Alpha

Rudi insists that we go searching for the others.

I want to refuse, but I know we'll never find them. So I allow her to feel some semblance of authority and lead her and Ryder to the dirt road where Lovett and I lost the oil trail. She searches for any signs but comes up as short as we did. We search the area and walk up the road for a few miles, but it starts to get dark. Personally, I'm not too worried as I know that I'll be last, but I don't want to lose two of my people in one day. Again.

"Guys, it's starting to get dark. Maybe we should head back."

"But—I… Rudi tries.

"If you want to, we'll come back tomorrow. But do you want to be next?" I give her a look of genuine concern mixed with tough love, and she finally sighs.

"Fine, we can try again when it's light out."

The walk back is pretty quiet. The fireflies flit around, and dandelions' white seeds float along with the lazy breeze. I want to just forget about all of this. For once, I wish I didn't have the werewolf gene, that I'd turned out like my mother. Maybe I wouldn't be going through this if I was human. Maybe I'd have some normal life. Maybe I'd have gone to school rather than learn from books. What if I wasn't some horrendous creature of the night? There's a whole lot of "what ifs" but not a whole lot of answers.

'Why did I let you convince me that this was a good idea?' I ask the Voice.

'Because I'm smarter than you are, and you know it. What better explanation do you need than that?'

'I need to know exactly how things are going to play out once he has me. Because I only have one shot at this. Once I break out of that room, that's it. That's the one and only chance I get.'

'I can't tell you the exacts, stupid girl. If you ask a question, perhaps I may give something away. But I can't just tell you flat out what will happen. That would be cheating. And that's not fair.' Her voice is patronizing.

'Fine. How many guards will there be?'

'Where?' I can hear her pleasure at messing with my head, and I grit my teeth, knowing that I need her.

'Outside of each room.'

'Outside of yours, two. Outside of most rooms, none.'

'Who else will have guards and how many?'

'Your brother and Ryder will have two each. Susanne will have one.'

'Who will die?'

The Voice becomes even more torturous and teasing. 'Now I can't tell you that. That would really be cheating. And it would be no fun for me! I want to see how you fare with the information at hand. I've been more than generous, I think.'

The Voice leaves me alone after that and I realize that we're almost home. Once we get inside, Rudi drifts off to be alone, and I lead Ryder into my room, closing the door behind him.

"Okay, we need to plan this out. Because we are getting down to the wire and I have a feeling you'll be second to last."

"I was thinking that too." Ryder looks around, avoiding my eyes. I can tell he still feels awkward about the tub incident. "We have to figure out a game plan."

"Okay, so..." I consider how to word my thoughts for Ryder so that he doesn't panic. "This all has to go down without a hitch. Whether I get one or two nights doesn’t matter—once Damien figures out what’s going on, that’s it. No one can stop to try to be macho or tough and take him down. We only have one shot.

"Now, I’m thinking that when twilight hits, I’ll let everyone know to wait for my signal. Once I howl, you guys will copy me—that'll be the signal. You, Lovett, and I will all have guards, but he won't know that. I'd like to have more guards in the hall to begin with, but we'll work with what we have."

"Why would you want more?" He looks at me with pure confusion.

"Because the more there are, the less time we'll have to wait," I explain patiently. "Now, Susanne will have a guard too, but only one versus our two. If we all howl at the same time with no breaks—and I’m just going out on a limb here—maybe we can piss off the guards enough that they abandon their posts and start coming for us. I have a feeling that if we all start making a lot of noise, Damien will command them to shut is up anyway. If we can get them all to where we are, that’ll be perfect, especially if they come into our rooms.

"If they come into our rooms, that’s where it’ll get tricky. We have to somehow avoid getting shot while attacking them and sneaking out through the open door. If one of them closes the door, whoever’s in that room will be screwed. I’ll try to keep one of my guards alive and conscious, and get him to open the other doors, but as a wolf, that’ll be especially difficult. I’m not all powerful here.

"If all of that goes up without a hitch, we’ll have to figure out how to get out while avoiding the guards and Damien. If one of us gets trapped or stuck in the house, as much as I hate it, we have to leave them behind and come back later with a more solid plan. That means me or Susanne or Eyulf—anyone."

"Louve—"

"No Ryder. We can’t have any convictions going into this. None. Got it?"

"But—"

"No. I give him a hard look. I’m sorry. If I get stuck and you aren’t, lead the Pack out. You’re the only one who’ll know what’s going on. I need you to promise me that you will get everyone out of there. He still looks reluctant. Promise me, Ryder."

He sighs with attitude and crosses his arms. "Fine, I promise."

"Thank you. Now, it’ll probably be best if we can do all of this before the night is over, but we have to make it seem somewhat random. I’ll wait about an hour or two before I give the signal so that it's less suspicious—at least slightly. Once we're out, we're out, and we have to make a run for it—immediately. No ifs, ors, or buts. That is it."

"Alright. Not the most solid of plans, but we can try to get it done."

"I know, we're leaving a lot to chance here. There are more 'ifs' than I would prefer, but it's the best we can do, and the only thing that will ensure at least some positive results. If you have anything to add, please feel free."

"I've got nothing." He sighs. "Let's hope chance is on our side."

I look out the window. "I feel awful," I murmur, thinking aloud.

"I know. I was just about to ask why."

I sigh and throw my arms in the air. "Well, I'm putting everyone's life on the line. I mean, I know for a fact that one of us is going to die, but not knowing who is driving me crazy! And…" I bite my lip and look at him. "Ryder, would I be an awful person if I actually saw Zeeva being kidnapped and I didn't do anything?"

Ryder is silent for a moment and looks at me like I'm speaking my native French tongue. Finally, he swallows and asks, "What happened?"

"Oh, God. You think I'm an awful person now. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, I didn't say that. I just want to know what happened."

I avert my eyes. "Okay, well...I was walking, and...I heard voices. So, here I am, following the sound, and I come across that Damien guy, and he has his hands on Zeeva. He wasn't hurting her, per se, but she was uncomfortable." I exhale with frustration and run my fingers through my hair, beginning to pace. "The worst part is that I just stood there and watched and didn't do anything. That makes me feel sick." I look up at him, tearing up. "How could I do something like that?"

"You had to do what you saw fit." For once, Ryder's emotions are too jumbled for even me to read, and I always know how he feels. I can't get a good read on him, and that actually scares me.

"Ryder…" I say tentatively.

He abruptly stands. "I'll talk to you later," he mumbles curtly. "See you later."

Ryder turns and leaves, abandoning me to waste away in the confusion and grief that the day's events have left me in as the little Voice cackles in the background.