Heartbeat
Strong
I gave up after the sixteenth call to Nevaeh that she ignored.
I sat there, pathetically dialing and re-dialing her number, having her reject the call every time. I knew she was furious, and I couldn't blame her. I lied. I didn't know why I did it and I regretted it, but I did and now I had to face the consequences. I slowly dialed in Nevaeh's number again, and as every other time she rejected the call, forcing it straight to voice mail.
"Nev, I'm sorry. I fucked up, I know I did... I shouldn't have lied to you, I just didn't know what to do. Please call me back so I can explain," I sighed, pausing for a moment. “I won’t bother you anymore if you don’t want me to, but if anything else happens I’ll call you. You... you don’t have to answer but from now on I’ll be honest with you Nev. I’m so sorry.”
I hung up the phone and slid it into my pocket. She wouldn't call me back.
And I deserved it.
---
The next time Niall showed up, I was prepared. He’d called me an hour before, presumably to make sure Nevaeh wasn't there like she was last time. I called her to tell her I was going to see him again, but she didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. I tried to justify myself by saying that I was trying, but I knew it just wasn't good enough.
I watched out the window as Niall's car pulled into my driveway, my blood boiling. I was mad at him now more than before. He not only hurt Nevaeh, but he’d hurt my relationship with Nevaeh by not wanting to talk to her himself. I had every intention to tell him how I felt, too.
My hands were clenched into fists at my sides as Niall let himself into my house, not knocking or ringing the doorbell as usual. He looked at me wordlessly, and I looked back at him.
I think he could tell then that I was mad. At our earlier encounters, I’d been confused, but not angry. He could tell now that he might not have me to do his dirty work, and I saw the realization cross his face. “Harry...” he started, but I cut him off.
“You’re a complete coward.”
“What?”
“You’re a coward, Niall. The girl you promised everything is crying every night and you can’t even give her an explanation. You promised you’d be with her forever, and now you’re not even going to tell her why you won’t? You’re trying to make me do it. You’re a coward.” I spat, growing closer and closer to Niall with each word.
“I’m asking you to do it because I know you care about her as much as I do.” Niall said. His words hung in the air a moment, and I swallowed hard. He knew how I really felt about her.
“Well it doesn't matter anymore, because she won’t talk to me.”
Niall furrowed his eyebrows, and looked genuinely upset. “Why?”
“Because of you! Because I promised her that I’d tell her if you contacted me. I lied to her for you with no explanation. She hates me now because of you.” I turned my back on Niall, walking away a few steps and hoping he’d just leave. He’d done enough damage.
“If you knew why I was doing this, you’d understand...” Niall mumbled, just loud enough for me to catch. I don’t even know if he intended for to hear it.
I spun around, seething at this point. He’d destroyed my relationship with the girl I was in love with and one of my best friends with no explanation, no reason that I should be protecting him. “Then why are you doing it Niall?! Because I really want to know why you would hurt the people that care about you the most.”
He recoiled like I’d hit him, his eyes slowly averting to the ground. “I can’t tell you...”
“Then leave!” I roared, advancing on him again. “If you can’t explain it to me, then get the fuck out!”
He pushed me away, and I grabbed him, slamming his back into my wall. I held him there and looked him dead in the eyes. All I was feeling was anger, but all I was getting from him was sadness. “Do you really want to know?”
“Yes!”
“I’m dying Harry. I’m dying.”
I sat there, pathetically dialing and re-dialing her number, having her reject the call every time. I knew she was furious, and I couldn't blame her. I lied. I didn't know why I did it and I regretted it, but I did and now I had to face the consequences. I slowly dialed in Nevaeh's number again, and as every other time she rejected the call, forcing it straight to voice mail.
"Nev, I'm sorry. I fucked up, I know I did... I shouldn't have lied to you, I just didn't know what to do. Please call me back so I can explain," I sighed, pausing for a moment. “I won’t bother you anymore if you don’t want me to, but if anything else happens I’ll call you. You... you don’t have to answer but from now on I’ll be honest with you Nev. I’m so sorry.”
I hung up the phone and slid it into my pocket. She wouldn't call me back.
And I deserved it.
---
The next time Niall showed up, I was prepared. He’d called me an hour before, presumably to make sure Nevaeh wasn't there like she was last time. I called her to tell her I was going to see him again, but she didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. I tried to justify myself by saying that I was trying, but I knew it just wasn't good enough.
I watched out the window as Niall's car pulled into my driveway, my blood boiling. I was mad at him now more than before. He not only hurt Nevaeh, but he’d hurt my relationship with Nevaeh by not wanting to talk to her himself. I had every intention to tell him how I felt, too.
My hands were clenched into fists at my sides as Niall let himself into my house, not knocking or ringing the doorbell as usual. He looked at me wordlessly, and I looked back at him.
I think he could tell then that I was mad. At our earlier encounters, I’d been confused, but not angry. He could tell now that he might not have me to do his dirty work, and I saw the realization cross his face. “Harry...” he started, but I cut him off.
“You’re a complete coward.”
“What?”
“You’re a coward, Niall. The girl you promised everything is crying every night and you can’t even give her an explanation. You promised you’d be with her forever, and now you’re not even going to tell her why you won’t? You’re trying to make me do it. You’re a coward.” I spat, growing closer and closer to Niall with each word.
“I’m asking you to do it because I know you care about her as much as I do.” Niall said. His words hung in the air a moment, and I swallowed hard. He knew how I really felt about her.
“Well it doesn't matter anymore, because she won’t talk to me.”
Niall furrowed his eyebrows, and looked genuinely upset. “Why?”
“Because of you! Because I promised her that I’d tell her if you contacted me. I lied to her for you with no explanation. She hates me now because of you.” I turned my back on Niall, walking away a few steps and hoping he’d just leave. He’d done enough damage.
“If you knew why I was doing this, you’d understand...” Niall mumbled, just loud enough for me to catch. I don’t even know if he intended for to hear it.
I spun around, seething at this point. He’d destroyed my relationship with the girl I was in love with and one of my best friends with no explanation, no reason that I should be protecting him. “Then why are you doing it Niall?! Because I really want to know why you would hurt the people that care about you the most.”
He recoiled like I’d hit him, his eyes slowly averting to the ground. “I can’t tell you...”
“Then leave!” I roared, advancing on him again. “If you can’t explain it to me, then get the fuck out!”
He pushed me away, and I grabbed him, slamming his back into my wall. I held him there and looked him dead in the eyes. All I was feeling was anger, but all I was getting from him was sadness. “Do you really want to know?”
“Yes!”
“I’m dying Harry. I’m dying.”
♠ ♠ ♠
I know I haven't updated this in like, ten months... but I got a sudden burst of inspiration and felt like I should.Tell me what you think.