The Flavor of Your Lips is Enough to Keep Me Here

I opened the door, and it was the smell that really got me. Jack was sleeping in his bed, the covers all sprawled around him like he'd been tossing and turning. There were clothes everywhere, even though Jack still had the same shirt on that I'd seen him in last. There were maybe two dozen empty and half full bottles of everything from vodka to whiskey. There was a trashcan next to the bed, which I could only assume was for him to puke in.
I was disgusted, but I was also sad. I had done this to him. He was a wreck, and it was all my fault. I stood there, in the threshold of the room for a few minutes, just staring and taking it all in. He must have really loved me, I thought. No one who didn't love someone would react like this.
"He's been like this the whole time?" I asked Rian quietly.
He nodded solemnly. "At first, he just sort of sat around and wouldn't talk. Then, about a week ago he came home with bottles and bottles of liquor. He hasn't come out of his room since; he wouldn't even let me in to talk to him." Rian said.
I felt tears falling down my face. I walked over to his bed, ignoring the smell that got stronger and stronger as I moved closer to him. I sat on the bed and just stared at him. Jack mumbled something in his sleep, and then turned over. I looked up, and both Rian and Alex were still standing in the doorway, looking down at Jack somberly.
"You want us to leave you guys alone?" Alex asked.
I simply nodded, and they closed the door. There was a dimly light bedside lamp, which cast weird shadows all over the room.
I sat there for what felt like forever. Finally, I heard Jack groan and sit up. I didn't say anything, I just watched him. He picked up a bottle of vodka from the floor and proceeded to raise it up to his lips. It was painful to watch. I reached over him, and snatched the bottle from his hands.
"What the fuck?" he said, his voice hoarse and scratchy.
He quickly turned around, and his face dropped when he finally made eye contact with me.
"Hi Jack" I said, trying desperately to smile.
He looked at me for a long time, his eyes never leaving mine. It was almost, uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, Jack quickly lunged at me. He pulled me into the tightest hug I've ever been in. I could hear how shaky his breath was, almost like he was crying. I hugged him back, quietly shushing him like he was a child.
"I-I-I'm so sorry Christa. Everything that's happened is my fault. Please give me another chance. Please Christa, I love you" he said through broken sobs.
"No, it's my fault. I'm so sorry I put you through this Jack. I just, wasn't thinking. I....I love you to" I said, almost whispering the last part.
He looked up at me, his tear stained face looked mystified, like he couldn't believe that this was really happening. I saw a tear fall down his face. I couldn't help myself. I grabbed his face and kissed him hard. I wanted to kiss all of his pain away, all of his suffering.
I felt him smile against my lips, and pulled away. He fell back down on the bed, breathing a sigh of relief. I laid next to him, and he pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. We stayed like that for a really long time, until Jack decided to get up.
He walked around the bed in nothing but his boxers, grabbing a pair of pants and slipping them on. He walked towards the door, and I got up and followed him.
When he stepped outside into the living room, I saw both Rian and Alex were sitting there. Jack stopped dead in his tracks.
"What is Alex doing here?" he hissed.
Rian looked confused, and Alex just looked scared.
"Jack, Rian called me worried about you. He told me you were a mess, so I went and told Christa" Alex said.
Jack looked pissed. "I want you to stay away from her, you hear me? I'll fuck you up again, got it?" Jack said through his teeth.
Rian looked back and forth between Jack and Alex.
"Wait, Jack, what happened between Alex and Christa? You're the one that beat Alex up?" he said, sounding surprised.
I was about to tell Rian, but Jack put his hand gently on my shoulder. "No, Alex, why don't you tell Rian what you did?" Jack said.
Alex sighed, and whispered in Rian's ear. Rian looked shocked when Alex pulled away.
"Dude, that's fucking sick. What is wrong with you?" Rian said.
"I-I don't know what came over me. I already told Christa I was sorry" he said.
"That doesn't fucking make it okay" Jack and Rian said at the same time.
I sighed. This was going to tear the band apart. I knew I shouldn't have told Jack. I should have kept it to myself. I could deal with it.
"Alex, it's okay, I forgive you" I said. I didn't really forgive him, I just didn't want the band to argue over this, over me.
Rian cut his eyes at Alex, and Jack did the same.
"We'll never be the same. I'll talk to you, but I never want to be friends with you, ever" Jack said.
Alex looked hurt, but could you really blame Jack?
I stood there silently as they all looked at each other. The silence was uncomfortable.
"So, when's tour?" I asked, trying to make conversation.
"Three days" Rian replied.
Jack's face looked grim. It was like he'd finally realized how long he'd been in his depression. I squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked down at me and smiled. Now all I had to do was prepare myself for when he left.