Nothing but the Stars

Nari felt that morning bliss, the stage where she is coming up for air to breathe life into her body again as her eyes peel open ready to see the sun rise. Every morning, she would up at dawn to see the sun rise, not because she is forced to, but because she loves it. She loves the morning and even though Abel abhorred being woken up so early, he on occasion joins her.

Today felt like one of those days, for her to wake up beside Abel nudging him from his slumber to ask if he would join her that morning. As her dark eyes opened, afraid of reality setting in, her heart constricted as she saw his side of the bed empty.

Pursing her quivering lips, she held back a sob as she gently stroked where he used to sleep. Yet she felt something…warmth? Lifting her head, she gliding her hand down to feel the warmth radiating off the sheets like he just risen. If memory serves her correctly, he would jump in the shower to wake himself up before taking her to the balcony to watch the sun rise.

Hope filled her wondering if yesterday was a dream; that everything she went through was purely a fixation of her imagination. Yes, that had to be it. She couldn’t find another thing missing with this picture. The universe wouldn’t be so cruel to take away her loving husband.

Throwing the covers off of her, the cold morning air bit at her skin as she rolled off; quietly, she tip toed to the bathroom, the familiar sound of water running and splashing creating harsh echoes. The cool wooden floors felt real, the steam that started to circulate around her felt real, she frowned when she noticed that the fan in the bathroom isn’t turned on, a pet peeve of hers that Abel never did.

Instead of becoming angry like she usually did, she smiled. Pure joy leapt into her heart as she left the fan off, disregarding that their bathroom will be more prone to mold in the future. That can wait. Nari had to see for herself that this isn’t an illusion.

The tall frame behind the glass doors obstructed her view, sliding it to the right water sprinkled on her face as he threw his hand across his shoulder to scrub. Silently she stood there, frozen and unable to comprehend everything. It had to take Abel who felt someone watching him, to turn around, screaming in fright as he jumped back, partially slipping and losing his balance. His reflexes caught on as he grabbed onto the shower head.

“What the—Nari! What the hell?” His light grey eyes wide, confusion stricken his handsome features as he took a step closer to the emotional woman; he softly called her name noticing her misty eyes. “Nari…you’re going to get wet.” He warned, placing his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from stepping further into the shower.

She didn’t care, pushing his hands away, she embraced him tightly. Taking in his scent, his skin and warmth that made the pit of her stomach melt into a puddle. Water pouring down, soaking her long sleeve and paisley pants, pressing her lips against his skin, she murmured, “I thought I lost you…I had a dream—you died and I lost you. I didn’t know what to do a-and…”

Words caught in her throat as he tightly hugged her, kissing the crown of her head. “Hey, you didn’t lose me. I’m right here, baby. I’m right here.” He cooed.

It felt surreal having his arms wrapped around her; it felt like eternity since the last time they had something like this. And just like that she felt him slipping, her vision started to blur, Abel’s muffled voice blew into the background as she felt her eyes finally opening to reveal that she has been alone all along and this is reality.

_ _ _

Didn’t take long for Tom to walk into his room to check on Nari; after the meltdown he made it to himself to check on her every portion of the night. She would twist and turn in her sleep, restless and mumbling softly to herself.

When he saw that she was sobbing in her sleep, he took her into his arms, placing his hand into her hair nestling her close to his chest as he ran the other hand down her back. Her erratic cries were mixed with the name of her deceased husband, a familiar sting of losing someone precious overcoming him. Tom didn’t know what it felt like to lose the love of your life, not in this particular situation.

Nari had been so happy, the two of them. They were perfect for one another, cheerful and a couple that he strived to have with someone else. Nari became that friend that he would seek approval from when he brought his girlfriends to gatherings, noticeably Abel would tease him that he saw Nari as another mother figure.

Maybe he did or he knew deep down that she would be truthful to him when it came down to it. Nari wouldn’t sugarcoat things and lend a sympathetic ear when needed. Abel and Nari are few of his closest friends, their friendship had mileage.

So to lose one of his friends, no, his brother and to see Nari so broken about it only brought more pain. Tom knew he had to be strong for the both of them; he promised he will look after Nari whenever Abel is absent or was on a tour; no matter where work took Tom he would always check on her. Lately he slacked, not calling her like he should have and that is when he received the news.

Nari called him crying, he instantly thought she was crying how hurt she was that he hasn’t been keeping in touch. Instead it was far worse, the worst phone call he ever received.

Having her in his arms allowed him to have some sense of security even though she is barely hanging on herself. He would have a shoulder to lean on, if things were difficult to cope. Watching as those constantly teary eyes open, he felt his own eyes water at her devastation.

“I thought…I thought he was here.” Taking a shaky breath, she mumbled. “He’s gone, isn’t he?”

Tom didn’t want to bring her back into this world filled with hurt and harsh bitter reality that her husband isn’t here. As much as he wanted to protect her, he honestly told her, “Yes, he is.” He expected the tears that came with the answer and tears streaking down her tan cheeks made his heart break even more. How long would she have to suffer before she started to heal?

The man had no clue on the healing process of being a widow. “Oh, Nari.” He breathed in her scent as he felt her holding him that much tighter, clinging to him as that anchor.

Then he realized that he will be her anchor, Abel used to be, but now seeing that he is gone leaving her floating in outer space, he will have to pull her back to Earth. One thing that he had no idea how to do, he could feel her distancing herself, letting herself float away as he tries to beckoning her back home.

“It’s not fair. None of this is fair.” She whimpered; wiping her eyes against his shirt, sniffling as mucus dripped down her nose from her constant crying. Tender red eyes squeezed shut as she continued to whisper that it wasn’t fair. If this wasn’t something that would break his heart then the next few words will.

“I want Abel back. I want him back so badly, Tom.”

“I know, darling.” He exhaled as his eyes shifted around his room seeing the pictures placed up, the few that contained Abel, Nari, and himself smiling, laughing, light filling their eyes in amusement. Of course, he would neglect the girlfriend that he would have at the time only focusing on the couple that meant so much to him as family.

Everything will be fine, he reassured her. Even though it seems false sense of security to have those words uttering out of his mouth because of her state of mind, he still said those words. Nari sobbed quietly as her nails dug into his back to release some of the pain that is throbbing in her heart.