I Promise if You're With Me, Say the Word and We'll Find a Way.

*a week later*

The boys were at the mall, hanging out before they had to go to sound check. Jack wanted to buy something nice for Alex; something to reward Alex because he's been doing great trying to stop cutting. He hasn't cut since the day he found Alex, and everyone was proud. Jack especially, because he thought he was finally getting through to Alex. Or so they all thought.

The truth was, Alex was still cutting. Not as often as he did before, but it was a hard habit to quit; especially when things between him and Jack were still a little rocky at times. Jack wasn't sleeping around anymore, but they would get into little arguments about stupid things that would lead to Jack storming out, making Alex feel alone. It wasn’t either boy’s fault. Jack had a temper that was hard to control sometimes. Usually it’s controlled around Alex because Alex makes him feel at peace. And it wasn’t Alex’s fault either. He’s been fragile lately. But he still hates himself for letting every little thing get to him, causing him to still pick up that blade he so badly wants to throw away.

The fact that he really just wanted to be with Jack but couldn't hurt him also. He had to trust Jack first. He was getting there, really. And the others were helping him too. If Jack was willing to wait a little longer, Alex was sure he'd be able to stop cutting altogether because Jack was Alex’s rock, as he was for Jack.

Jack was with Alex, walking around a music store. But Alex was mostly looking in one area, whereas Jack was the one doing the walking. He walked up to Alex. "What are you looking at?" Alex smiled. "Just some CD's. Don't know if I should but them though." Jack took them from his hands and started to walk away. "Well if you don't, I will." Alex jogged up to him. "No you don't have to, I-" "But I want to. Lex, they're just some CD's come on." Alex agreed and Jack smiled as he paid for them. "Thanks."

"Where the fuck is Zack and Rian?" Alex laughed. "They said they would be here in a few, Jay. Calm down." Jack pouted. They were sitting in the food court waiting for the other two to go back to the bus. “Don’t pout like that.” Alex said as he flicked Jack’s nose and Jack giggled. A few minutes later, Zack and Rian found them and they put their coats on and made their way back to the bus. It was about a 20 minute walk but they were okay with that. Except for Rian, because shit it was fucking cold. He absolutely hated winter. "So we had fun right?" Rian asked trying to fill the silence. Everyone agreed. Rian sighed as he felt the wind bite at his face. Clearly trying to make conversation didn’t work.
Zack, Rian, and Jack were talking and Alex stayed silent behind them, pulling at his sweater's sleeves. He felt so bad for lying to them, but at least he was trying to get better. He kept his sleeves balled up in his fists, shopping bag on his arm. He wished to just be in the warm bus so he could go straight to his bunk.
They had a show that night, and they left their warm bus to walk into the cold winter air. “This fucking sucks,” Rian said. “We freeze our asses off to make a 2 minute trip.” Jack laughed. “You’re the only one of us who hates winter, we don’t want to hear your bitching.” Alex giggled, pressing himself against Jack’s side. Jack looked down to see a smiling Alex and he grinned. He was happy that he could make Alex smile again.
They ended up going through sound check and through the concert quicker than expected and it was a great show. Alex even managed to go without cutting. But then he saw Jack talking to a girl as the band was signing for fans. She was definitely more than a fan. And Alex didn't like that he was with her. He kept signing though, until the guards started to shoo them away. The band headed towards the bus but before Alex did, he noticed the girl hand Jack a paper, most likely containing her number. Alex sprinted to the bus and went to his bunk, breathing in and out to calm himself. He didn't want to cut, and was determined not to right now. Jack walked in and threw the paper out. He didn't really want the girl’s number. Yeah he had needs, by he was going to ignore them the best he could; he wanted to wait for Alex.

When Alex calmed down, Jack walked in. "Hey Lex. What's up? Why aren't you with the others?" Alex sighed. "Just... Sometimes I get the need to...you know. So I try to calm myself down." Jack sat down frowning. "So why did you feel the need you had to?" He placed his hand on Alex’s cheek. "Because I saw that girl give her number to you." Jack nodded. "But I wasn't going to call her." Alex looked up. "You wanted to. And don't even deny it."

Jack took his hand off of Alex’s cheek and sat against the wall. "Not really, I threw it out. She was hot. But I didn't want to have sex with her, not after I thought of you." Alex was sort of mad. "Because you can't have sex with me." He whispered. "Alex that's not just it-" "JUST. So it is because you can't have sex with me. Because I'm not ready to give myself to you. I'm sorry but you're the one who hurt me, Jack." Jack got up. "I know. And I don't need to tell you I'm sorry because you already know that. But I am. I want to wait for you. Hey get some sleep okay?" Jack walks off and Alex does get sleep. At least Jack's not mad at him for blowing up. He admitted he had no reason to get mad the way he did. He's not mad at Jack though, he was just frustrated.

Jack sighed walking into the living room area. Zack looked up and frowned. “Everything okay?” Jack shook his head setting himself between Zack and Rian. “I don’t know. Some chick gave me her number and I didn’t want to be rude so I took it. But I threw it out because no, I didn’t want to call her.” Rian sighed. “So the problem is…?” Jack shrugged. “Alex saw and said I wanted to call her because I couldn’t have sex with him. And it’s true, I can’t. But I want to wait for him. You know?” they both nodded and Zack patted Jack’s back. “It’s okay. Alex knows, he’s just bee really emotional lately.” Jack nodded and turned the tv on. ‘why can’t he just see that it’s not all about sex?' he thought to himself as he focussed his attention on the television.