Tis the Season

Jamie followed Derek into the diner, sighing as she did so. If she was being honest then this was the absolute last place she wanted to be. She was confused and sad and frustrated and Derek was being even more annoying than usual lately. And there was the small matter of the fact that Jamie couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.

The pair found a seat quickly, opting for a small table by a window at the front of the diner and Jamie was quietly thankful for that. Not only would it give her some distraction to look out the window but also if she needed to she’d be able to flee easily and she was feeling like that was a serious possibility at the moment.

As soon as they sat down and their waitress came by for their drink order and to drop off menus Jamie sighed and zipped her lips. She knew the routine, knew that it wouldn’t matter if she wanted something else or something different, Derek would be ordering for her regardless. The brunette waited, silently staring at the table while her boyfriend told the waitress she’d have an iced tea and he’d like Dr. Pepper. She waited while he flipped through the menu, deciding on what to order for them both without consulting her.

Once the waitress returned with their drinks and Derek put in their order, a cheeseburger for him and a chicken sandwich for her, he leaned back in his chair and gave a content sigh. Jamie watched him and couldn’t help but wonder if she had picked him because he looked completely different from Harry or if he was really charming when they first met. Currently she couldn’t remember and that made her lean more towards the former.

“What?” Derek asked, crashing his chair back down to the floor. “Do I have something on my face?”

“What? No?” Jamie asked, confused as she shook her head. “Why?”

“You look disgusted,” Derek said as he rested his elbows on the table and threaded his fingers together. “And you’re lookin’ at me.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Jamie replied flatly and turned her attention to the scenery outside her window.

It was easy for Jamie to remind herself why she was spending time with Derek when he wasn’t around. But now that they were together, just a mere few feet from each other at the same table she was having trouble. Just like she was having trouble keeping Harry’s image from her mind. She was having trouble blocking out his voice, his words, and his claim that she knew they were meant to be. Did she know that? At one point she thought she had. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“What’s the matter with you?” Derek asked after a few minutes.

Jamie turned and glanced at her boyfriend. He was staring at her, arms crossed over his chest and looking a lot like he was ready to blow his top. The girl shrugged and turned her attention back to the people walking the sidewalk out the window. They were few and far between but waiting for someone to walk by was still better than looking at Derek at the moment.

“Jamie yo-,” whatever Derek had been about to say disappeared as their waitress returned with their food. She set the plates down in front of them and asked if they needed anything else. Derek said no even though Jamie was seriously wishing she could ask for some ranch for her fries.

“What the fuck aren’t you telling me?” Derek snapped as soon as their waitress had disappeared.

Jamie shook her head and picked up her sandwich. “Nothing,” she muttered quietly before taking a bite to avoid talking.

Derek gritted his teeth and picked up his burger. “You’re just wasting my time again,” he told her between bites. Jamie cringed as a crumb of food fell from his lips and shook her head.

“I’m wasting your time? What about when my car broke down and you didn’t answer your phone after I called you a couple times?” Jamie retorted as she dropped her sandwich. “Or how when we went out and saw Harry and you couldn’t stop checking out other girls?”

Jamie’s boyfriend set down his burger. “Maybe if you weren’t letting yourself go I’d want to keep staring at you.”

The brunette’s mouth dropped open. She couldn’t justify it anymore. She wanted so badly to be able to say that there was a reason she was with Derek but she couldn’t. This proved it. But maybe he was just having an off day. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. She opened her mouth to tell him to call her when he calmed down but before she could he continued.

“I don’t know why I continue wasting my time with you,” he said, shaking his head as he picked up his burger. “You don’t even have anything good to offer in a conversation, let alone the bedroom.”

As much as Jamie wanted to believe he was having a bad day, she knew that wasn’t true. She was moving before she could even process it - standing up so fast her chair fell backwards.

“Fuck you Derek,” she said before turning on her heel and walking towards the door.

“No thanks!” He called after her, chuckling as he did.

Tears stung the brunette’s eyes as she walked out into the cold, curling in on herself to shield herself from the wind. Was Derek always that much of an asshole or was that a recent development? Did she really let herself go? Jamie wasn’t sure and she hated that. She hated that she was questioning his hateful words.

Halfway to her flat she stopped and pulled out her phone. She knew as she did it that it wasn’t a good idea but she couldn’t help it. Jamie wanted to hear his voice, she wanted to feel a little bit better and he would do that, wouldn’t he?

“Jamie?” Harry answered on the second ring. He sounded surprised but delighted and that was enough to bring a smile to her lips.

“Hi,” she squeaked through a sob.

“What’s the matter?” Jamie could practically see him sitting up a little straighter, giving her his undivided attention. The thought made her cry a little harder; he was so perfect, how could she have thought otherwise?

“I just fought with Derek,” she admitted as she started moving towards her flat again. “He said I’ve let myself go.”

Harry sighed on the other end. “Are you kidding me Jamie?”

“W-what?”

“You’re calling me after a fight with your boyfriend?” Harry snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Look, I’m sorry he’s a douchebag but I’ve been pretty clear. I want you back, Jam. I’m not going to play the role of your best friend and listen to you cry because you got in a fight with your boyfriend.”

“Harr-“ Jamie was cut off by the voice on the other end.

“I’m sorry but I’ve got to go,” he said softly. “You know where to find me.”

The line went dead and Jamie sobbed. Through blurry vision she scrolled through her contacts and settled on Kendall. Her friend answered almost immediately but Jamie couldn’t talk, she couldn’t do anything but cry.

“Jamie?” Kendall asked as the girl in question reached her flat. She unlocked the door and headed up the stairs, stumbling as she did.

“Harry hung up on me cause I called him after I fought with Derek,” the brunette admitted as she entered her flat. “He said he was clear he wanted me back.”

“Oh Jamie,” Kendall sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t talk anymore,” Jamie said and ended the call.

She tossed her phone onto the bed and dived on it after, crying into her pillow as she went. How was she supposed to process this? Was she broken up with Derek? Neither had said as much but did a ‘fuck you’ make that clear? Or would they make up in a day or two? The questions were endless and Jamie still wasn’t ready to really face what she actually wanted.