Nothing but the Stars

Tragedy always struck home with Nari whether it’s watching the news or losing something sentimental she couldn’t bear sadness. Her feelings tend to overwhelm her, crashing into her like waves. Nari is the most empathetic person in her family, sensitive to another’s feelings.

No one really understood how to deal with someone as sensitive as her. People tend to avoid her thinking a single word will break her. Nari was heartbroken how disconnected she felt with people when she reached out. Tears do come easily to her, her emotions can override her senses, but it doesn’t make her fragile.

“You’re a beautiful unique woman, Nari. I barely say a word and you already understand what I want to say. No one understands emotions better than you and it’s one of the reasons why I love you.

Her beautifully amazing and gorgeous husband Abel meant the world to her. No, he still does. She could picture his soft brown hair that curved in waves when she combed her hand through it. How his light grey eyes shined with love when he saw her, the brilliant smile that offered the most wonderful laugh she had ever heard and his arms that provided the safest place in the world.

How can she feel safe now? It’s nearly impossible to feel comforted by the hundreds of people all mourning with her. She could feel the pain, the remorse, the ripping of one’s own heart. Muffled cries echoed in the room. Nari tried to block all of it.

She tried to remember the way her husband said her name. How he always tried to surprise her with a hug, but ends up hurting himself in the end. How patient, kind, sweet, compassionate—Nari paused, trying to regain her composure.

She wanted to be strong not for her sake, but for Abel’s. He wouldn’t want her crying, he hated seeing her tears. Nonetheless, most if not all had red rimmed blood shot eyes as they heard the minister speak. “And now a few words from his wife, Nari.” Her mouth felt dry as she stared at the minister looking at her expectedly. The room became quiet waiting for her to say something.
A comforting squeeze came from her mother-in-law, Kitty, she muttered, “It’s alright sweetie. Just say a few words.”

Her big brown eyes glossed over as she slowly stood up feeling everyone watching her steps. Nari’s heart pounded in her ear as she walked closer to the casket. A huge knot formed in her throat as she looked at the sickly light head at the mere sight of him her knees instantly buckled.

Her brown curls fell in front of her face as sobs wracked her body. “I-I can’t. I just…can’t.” Nari shook her head hoping to get rid of the image in her head.

The poor woman didn’t notice the person racing to her side bringing her close to their frame. “It’s alright. You don’t have to say anything…Abel already knows. He knows.” The soothing voice hit her ears she looked up to see who rescued her. Instantly, she recognized the face she has seen countless times over the years.

The only face Abel truly trusted other than her. “T-tom?”

He nodded in confirmation. “It’s me. Let’s get you seated.” Nari held onto Tom tightly as he lifted her up. Her legs wobbled as she walked towards the empty seats on the opposite side of the room. She noticed she will be closer to Abel in this arrangement.

Silence filled the air until Tom walked back towards the clueless minister. A quick exchange happened before Tom stood by the podium. “Given to circumstances I’ll say a few words. Abel was a kind and just lad from the very beginning…He looked out for others without expecting anything in return, he stayed by your side until the weight was lifted off your shoulders. Abel always knew he wanted to serve his country, he did so honorably and faithfully. It gives me great pride and joy to be a part of his life let alone be his best mate. I consider him a brother…a brother that I will always cherish and remember and I by oath I swear to fulfill my promises that we made to one another.”

Nari saw his eyes flicker towards her for a moment, his steady voice filled with anguish and sorrow. “He will always be remembered.” The rest of the crowd repeated his last words. Tom inhaled deeply pushing back tears as she sat down. Nari leaned against him, listening to the speeches of family and close friend.

The tender hand of her sister came a few minutes later, her soft brown eyes staring down at her before bringing her close. Muttering comforting words and letting Nari cry into her dress; she is going to need a support system and the unbearable circumstances of what comes after death; she did not look forward to it. She would have to go through his things, separating who is going to take what given to what Abel wrote in his will.

The simple heartache of never seeing him again, there will be no anniversaries or him making a fool out of himself dancing in his boxers and tube socks, dancing and singing off key just to get a smile on her face. Constant smiles and laughter that filled their house will now be in eerie echoes.

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Delphine mumbled.

Nari sniffed. She couldn’t bear to see anyone giving her that sympathetic look, the one she is going to get when they bury Abel. The widow rather deal with it once than numerous of times. Delphine didn’t say much as she coddled her sister until people started to trickle out of the church.

Strategically, Delphine brought Nari to her car to drive to the grave site before family and friends could say anything to her. Nari blanked from then on, she didn’t remember burying Abel or the roses people placed on his casket. The soft cries and whimpers from her lips.

Silently watching everyone disperse after the service she became thankful that she is alone, but one thought remained in her mind.

Anger rose deep in her belly as she searched for his tall recognizable figure, only to not find him. Digging the tip of her shoe into the grass, she gritted her teeth, adding pressure, her shoe sunk after a little force. She felt like after that comforting scene in the church she hasn’t seen Tom since. It upset her.

“Stupid asshole.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say.” Tom frowned; standing beside her while he listened to her grumble about disappearing. “I’m sorry. Kitty wanted me to help with last minute arrangements with Abel and I know…you rather not think about it.” Staying still, she wiped her tears as she gazed down at the newly uprooted ground that is neatly being covered.

Tom tried again, “Nar.” Brushing her tears away, he smiled compassionately as she leaned against his hand. Closing her dark brown eyes, her body leaned against his for support. Tom wrapped his long arms around her thick form, rubbing her back soothingly, leaning his cheek against her onyx colored hair.

With a shaky sigh, she mumbled, “I don’t want to go home.”

“You don’t have to.” He steered her to his car where she will stay with him as long as she wanted. Nari never had to step foot in that place again if she wanted to and keeping the promise that he made with Abel, he will look after her.