Here With Me

February 5th, Monday. 10:00am

Okay, relax. You haven't seen him in awhile, but that's okay. We both needed distance...hopefully things aren't weird between us-"

The elevator doors opened and I walked out, as I turned the corner I was greeted by the receptionist. "Hi Avery! Welcome back."

"Hey Jen, thanks." I politely smiled, continuing to walk down the hall.

Okay, just breathe, maybe he didn't come to work today. It's been a month, things should have cooled down by now. But if he's here, what do I do? 'Hey Christian, how's it going?' no... 'What's up Christian?'...no! Why am I freaking out so much? I think I'm hyperventilating, I'm getting lightheaded, I should've called in sick, what do I-

"Hey Avery." He spoke, startling me as I walked into our office.

"Hey Christian." I squeaked.

He slightly smiled. "Welcome back."

"Thanks." I murmured, abruptly sitting down in my chair and setting down my tea.

"Your hair is different." He said, not making eye contact.

"Yeah, I got it done last night." I replied.

He continued typing at his computer and staring at the screen, so I began taking my notebooks out of my satchel. I turned on my computer and starting to type out my notes during this long and awkward silence.

"How was your vacation?" He asked, still staring at the screen.

I cleared my throat. "It was good...we went to Italy."

He nodded.

I gnawed at my lip, my stomach feeling like it was in knots. I closed my eyes tightly and took in a deep breath, I can't pretend like nothing's wrong. "You weren't at the wedding." I quietly spoke. I could hear him take in a sharp breath and then sigh. The keyboard stopped clicking and he turned to me.

"I had my reasons." He replied.

"Christian, I wanted you there-"

"Why? I made it clear to you the last time we saw each other how I felt...being there...I couldn't be there, okay?" He said, biting his lip.

I sighed and looked down, not saying anything.

"I've been talking to Jann lately, I've requested to go back to San Francisco." He murmured.

I looked up at him and furrowed my brow, "What? Why?"

He cocked his head to the side and gave me that look saying 'you know why.'

"Christian, that's a stupid reason to leave New York."

"Well what do you expect me to do? I told you that I loved you and I was rejected, and you married someone I'm supposed to pretend I'm friends with. I can't do this Avery."

I stood up and walked to the door, closing it and sighing as I leaned against the door.

"So this is your solution? Running away. Christian, you're better than this. You can't run away from this. I mean, what about me? I thought we were friends. And now you're deciding to throw this all away? You're being a coward Christian."

"Then how am I supposed to deal with this?" He gritted his teeth.

I came and sat down again. "Deal with it with me. Running away will only hurt you. In case you didn't know, friends are supposed to be there for each other. I hate confrontation as much as the next person, but at least I have the guts to face it. Come on Christian, we can work this out."

He stared at me with a confused look, like he didn't understand the idea of working things out.

I continued. "I'm sorry if I've hurt you. You mean a lot to me. I care for you and love you, but I can't love you in the way you want me to. You're one of my dearest friends and I can talk to you about anything. And if you're gonna be angry, be angry at me, not at Hudson. He doesn't know...Christian, please, don't go to California."

He sighed and looked down. He was quiet for a long time so I let him have this time to himself, I remained quiet too. He ran his hands through his hair as if he was exasperated, probably because he was. I can definitely push people, for example, forcing Hudson to go tell his family that we were engaged, and we all know how that turned out.

"Okay." He quietly replied. I looked up at him.

"I...no one's ever challenged me like this. Or call me a coward...but okay, let's work this out, let's start over." He nodded, looking at me.

I half-smiled and nodded back, "Good. So, as two friends starting over, can I take you out to lunch? You can't resist a gourmet cheeseburger and fries. Sinclair's know the way of the burger."

He bit his lip and chuckled, "Sure. You can tell me about Italy too."

I smiled back, surprised by his willingness to hear about it, so I thought I'd push my luck. "And tonight we're checking out McGees...would you wanna join us?"

He took in a sharp breath and leaned back into his seat, raising an eyebrow at me. "Maybe. Going out with you to lunch is...challenging enough, going to the bar with your friends and...husband, is pushing it."

"Our friends. Jules and Amelia like you too, as does Hudson." I smirked.

He rolled his eyes, "I'll think about it."

"And I'm not that challenging."

He gave a laugh.