelieving look on a violently flushing Rudi. "I know that you would have kept quiet. Just like Louve."

"I wouldn't have let my 'friends' and Pack mates that she claims she was so loyal to be kidnapped just to save a few of the others."

"Rudi, it was the only way. She already explained that that thing told her that that's the way it had to be and the fact that whenever she has those dreams, that's what happens. There was no way around it."

"She could have spoken to us and figured out a way!"

"No she couldn't have because she knew that she'd get reactions like this." Zeeva gestures at Rudi.

"It's true," Ryder finally pipes in, his voice expressionless unlike the girls. He never takes his eyes off of me from where I peek at them all from around the corner. "She was scared and tried to think of something else but knew that this was the only way. That voice thing played with her mind, sometimes making her into someone that she wasn't by twisting her thoughts and making her do or say something that she wouldn't have otherwise. It actually did it to me once or twice, manipulating the both of us during an argument, and apparently my mind isn't even as strong as hers. I know from experience that that thing is strong, strong enough to make the toughest man or wolf fall to his knees and beg for it to just stop. So don't stay mad at her for something that she couldn't control. If you do, you guys are hypocrites because we all know that some of you wouldn't have even come clean after the dream that she had today. You guys would have just left that girl in the mansion and moved on with your lives. Open your eyes and look at the big picture here. And get your heads out of your asses."

Ryder walks around the couch and to the hall, grabs my arm, and drags me back into the room. Everyone stares at us, and I swallow, refusing to squirm under the gazes of my Pack mates. Their gazes ask me what I expect of them, ask how I expect to make all of this up to them.

I look at them all in the eyes, refusing to back down from the challenge in their faces. "Look," I say in an authoritative voice. "I don't expect for you guys to be accepting of any of this. I don't expect you to get it—I’m still trying to figure all of this out. But we can't just allow for this girl to be tortured and for her daughter to be raised in that kind of environment with that man." I huff and struggle to control my temper at just the thought of him. "I don't care if you guys never forgive me or just decide to kick me out. After we save this girl. Give me that. Once she is safe and far away from him and that mansion and anything else that can hurt her, decide what you want to do with me. Monique—yes, I'm using the name that she gave herself, get used to it—may be a major pain in the ass, but she is always helpful in one way or another. And she showed me that dream for a reason. She wants me to save that girl. So who's in? Who's going to help me get her back?" I don't bother mentioning that she probably wants us to save the girl just so she can potentially see us get hurt as I stare at everyone, wondering what they're going to say, terrified despite my outside shell of confidence.

"How do we get there?" Zeeva asks, looking like she desperately wants to join me but terrified that this will get us all killed.

"I paid attention to the time and path Damien's men took when they brought me to the mansion. I can get us back there"

"How do we get in?"

"We fight."

"Where's the girl?"

"I know her scent from the dream. I can find her."

Pride rushes my big brothers features and clashes with the pain that my secret has caused. "Where do we take her?" he asks quietly.

I look at him, for once not knowing how he'll react to what I say. "We're taking her home."