Status: Just starting. It may take a bit but please read it
Snowfall
Pointless
I can't say I like Car anymore because of this incident but I don'tmind being this closeto him at the moment. The amount of body heat is giving offis not substantial but paired with the warmth of our blanket is enough to make me drowsy. I desperately want to sleep. I am slumped against the wall and Car's side. I think he has fallen asleep while eating. I am too tired to react. I'm not fully asleep when the wake up call informs us that it is currently six in the morning.
So much for sleep, I guess. I nudge Car and straighten up. Rummaging through my backpack quickly, I realize that due to its military style, all of my belongings are mostly dry. And I have my phone charger. Looking at Matt's bag, I probably can't say the same for their things. I plug my phone in and turn it on. With the ten minutes of charging time, I read the six messages from my mom. They are angry and threatening but I know she is worried. I don't know what to say so I don't respond. I put away the charger and stuff the phone in pocket. I'm still soaked.
Everyone is getting up. I am in a daze. This is a homeless shelter. I have a home. Sort of. I was spending a lot of time away from it though.
I am recruited to help wake a knocked out Matt, who is not responding to the staff yelling. I am not surprised. After many failed methods, I resort to pouring cold water on his face. While I feel awful for it, it works. 'Poor kid,' I think. But I am dissociated because I'm so tired. DoI really care for this person outside of the realm of him being human and vulnerable? As I watch him groggily wipe his eyes and complain loudly, I have no answer and this concerns me.
The rest of the day was confusing. Westayed in the sun until our clothes dried and I treated the two to Payless for socks and shoes as well as a Qdoba for lunch. I didn't eat much and my medication kept me in a haze all day long. I had money and I didn't mind spending it on friends or those who needed it. This wasn't a new characteristic for me but when I cashed a check for six hundred dollars and lent it to Matt, I started thinking more clearly. I shoyld have taken it back immediately. Or not done it. Because Car took advantage of Matt's childlike mind. They left me stranded, alone, two hours from home in the middle of the night.
I couldn't take it. I broke down completely. The cops found me freezing, catatonic and crying in the streets of Fall's Church.
I guess I'm lucky I look so young and helpless. One of the officers calls a taxi and asks me for my mom's number. Reluctantly I give it to him. He is being kind anddoing me a favor so I'm quiet and obediant but the tears haven't stopped. I'm ashamed at myself for crying and I honestly do just want to go home.
I don't remember the ride home or what it costs. I don't remember arriving on my parents' doorstep in the midst of a panic attack, or what came out of my mouth. My mom later tells me that at that exact moment, what she saw was her terrified three year-old daughter.
So much for sleep, I guess. I nudge Car and straighten up. Rummaging through my backpack quickly, I realize that due to its military style, all of my belongings are mostly dry. And I have my phone charger. Looking at Matt's bag, I probably can't say the same for their things. I plug my phone in and turn it on. With the ten minutes of charging time, I read the six messages from my mom. They are angry and threatening but I know she is worried. I don't know what to say so I don't respond. I put away the charger and stuff the phone in pocket. I'm still soaked.
Everyone is getting up. I am in a daze. This is a homeless shelter. I have a home. Sort of. I was spending a lot of time away from it though.
I am recruited to help wake a knocked out Matt, who is not responding to the staff yelling. I am not surprised. After many failed methods, I resort to pouring cold water on his face. While I feel awful for it, it works. 'Poor kid,' I think. But I am dissociated because I'm so tired. DoI really care for this person outside of the realm of him being human and vulnerable? As I watch him groggily wipe his eyes and complain loudly, I have no answer and this concerns me.
The rest of the day was confusing. Westayed in the sun until our clothes dried and I treated the two to Payless for socks and shoes as well as a Qdoba for lunch. I didn't eat much and my medication kept me in a haze all day long. I had money and I didn't mind spending it on friends or those who needed it. This wasn't a new characteristic for me but when I cashed a check for six hundred dollars and lent it to Matt, I started thinking more clearly. I shoyld have taken it back immediately. Or not done it. Because Car took advantage of Matt's childlike mind. They left me stranded, alone, two hours from home in the middle of the night.
I couldn't take it. I broke down completely. The cops found me freezing, catatonic and crying in the streets of Fall's Church.
I guess I'm lucky I look so young and helpless. One of the officers calls a taxi and asks me for my mom's number. Reluctantly I give it to him. He is being kind anddoing me a favor so I'm quiet and obediant but the tears haven't stopped. I'm ashamed at myself for crying and I honestly do just want to go home.
I don't remember the ride home or what it costs. I don't remember arriving on my parents' doorstep in the midst of a panic attack, or what came out of my mouth. My mom later tells me that at that exact moment, what she saw was her terrified three year-old daughter.