Status: Updating a few times a week :') I'm busy with exams so please don't shoot me if I'm late updating!
Don't Ever Let Go of That Smile
Feeling Small
Kellin opened the back door to his house. He was so flustered! How had all of this happened? He thought back to three weeks ago, still during summer vacation when himself and Austin were out and about, doing crazy things together. Seeing silly children's movies in the movie theater, chasing dogs at the beach. He wondered if that would ever happen again.
He quickly pushed that thought from his mind. Of course Austin would recover. He had to. That positivity soon found its way out of Kellin's mind as he let negativity take over yet again. This was all his fault. His best friend was in a coma fighting for his life and it was all because of him. And what punishment did he receive? A fucking broken arm. That wasn't enough. The roles should be reversed. Austin was an amazing, wonderful guy and deserved better. It should be himself in that hospital bed, tubes connected to every inch of his body; the constant beeping of the heart rate machines and the suction sound of the oxygen mask.
It must be changed. This whole situation. Maybe, if there is a god of some sort, (although Kellin didn't particularly believe in things like that), he would have some mercy once he sees Kellin hurting? Maybe if he beats karma to the punch, everything would be okay. It was his fault after all, right?
He paced back and forth in the kitchen, not knowing what to do with himself. He decided to go to bed once he remembered his promise to take it easy. He walked up the stairs in a zombie-like manner, and fell into bed; hoping this feeling of self-hatred and guilt would ease off in the morning.
Kellin awoke to the sound of birds chirping and singing happily in the garden outside. The feeling in his head was almost hungover; confusion, minus the walloping pain. He was hoping to have at least a few seconds having forgotten the tragedy of the previous day. Unfortunately not. He felt numb. Numb was the only word that could be used to describe how he felt. He slowly - as if being controlled - stood up, walking over to his bathroom. He didn't cry. He didn't swear. He didn't do anything. He glanced at himself in the mirror. It was like staring at your complete arch enemy face to face. The kind of anger you feel when you meet that guy that stole your girl at the bar. The kind of anger you would feel if you met the criminal who committed upsetting crimes. He just wanted to scream at his reflection. How DARE he cause his best friend so much pain? Not to mention his dad, and his sister and brother who would no doubt be by his bedside at that moment, sobbing perhaps, maybe even feeling numb as Kellin did right now.
He glared at himself. He had never hated anyone as much as he hated himself at that very moment. It was going to be a long day.
He quickly pushed that thought from his mind. Of course Austin would recover. He had to. That positivity soon found its way out of Kellin's mind as he let negativity take over yet again. This was all his fault. His best friend was in a coma fighting for his life and it was all because of him. And what punishment did he receive? A fucking broken arm. That wasn't enough. The roles should be reversed. Austin was an amazing, wonderful guy and deserved better. It should be himself in that hospital bed, tubes connected to every inch of his body; the constant beeping of the heart rate machines and the suction sound of the oxygen mask.
It must be changed. This whole situation. Maybe, if there is a god of some sort, (although Kellin didn't particularly believe in things like that), he would have some mercy once he sees Kellin hurting? Maybe if he beats karma to the punch, everything would be okay. It was his fault after all, right?
He paced back and forth in the kitchen, not knowing what to do with himself. He decided to go to bed once he remembered his promise to take it easy. He walked up the stairs in a zombie-like manner, and fell into bed; hoping this feeling of self-hatred and guilt would ease off in the morning.
Kellin awoke to the sound of birds chirping and singing happily in the garden outside. The feeling in his head was almost hungover; confusion, minus the walloping pain. He was hoping to have at least a few seconds having forgotten the tragedy of the previous day. Unfortunately not. He felt numb. Numb was the only word that could be used to describe how he felt. He slowly - as if being controlled - stood up, walking over to his bathroom. He didn't cry. He didn't swear. He didn't do anything. He glanced at himself in the mirror. It was like staring at your complete arch enemy face to face. The kind of anger you feel when you meet that guy that stole your girl at the bar. The kind of anger you would feel if you met the criminal who committed upsetting crimes. He just wanted to scream at his reflection. How DARE he cause his best friend so much pain? Not to mention his dad, and his sister and brother who would no doubt be by his bedside at that moment, sobbing perhaps, maybe even feeling numb as Kellin did right now.
He glared at himself. He had never hated anyone as much as he hated himself at that very moment. It was going to be a long day.
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Yay more updates WOO! Haha, thanks to calliepiercessirens and OfMiceAndSquidgy25 for commenting; I'm just going to refer to Austin's Dad as Robert, hopefully it's actually his name! Ahah xDComment for more updates, you know the drill:)