Motley

“Hiya, Batsy.” Joker laughs when Batman nearly falls off the gargoyle he’s perched up, turning to glare up at Joker, who’s leaning out a nearby window, elbows resting on the sill. “No, no, no, Bats, don’t move.” He taps the barrel of his gun against his forehead and grins. “I’m just, ha, here to talk. But I, uh, don’t fancy returning to Arkham just yet, so, er, one wrong move and I’ll put a bullet in you.”

“What do you want, Joker?” Batman growls, and Joker chuckles.

“Don’t be dense, Bats, I already, hoo, said that I wanna talk.” He sighs dramatically, tilting his head to let the wind blow through his hair. “S’nice up here, hmm? Look at, ha, all the teeny tiny little citizens below. Wanna burn ‘em.” He puts a finger to his chin and ponders. “Do you think a, ha, a bunch of firetraps would work?” Joker shakes his head, deciding. “Nah. Too Riddler.”
He goes quiet for a few moments, blinking lazily at Batman. “It’s weird havin’ a kid,” he says suddenly. “Are your Robins like that?” When Batman doesn’t speak Joker sighs and aims the gun at him. “C’mon, Batsy. Answer me.”

“My Robin’s are heroes,” Batman grinds out. “Your child is an abomination spawned by monsters.”

Joker frowns and spits, watching interestedly as his saliva hits a pedestrian below. She squeals and bats at her hair.

“I, ha, I dunno. I like my Motley. He’s tough. Clever. Got his daddy’s smile.” Joker giggles. “Well, kinda.”

“Give him up, Joker. Before he’s irreparably damaged.”

“Nah. You’ve got it, ha, wrong, Bat Brain. I like him, ah, the way he is. He, oh, won’t change. Anyway, let’s not, hoo!, pretend that your family isn’t, uh, a tad touched in the head. I saw the new kid you’ve been toting around, the replacement. He left, hoo, one of my poor defenseless men in a coma. Not very nice, Batsy.”

Batman winces, ignoring the last part.

“My Robin’s came to me. They’re willing to sacrifice for the greater good,” Batman rasps, glaring.

“And Motley, ha, he came to me. So he’s mine.”

Batman’s eyes narrow with surprise.

“You actually love him, don’t you? I didn’t think that was possible.”

Joker sticks his tongue out.

“Don’t be, ha, sappy, Bats. He’s my kid, he belongs to me, and I, er, don’t hate having him around.”

“Huh.”

Joker leans further out the window to examine Batman’s face.

“It’s, ah, still weird, though. Having to protect someone besides myself.”

Batman just glares.

Satisfied with annoying him, Joker smirks.

“Anywho, I gotta go. Y’know, ha, crimes to commit, people to murder. Nice talk, Batsy.”

He disappears, gone by the time Batman gets through the window.