The Flavor of Your Lips is Enough to Keep Me Here
When It All Comes Down To A Sunrise On The East Side, Will You Be There To Carry Home The Remains Of
I woke up the next morning with the same heavy feeling in my chest. I checked my phone, and saw that Jack had texted me. I opened it.
"Hey beautiful, you seemed really upset last night, are you okay?" it read.
I put the phone back on my bedside table. I didn't know if I was okay. I liked Jack, a lot. But he was leaving already. I knew it wasn't his fault, I mean, he can't stay home all the time. His band has fans that they have to please as well. But I didn't know if I could deal with him coming home for sort periods of time and then leaving. If two weeks felt like eternity, then I could only imagine how long two months, even longer would be like.
I heard a knock on my door. I knew it was Jack. He was probably worried because I didn't answer his text. I tried to wipe the sad expression off my face. I opened the door.
"Hey you" I said, trying my best to smile.
Apparently it didn't work, because when Jacks eyes met mine, his face fell.
"You know, if you're upset you don't have to pretend. I can see the sadness in your eyes" he said.
Now I felt bad. I didn't want him to feel bad about leaving for tour. The only thing I could think to do was hug him, so that's what I did. He wrapped his arms around me and we just stood there in the doorway, hugging.
After a few minutes I pulled away, and grabbed his hand, pulling him into my apartment. He smiled as I closed the door. We sat down on the couch, and he flipped on the T.V. I sat down next to him, curling myself up to him. He put his arm around me, and we just laid there for a while, watching dumb shows. I could stay like that forever.
When the show was over, Jack looked down at me.
"So, are you still sad about me leaving?" he asked quietly, playing with my hair.
"Well, obviously" I said. I meant to say it jokingly, but when it came out, it made me sound like a bitch. His hand dropped from my hair. Great, I'd made him sad. I looked up at him, but instead of sadness, there was anger on his face. He gently moved me farther away from him so he could get up.
"Well, it's not my fault I have to leave, Christa" he said shortly.
I stood up. "Jack, I didn't mean it like that" I said, trying to explain myself.
For a few moments, Jack didn't say anything. "Look, you think I want to leave? I really like you Christa, and then I come here, and you're looking at me with these sad puppy eyes, making me feel like shit. It's really selfish" he said, raising his voice.
"Selfish? Sorry that I have feelings and emotions and I don't want you to go on a stupid tour and be away from me for months" I yelled back.
"My tours aren't stupid! My fans mean more to me than anything!" he said.
I was pissed now. I was joking, and I didn't understand why he was being such an asshole about it.
"Fine, then you can leave and go hang out with your fans" I said.
He stopped for a second, and then stormed out the door. It took me a few minutes to register what happened, but when it did, I sat down on my couch and bawled. I was so stupid. I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I just laid there, crying.
I guess I'd fallen asleep, because I woke up to knocking at my door. Thinking it was Jack, I sprang up, fixing my hair on the way to the door.
"Jack I'm so--" I cut myself off. It wasn't Jack at the door, but it was Alex. He had a bottle of liquor in his hand.
"Hi Christa. Jack texted me, and he seemed pretty upset. I came over to see if you were okay, and to maybe get your mind off things" he said, smiling.
I invited him in, suprised. I didn't really even know him, but it was really cool that he was being so nice. I sat down on the couch, and he came in a few moments later with two glasses of liquor. He handed one to me.
"Now, tell me what happened" he said.
I told him the whole story in between sips. I was tiny, and by the time the glass was gone and my story was over, I felt pretty buzzed.
"You know Christa," Alex said when I was done with my story. "You're a really great girl, and if Jack's going to act like that, then he doesn't deserve you."
I was surprised, Jack and Alex we're supposed to be best friends.
"Alex, what are you getting at?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.
"I'm just saying, I'd never freak out on you like that" he replied.
"Alex, I like Jack, and you have a girlfriend." I said, scooting further from him.
He moved closer to me. "Christa come on, no one knows, no one gets hurt" he said. He leaned in towards me, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I pushed his face away.
All of a sudden, he jumped on top of me, pinning me down with his body.
"Come on Christa, I know you like me" he said, leaning down and forcing his tongue down my throat.
I pushed him off of me, and screamed, reaching for my cell phone. Alex pryed it from my hands and threw it across the room. I kept screaming, hoping my neighbors would hear. But before I could get much of a noise out, Alex put a pillow over my face.
