Here With Me

March 12th, Tuesday

The weekend had passed by and I had stayed in that bed. The week had started and I didn't go to work. And during this time, Hudson and I didn't speak. I didn't know where he went. All I felt was the emptiness in my heart, and this feeling scared me.

I felt that there was no longer a life for me. That I had given it all to Hudson and what I had left, I had killed with my faithlessness. I didn't know what to do anymore, but mourn. Had I lost everything? Everything meaning my future, which is Hudson. My life which is him. I wish I could turn back time and bring morality into my thoughts that night. Then I would still have him; my life, my future.

Still cradling the pillow next to me, my eyes were closed but I wasn't asleep. I hadn't eaten or drank anything, so I was left completely drained and too weak to even bother to check the time. I had thought it was only in my mind, maybe me hearing things, that I heard the front door open.

Footsteps had come into the room that was silent. I struggled to swallow and clear my throat, so I ended up speaking in a raspy and small voice. "Hudson?" It came out in a pathetic whisper.

"No, it's me Amelia. Why was your door unlocked?" She sounded cavalier, like on the phone the other day.

I opened my eyes and looked up at her, turning my head slightly. "What time is it?"

"It's 9 o'clock, in the evening." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Have you been in bed all day?"

"Weekend." I sighed, closing my eyes again.

"Well get up, have you checked your glucose meter at all?" She opened the drawer in the side table, taking out the meter and prepping it for me. I struggled to sit up, but managed to anyway.

She took my hand and pricked my finger, taking a drop of blood and waiting for the meter to read it. She sighed and put it down on the table, "Where's your insulin, you need it, your blood sugar is too high."

"Right here." I replied, reaching into the same drawer, taking out a box, taking the ready needle from it. She took it from me, "I'll do it." She took wipe from the box and tore the package, using the wipe to clean the area on my arm. She pinched my skin and then quickly poked the needle into me, making me wince.

"That was a little hard." I murmured.

"Sorry." She spoke. After she was done, she put the cap back on the needle and put it on the table.

I furrowed my brow and looked at her. "Amelia, why are you here?"

She looked down at me, "Jules told me you and Hudson had a little fight, and that he was staying over there. Thought that I should check on you."

I watched her for a moment. "Did he tell you anything else?"

She slowly shook her head, "Nope. But I'm pretty sure I know what your fight was about."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I watched you leave Christian's apartment that morning. Where were you hiding when I came to his place? You know, when I was frantic and almost in tears because I didn't know where you were. I didn't think you had it in you."

My expression dropped and I closed my eyes, "Amelia, it was mistake. I shouldn't have done it."

"Ah, so you did? You slept with the guy you very well know that I have feelings for. That I could possibly be in love with." She smirked, "Well done, Avery. Well done. You know, I thought we were friends. I thought that we told each other everything."

I didn't say anything.

"Amelia, I'm sorry."

"Are you? Or, did you do this because you didn't want anyone else to have him?" She glared at me.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh come on. Seriously? You're gonna make this about you? Amelia, this had absolutely nothing to do with you. This was a terrible decision that he and I made. If it makes you happy, Hudson isn't talking to me."

"You go ahead and play the victim Avery, but you betrayed my trust in you. You were the girl he liked all along, weren't you?"

I stared at her.

She smirked and let out a laugh, "And you even lied to me about it. I can't believe you Avery, I cannot believe you." She shook her head.

Again I rolled my eyes, I had enough. "You know what Amelia? I told you this had nothing to do with you and yet you keep going on and on about it like it is. And you know what else? Christian told you he wasn't interested, and yet you kept going after him trying to make him like you. And you go on and on about how you're jealous of me being married and you want that too, but honestly Amelia, you're not in anyway mature enough for it. You can't even stay committed. You are so selfish when it comes to love, you take and take and take. You never give. And that's also a reflection on your friendships, especially with me. All throughout high school it was all about Amelia and Amelia's drama and Amelia's social life. You're worse than a soap opera. So stop trying to make this about you, because it isn't. It's actually none of your business."

"How dare you." She gritted her teeth. It was as if she didn't hear a thing I said. "It was you that was jealous of me in high school. I was popular and I came from a wealthy family and I wore designer clothing and even had my own car. You were just a girl from a working class family that I was friends with."

"Oh, burn. Makes remarks about my family. Like I haven't heard those before. Grow up Amelia!"

"You know what? I hope your marriage falls apart. You deserve it, you slut."

"And this is coming from someone who can't even make a "relationship" last more than a week." I glared at her.

"Oh shut up Avery, at least I have a social life. You've only date two guys and screwed three."

"Get out! Get out of my home. You are not welcome here." I shouted, pointing toward the door.

She stared at me. "You should probably take those old polaroids and photo booth pictures of us down." I looked at my vanity mirror that was framed with several pictures. She turned and left the bedroom and I waited to hear the front door shut. After a loud slam, I sat back down on the bed.

So this is it. This is how it ends. She let a man come between us.

I stood up again and walked toward the mirror, slowly taking down each picture of us since high school till now. Oh how we've changed. Me with my black hair and lip piercing, Amelia with her dark copper hair and red lipped grin. I can't believe it. This was all over. I mean, I know I said all those things, and they were true, but friends fight. And make up. But she just left.

That sick feeling overwhelmed me again as I went and crawled back into bed. Why does this keep happening?