Through The Eyes Of Skye

A wisp of smoke wraps around me as I blow out the last puff of my cigarette. It suffocates me, taking all my breath away. The last time I had smoked seems like ages ago. The day I left home for good was but a mere memory of my past. I stand-alone now, with only the people I have met so far in my new life. I pull out another cigarette and hand it to my friend Aubrey.

“Thanks,” she mutters her voice shallow and shaky.

She reaches and grabs the cigarette and pulls out her lighter. I watch as the flame burns, slowly growing as she lights it up. She slowly takes a deep puff.

“Can I borrow your lighter,” I ask eagerly.

She hands it over to me and I flicker the flame on and off.

“You sure like fire, don’t you?” she laughs already knowing what I would answer.

Fire is the light. It carries you to a whole new world, showing you what paths to take. I chuckle and keep my eyes on the flame. I slip my hand gently through it, careful not to burn myself. I just needed to feel the warmth.

“Where to next?” she asks.

I look in every direction and point the light to the darkest path.

“That way,” I whisper as I get up and begin to walk by her side.

Her shaggy black hair falls over her eyes as she stares down at her feet, watching her every step.

“Skye….” Her voice is distant.

“Everything is going to be alright, you don’t have to worry Aubrey,” I assure her.

Hesitation fills her; I can see it in the way she looks at me. What else is there to expect from a girl who has never faced reality? I needed her to trust me this time. I grab her hand and entangle my fingers with hers. Our souls are connected as one and now nothing could break us apart. A smile forms on her face and her thumb slowly moves in circles on top of my hand.

“You’re cold,” she states.

Now that I thought of it, it could be much warmer. Although we hadn’t traveled far from where we had been, Aubrey sat me down onto the grass. She let go of my hand and took of her sweatshirt and draped it around me.

“Is that better,” she asks.

Warmth radiates through my body.

“Thank you,” I say.

Her small figure lies down next to me on the ground. . She takes her hand and slowly runs them through my long brown hair, sending shivers up my spine.

“Have I ever told you that you are very beautiful,” she whispers into my ear.

I grin and turn my head to face her.

“I don’t believe so,” I tell her.

“Well….” She begins to say something but I cut her off.

I press my lips against hers and I let my tongue twist in motion with hers. It was nice to kiss her without being judged. So what if we were both girls. Love is love; people can’t take it away from us. She pulls away for a mere second and then pulls me back in, kissing me with more passion. My hands travel the depths of her body as I discover things that I only thought were real in my dreams. She kisses every part of my body and her hands rest on the waistband of my jeans. Her eyes hold a hunger deep inside.

“Go ahead Aubrey,” I whisper.

She unbuttons my jeans and slips them off. She strokes my bare legs with her fingertips and then I let her hands explore where they want to go. Something inside me awakens; my body is shaking as moans escape my mouth. I grasp her hair and pull her forcefully closer towards me. My hands also explore, as they slip up her shirt. I grab her breasts and move my fingers around them. She moans, calling out for more. I can’t move on though, something tells me to stop. I pull my hands away from her. A tear rolls down my cheek as Aubrey helps me back into my jeans. She looks worried.

“Did it happen again,” she asks.

She is the only one who knows about the flashbacks. They take me back to a time where everything was fake and my life fell apart around me. I nod my head slowly. She hugs me tightly.

“Everything will be okay,” she reassures me.

Disbelief consumes me though. Memories take hold as they flood back into my mind. One destination becomes a lie as I find myself on the same path I was brought to discover summers ago. His words draw me in. Just an innocent drive to the store in his hometown it was supposed to be. Now here we are pulling into a driveway in the middle of nowhere.

“What do you want to do,” he asks me, his voice demanding something good.

I look around me for a mere second out of his black car’s window. Somebody is bound to notice us. I look back at him. He awaits an answer that I do not have.

“I guess we could make out,” I reply, insecurity in my tone.

I stay still as he reaches over me and reclines my seat. He scoots under me and we begin to make out. I can feel the way he gets hard underneath my helpless body. When I stop, he pleads for more. Nothing happens though as we hear a soft knock on the car window. A man stands outside, he appears in his late sixties. The window is rolled down as the young man I’m with reaches his head out the window.

"You kids always come back here," the older man asks us.

I can feel my body trembling.

"No sir," I reply.

He peeks into the car. How much had he seen?

"If you drive a little further there is a driveway where you kids can park," he tells us.

What kind of sick minded person was he?

He heads back off to the field where he was working and the car I'm in backs up a little so we are less visible. The young man stares at me, awaiting my next move. He slides his shorts down and shows me things I’d rather not see.

“You know you want to touch it,” he says deeply.

I glance down at it.

“Take me back to the party,” I demand.

“I bet you’ve never even touched one before,” he says, laughter in his tone.

I roll my eyes. Of course I have. Was it enjoyable? Maybe at the time, but now I’d rather not do those things.

“Yes, I have,” I reply.

He smiles.

“Bet mine is bigger, come on touch it,” he tells me forcefully.

I reach down and I stroke it a few times, then I stop.

“Come on,” he calls for more.

“No, take me back to the party,” I tell him.

We don’t leave. I sit there while he touches himself, and when he is satisfied we go.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he begs me.

I keep staring out the window and watch as a couple of my friends go by in a car, waving to me as they go. It depresses me knowing what I have done. All my stupid mistakes and stupid decisions, lead me into some twisted situation. Leaving me trapped, as all my memories fade back into the past