I couldn't breathe. I struggled against him, but I could feel myself slipping out of cosciousness. All I could feel was my pants being ripped off, all while the pillow was still over my face.
"Hey beautiful, you seemed really upset last night, are you okay?" it read.
I put the phone back on my bedside table. I didn't know if I was okay. I liked Jack, a lot. But he was leaving already. I knew it wasn't his fault, I mean, he can't stay home all the time. His band has fans that they have to please as well. But I didn't know if I could deal with him coming home for sort periods of time and then leaving. If two weeks felt like eternity, then I could only imagine how long two months, even longer would be like.
I heard a knock on my door. I knew it was Jack. He was probably worried because I didn't answer his text. I tried to wipe the sad expression off my face. I opened the door.
"Hey you" I said, trying my best to smile.
Apparently it didn't work, because when Jacks eyes met mine, his face fell.
"You know, if you're upset you don't have to pretend. I can see the sadness in your eyes" he said.
Now I felt bad. I didn't want him to feel bad about leaving for tour. The only thing I could think to do was hug him, so that's what I did. He wrapped his arms around me and we just stood there in the doorway, hugging.
After a few minutes I pulled away, and grabbed his hand, pulling him into my apartment. He smiled as I closed the door. We sat down on the couch, and he flipped on the T.V. I sat down next to him, curling myself up to him. He put his arm around me, and we just laid there for a while, watching dumb shows. I could stay like that forever.
When the show was over, Jack looked down at me.
"So, are you still sad about me leaving?" he asked quietly, playing with my hair.
"Well, obviously" I said. I meant to say it jokingly, but when it came out, it made me sound like a bitch. His hand dropped from my hair. Great, I'd made him sad. I looked up at him, but instead of sadness, there was anger on his face. He gently moved me farther away from him so he could get up.
"Well, it's not my fault I have to leave, Christa" he said shortly.
I stood up. "Jack, I didn't mean it like that" I said, trying to explain myself.
For a few moments, Jack didn't say anything. "Look, you think I want to leave? I really like you Christa, and then I come here, and you're looking at me with these sad puppy eyes, making me feel like shit. It's really selfish" he said, raising his voice.
"Selfish? Sorry that I have feelings and emotions and I don't want you to go on a stupid tour and be away from me for months" I yelled back.
"My tours aren't stupid! My fans mean more to me than anything!" he said.
I was pissed now. I was joking, and I didn't understand why he was being such an asshole about it.
"Fine, then you can leave and go hang out with your fans" I said.
He stopped for a second, and then stormed out the door. It took me a few minutes to register what happened, but when it did, I sat down on my couch and bawled. I was so stupid. I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I just laid there, crying.
I guess I'd fallen asleep, because I woke up to knocking at my door. Thinking it was Jack, I sprang up, fixing my hair on the way to the door.
"Jack I'm so--" I cut myself off. It wasn't Jack at the door, but it was Alex. He had a bottle of liquor in his hand.
"Hi Christa. Jack texted me, and he seemed pretty upset. I came over to see if you were okay, and to maybe get your mind off things" he said, smiling.
I invited him in, suprised. I didn't really even know him, but it was really cool that he was being so nice. I sat down on the couch, and he came in a few moments later with two glasses of liquor. He handed one to me.
"Now, tell me what happened" he said.
I told him the whole story in between sips. I was tiny, and by the time the glass was gone and my story was over, I felt pretty buzzed.
"You know Christa," Alex said when I was done with my story. "You're a really great girl, and if Jack's going to act like that, then he doesn't deserve you."
I was surprised, Jack and Alex we're supposed to be best friends.
"Alex, what are you getting at?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.
"I'm just saying, I'd never freak out on you like that" he replied.
"Alex, I like Jack, and you have a girlfriend." I said, scooting further from him.
He moved closer to me. "Christa come on, no one knows, no one gets hurt" he said. He leaned in towards me, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I pushed his face away.
All of a sudden, he jumped on top of me, pinning me down with his body.
"Come on Christa, I know you like me" he said, leaning down and forcing his tongue down my throat.
I pushed him off of me, and screamed, reaching for my cell phone. Alex pryed it from my hands and threw it across the room. I kept screaming, hoping my neighbors would hear. But before I could get much of a noise out, Alex put a pillow over my face.
I couldn't breathe. I struggled against him, but I could feel myself slipping out of cosciousness. All I could feel was my pants being ripped off, all while the pillow was still over my face.