My Miserable Romance

"Gerard... Can I come in?" Bob asked carefully. I havent left my room in over three days more then when I had to eat and use the bathroom.
"Yeah" I groaned as I saw Ray and Mikey come in as well. "I said that you could come in... Not all three"
They shrugged and sat down on my bed.
"When are you coming out of your room?" Ray asked and looked at me with sad eyes. "You need fresh air"
"You have no idea of what I need" I muttered as I tried to avoid eye-contact with any of them.
"True, but I do know that you're not suppose to be alone right now"
"I do whatever I feel like. And right now I feel like sleeping away my whole life"
"We wont let you do that, though" Mikey said sternly and tried to grab my arm, but I rolled out of my bed to avoid him.
"You have done enough" I hissed and walked over to my small window. He sighed and walked up to me.
"Im sorry, Gerard. I was mad, but I didnt want-"
"Didnt want?" I sniffed.
"Okay, I didnt think that he would break up with you"
"But you wanted it"
"Yes, but I hate to see you like this" he said and put an arm on my shoulder.
"How?" I asked and turned to face him. "Depressed, sad, angry, fucked up, confused, in love? I'm a lot of things, Mikey, please leave me alone"
"Fine" he said and was just about to walk out when he turned to me. "We're having band practise in two days and I expect you to be there"

I remembered that I'd promised him not to let this ruin our band. But this isnt like that... Frank and I would still be together if Mikey just calmed down, so technically I dont need to be there.
"You cant force me" I said and looked out the window. The grey concrete, the grey rain, grey houses with shitty, grey gardens... Grey, like my mood.
"So you're letting the band down?"
"You are" I mumbled. He probably didnt hear it, cause then he would've objected. "I doubt Frank will be there anyway" I added a bit louder. He probably hates me. I mean, why else would he break up with me? You dont break up with people just cause your boyfriends brother is being a real pain in the ass all the time... Or do you?

"I'll call him and ask. If he'll come, will you?" Mikey asked me and watched Ray and Bob, who was playing with my pillows. "Guys, please... Be mature for once"
"Dont you worry about us being immature, worry about your depressed brother, who's standing and looking down from a window..." Bob said and glanced anxiously at me.
"Im not gonna kill myself" I said and sighed. "And no, I wont come if he'll come"
"Why not?" Mikey whined.
"Go and think about that in the kitchen... And take those two with you" I said and pointed at Ray and Bob, who shook their heads.
"No, if you're not leaving your room, then neither are we. We can keep you company!" Ray exclaimed.
"I dont want company, I wanna be alone"
"And think about how miserable your life is so you'll just get even more depressed? We're staying, Gee"
"I appreciate what you're doing, but I really wanna be alone!" I was getting quite annoyed, cause all I wanted to was to be alone and sort out my thoughts.
"I'll be right back, I just have to call Frank" Mikey said and before I could argue about the `I'll be right back´, he was out the door. I groaned in frustration and got back to staring out the window.

"You hate us right now, but later on you'll realize that we're only trying to help you" Bob said and started fiddling with his cellphone.
"That's the problem, I dont hate you and I do realize that you're only trying to help, but you'll be much more helpfull on the other side of the door!"
"What are you gonna do in here then?" he asked and his eyes got wide. "You're gonna masturbate and think about Frank!"
"No Im not, you twat!" I yelled but couldnt help but smile. Bob's face were all screwed up, like he had thought about me masturbating... Wait, that's not fun! "Eww, you pictured it, didnt you?!"
"Yes I did, and I wont look at you for a few hours..." he muttered and ran out the door.
"Ray, out"
"No"
"Picture me naked with Frank between my legs-"
"It doesnt work"
"Oh Frank..." I said and rubbed my crotch with both of my hands.
"Okay, Im leaving!" he said and threw up his hands in the air, and just as he ran out the door, Mikey came in.
"For fuck's sake!" I groaned and hit my fist in the table in frustration. Mikey gave me an odd look before he closed the door behind him and sat down on my bed. Damn, this time I cant do the `picture me naked´-thing... He would kill himself.
"I talked to Frank" he said and waited for me to react.
"Yeah, you said you would"
"So you dont wanna hear what he said?"
"That depends"
"Well, he said that he wont come to the band practise, which means that you can come"
"Why didnt he wanna come?"
"Oh, so you are a little curious after all?" he asked and smirked at me.
"Just tell me"
"He was gonna meet Lisa"
I felt a lump form in my throat, so I looked away from him. Of course he was with her! He loved, or love, her...

"Jeeze Gerard, I was just kidding! Don't be such a wuss" Mikey said and punched me on the arm.
"Get out" I ordered and he did. Quite fast, actually. I should've known that he was joking, and a part of me did. Of course Frank's not with Lisa. She's got a boyfriend, a fucking criminal bastard who beats the crap out of people... And then the victims boyfriend just leave. How could I be so stupid?!

I left him when he was crying and screaming for me to stay with him, and now he doesnt have to put up with me anymore. I slapped myself to remind myself that Frank didnt want to break up with me. If Mikey just... I dont know what Mikey needs to do. He didnt need to like the fact that I was with Frank, he just had to respect and accept it. But apparently that was too much to ask.

A wave of sadness, depression and confussion came over me as I thought that I would never be able to kiss Frank again. Hug him maybe, but never like we did during these months... Never feel his skin against mine more than the skin on our hands. I would probably never see him naked either. That soooo sucks! I miss him. Even though it hadnt been more than three days since I saw him, it felt like I hadnt heard his voice in years. I couldnt even remember how he sounded, or how he looked like.
I'll forget all about him in a few days. Maybe my pain will disappear as well. Oh God, that sounded cheesy.

I decided to leave the bedroom, at least for a few minutes. Bob, Mikey and Ray would be thrilled...

"Go and wash your hands" was the first thing Bob said to me as I entered the livingroom.
"Uh.. why?"
"God knows what you've been doing in there..."
I laughed slightly and Mikey gave out a high-pitched shriek.
"You laughed!" he exclaimed and pointed at me.
"Yes I did" I said, confused.
"That means that you're over him!"
I frowned and Bob threw the remote control at Mikey.
"You moron, now you just reminded him!"
Mikey laughed, which made me a bit angry.
"Is this a joke to you?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.
"No... Of course not"
"Look me in the eyes and say that you're sorry for ruining-"
"Stop Gerard" he demanded and rolled his eyes.
"You dont care about this at all?"
"I care"
"Tell me what you care about"
"I care about you and Frank, dont ever doubt that, but I just think that you're exaggerating this whole thing"
"Who the hell is it that's exaggerating, Mikey?! I believe it was you who-"
"You two, shut the fuck up! I never thought that I would say this, but Gerard, go back to your room" Ray yelled furiously. I'd never seen him this mad before, and yet I'd known him for several years. I nodded, not able to speak and slowly started walking towards my room as glared at Mikey. Mikey gave me his middle finger so I spat on the wall, knowing that he would have to take it away before it leaves a mark. He's kinda like a prefectionist, at least when its about the apartment. I slammed the door behind me, but couldnt miss Bobs last comment.
"And they said that we were immature..."