Don't Ever Let Go of That Smile

Kellin spent the afternoon crying, he didn't know what he felt. He felt numb, worthless, upset, angry, frustrated.. Yet deserving in a way. He deserved this pain he caused. He decided to get a hold of himself and make his way to see Austin. He threw on a rough outfit of crumpled up jeans and a coffee-stained white Slipknot t-shirt. His hair was all over the place. He had broken out with spots all over his face and his eyes were sunken; black circles underneath. To top it all off, his arm still hurt like a bitch, and his check up wasn't for another week. He sighed but continued to walk out the door. He suddenly felt lucky to live so close to the hospital; he didn't know what he would do without a car. He couldn't exactly afford a bus everyday. After about twenty minutes walking, he reached the hospital. That must be a record! Then again, he WAS half-running.
When he got closer to the room Austin was in, he almost expected him to be sitting up, laughing with one of the pretty nurses. That would be typical of him. He'd be looking up at them, smiling that cute smile he always does. When Kellin realised that wasn't happening, he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Quickly wiping it away, he walked over to sit beside Austin. He sighed. He didn't even know what his thoughts were like. They were racing at one hundred miles an hour, he couldn't tell what was what, least of all make sense of them all. He sat there feeling slightly dizzy for over an hour before any nurse showed up.
"Hey, nurse? Any updates on Austin's condition?" He asked, nervously.
"Well, Kellin, that's not up to me to say..." She said, looking around for someone who was obviously higher up in the job than she was. She spotted the main doctor, and called him over.
"Kellin," he said. "I'm afraid I have a bit of news. Not so good, might I add," he said reluctantly.
Kellin felt his heart rise in his chest. What the hell was this man going to tell him? He looked from the consultant doctor to Austin. He was laying there ever so peacefully, and he was sure he could see a tiny hint of that famous smile. He switched back to reality.
"I'm afraid last night Austin had some difficulty breathing," he said, sympathetically.
Oh, shit. "Uh, what? Is he- he's okay, right?" He looked to Austin, he looked just fine! Apart from the millions of wires, his pale skin, the beeping monitors around him, the-
"He's stable now. We managed to give him oxygen, which worked. That's a good sign. We just need to keep an eye on him. We don't want his body to be dependant on the oxygen mask to breathe." He seemed confident. Kellin relaxed just a little.
The most important thing was that he was okay now. He was breathing; stable. Although once again, Kellin felt extremely helpless.
"Thank you doctor. Let me know if there's uh, anything I can do," he said, almost in a daze. He couldn't grasp the whole situation.
"Of course Kellin. Although there is one thing, Austin needs some more tests done. Nothing serious. We just need to be sure. He's going to be taken to a special room on the fourth floor," Kellin looked at him blankly. "Unfortunately he won't be allowed visitors, be it friends or um.. Partners," he said, unsure.
"We're just friends doctor!!" He blushed.
"Very well. How about you head back here around, say, seven o' clock? After everything's settled down," the doctor suggested.
Kellin hated not being able to wait with Austin, but he knew it wouldn't always be possible. "Sure, doc. See you then, and thanks again I guess," he added. The doctor smiled and Kellin was on his way.