Angels of Unknown

Ravi's POV

The cold breeze blew around my hair as I sat, head in my palms. My forehead was furrowed, my body clenched and tense. I shivered, drawing my body up into a ball.

I could hear my watch ticking; it read 5.54AM as I sighed and leaned back on the hood of my car, slipping slightly as my breath caught as I stared at the view. Sunrise, bleaching the sky with colour. Reds, pinks and orange danced as the sun appeared, marking the breaking dawn of a new day. Picture-perfect, especially from the hill.

It should be beautiful to me, but it was not.

Shit, shit, shit, my mind said. I knew I'd blown it.

I couldn't believe what I'd done last night. I felt tainted; dirty and undeserving of my baby.

I cheated on her, I realised, horrified. I never meant to do that.

I cheated on her.

I fucking cheated on her.

I gulped.

What the fuck do I do now?

Bollocks.

Oh my god, what if she breaks up with me? What if Gerard finds out? What the fuck do I do? What if he hates me? What if everyone hates me?

Shit.

What if -

Shut up! I told myself. Great, now I'm going crazy. Wonderful. What a fucking perfect day.

I sat there in silence, as cliche as it sounds, not knowing whether minutes or hours had passed. My mind, on contrary, grew empty; completely blank. I couldn't think. I didn't allow myself to think. It would just make things worse.

The sky had turned resolutely blue and the city before me woke up as I realised I had to talk to someone. I was responsible; I couldn't leave this unresolved; buried, but sure to surface in the future. I was more than that.

Wordlessly, I got back into the car and started the engine.

---

"Gerard."

Merely a whisper, but he heard it. Heard the urgency, the fear and self-pity in my voice. Understandably alarmed, he grabbed my arm and hauled me into his apartment. Pretty place, but I suppose he's got the cash, with his successful comic book and Eisner award and all that...

"Ravi. What happened? You look fucking shit, man, I have to say."

"Thanks, really makes me feel good about myself," I laughed feebly, trying to make a joke out of the situation.

"Tell me what happened," Gerard repeated calmly, steering me to the couch and sitting me down as if I were a five year old or something.

"It's a long story, sure you have the time?" I asked, catching a glimpse of a half finished drawing, obviously laid down just as I appeared. I was interrupting his working time. Immediately I felt guilty.

"I mean, I can come back, you're obviously busy..." I said, gesturing to the drawing.

"Fuck that shit, man, friends are priority. Now tell me what the fuck happened."

I sat down again with a thud. " Oh jeez... I don't know where to start."

"From the beginning would help," came the dry reply.

"I guess... I guess it started with the doctor's clinic. Kay never told me what's wrong. She just went all moody suddenly. Everything I did wasn't good enough, even if I poured every ounce of my being into it. Anything she did wrong would automatically be my fault. She'd refuse to do anything... er... in the bedroom department, if you get my drift, then suddenly get these crazy horny moments. It was unsettling.

Everyone loves her. She's perfect. But nobody loves me, not even my own fiancee. I don't know what to do.

And then we had that argument. I ended up with a broken nose. It wasn't the first time, either.

In the end I gave up.

And then... Then she came along. She's so hot...and...and...she...offered me-" I choked on my words, realising too late: this is Lyn-Z's husband!

Crap. I needed to get out.

"Er...Gerard...I should go...."

"Nononono, don't go! I'm interested. Tell me more."

"Er..."

"STAY! What did she offer you?" Gerard pressed.

Maybe he wouldn't realise I haven't told him who I was talking about.

"...Sex."

"When?"

"Just after the argument."

"What did you say?"

"I said yes. I hadn't been laid for weeks, dude! You can't expect me to say no to that ass!"

"...That's understandable, dude. Don't sweat. Who is 'she', anyway?"

Shit.

"I...er..."

Gerard laughed, and then rubbed an eye.

"Ugh, this is weird. Lemme get some coffee."

He got up and walked to the kitchen. Instead of walking in, however, he stood at the door and spoke.

"Lyn, babe, can you get us some coffee?"

Crap. What was she doing here? Well obviously it was her house, but... I didn't expect that. She'd obviously been hiding out in the kitchen, knowing I was here. The bitch.

I didn't hear the reply, but obviously she consented, because Gerard walked back with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Sooo....who is she?"

"Gerard, I really have to go! I remember I left the....er...TV on. Energy saving, you know. I have to get back to switch it off. I don't have enough money for the electricity bill; damn not being successful like you," I smiled feebly yet again. I felt bad talking about money to Gerard, knowing it was make him embarassed. He wasn't proud of being the richer one of our friends. Guilt welled up in me for playing that card, but it would surely get me a ticket out of here.

As predicted, he blushed red and coughed awkwardly.

"Okay. Bye."

----------

"Oh, shit, Lulah, I don't know what the FUCK to do," I cried, collapsing in her arms. She'd just sat patiently for the past hour listening to my story after I'd fled Gerard's posh apartment. I'd gotten to the part where I don't know what to do. I broke down.

"Shhh, it's alright. It sounds as much Lyn-Z's fault as yours. You were both upset from what I heard: apparently Lyn and Gee had a fight, too."

Tallulah, being the wife of Brian Schechter, always was first to hear the news.

I looked up. "Oh? But they seemed fine when I went around theirs'..."

"They made up," she replied simply.

"My advice is for you to tell Gerard. Show him you're truly sorry. I think he'll understand; it's not like he's completely innocent! I should know, I dated him; he cheated on me, remember?"

My face twisted into a grimace. Way to go, Ravi.

"Shit, Lulah, I forgot. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, it was a long time ago and I'm happy now, with my Schech." She smiled.