My Miserable Romance
Stupid.
~Gerards POV~
"Are we gonna walk or take Brian's car?" Frank asked me and I gestured with my fingers that we should walk. He shrugged and we started walking towards the hospital that wasnt so far away anyway.
"How are you feeling about all this?" I asked. He shrugged again and we kept on walking in silence.
"What am I suppose to do when you die?" he asked suddenly.
"When you die?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.
"Well, you have all the symptoms..." he mumbled and looked at the buildings that we passed just to avoid my eyes.
"Tuberculosis is a treatable [word?] disease"
"But still"
"Wow, you make me feel so happy and positive" I growled.
"I'm just preparing myself" he murmured. How dare he victimize himself? I'm the one who's gonna die - he's suppose to comfort me and be the strong one here!
"You can go back to the hotel if you want" I said coldly. "I dont need your negative attitude right now. Go back and rest to get your headache away, I'm sure it's pure agony" I added the last five words with my voice dripping of sarcasm, referring to my own pain I was in.
He stopped and looked at me.
"Is this the part where I feel sorry for you and apologize for my `bad´ behaviour?" he growled back.
"All I'm asking for is for you to not talk like I'm gonna die anytime soon"
"But you are"
"Maybe, yes"
"Oh, let's face it, Ger-"
"Would you just leave me alone?!" I snarled.
"Fine! If you don't want me to come, I wont" he said fiercefully and threw his arms up in the air. "But don't come crawling back to me when you need a shoulder to cry on"
"Oh dont worry, I wont have to cry, cause I'm not dying"
"We'll see about that" he said with a mean voice but looked away in shame as he saw my shocked face. "Look, I didnt mean-"
"Oh, I'm sure you did... You want me to die, huh?"
"N-no!" he stuttered and reached out for my arm but I pushed him away. "Gerard, I wasnt-"
"Leave me alone" I hissed. "I'm serious. Go back to the hotel and stay the fuck away from me"
"But..."
"Now! Before I do something I'll regret" I said. He noticed that I were clenching my fists tightly so he turned on his heels and walked back to the hotel.
*
"So... You think you got tuberculosis?" the doctor asked with a bored voice. "Why's that?"
"Uhm. I'm coughing blood and I'm exhausted 24/7" I explained and glanced nervously at the needles he had on his little desk.
"Coughing blood, ey?" he asked, sounding a bit more interested now. "But before we state the obvious here, have you been under a lot of pressure lately?"
"Yeah, I guess" I said, thinking about the fire, DUI and the fact that I might carry a deadly disease.
"Okay..." he said and scribbled down something in his notebook. "What kind of pressure?"
"Well, I was trapped into a burning building and nearly died a few days ago... And I got caught driving under influence and-"
"Wait, go back to the burning building" the doctor said and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Did you swallow any smoke?"
"Yeah, loads"
"I see..." he said and walked up to me. "I'll have to ask you to open your mouth and say `Ah´, okay?"
I nodded and did what he said and he started digging around in my mouth with his fingers to look down my throat. He mumbled some random stuff to himself and then let go of me.
"You've got small scrapes and cuts in your throat, young man" he said and looked at me. "That's why you're bleading when you cough. The smoke ripped up the sensitive skin inside your throat"
"But the tiredness?"
"It's stress" he said and smiled as he saw my face slowly light up in a grin.
"No tuberculosis?"
"Nope!" he exclaimed and I got up to hug him.
"Oh thank god..." I said quietly to myself. "But the coughings? And the blood? Isnt there anything I can take to make that stop?"
"Actually, yes. Take two of these pills for three days and I can promise you that you that it'll pass" he said and handed me a small jar.
"Thank you so much" I smiled and shook his hand before walking out the door. Wow... I'm not sick! Frank and I fought with each other over nothing. Oh snap, now I have to get home and face him. With heavy steps, I walked back to the hotel but realized that Frank had the keys so I walked over to Mikeys room. I knocked and waited until he opened.
"Hey Gee" he said and gestured for me to walk inside.
"Hi... I have some news for y-" I stopped as I saw Bob, Ray and Frank be in here as well. Frank quickly turned his head away from me.
"Ah, you're here. Can you give me the keys to our hotel room so I can go and lie down?" I asked poisonously.
"Why's that?" he asked.
"Why's what?"
"Why do you need to lie down?"
"Cause I got some bad news when I was at the hospital" I lied and they all froze. Damn, I forgot that the others were in the room too. I just wanted to freak Frank out, not them.
"You... You got tuberc-" he started.
"Give me the keys" I snarled and he nervously threw them at me and I left the room. I knew it wasnt fair to lie to Ray, Mikey and Bob but there was nothing I could do now. But yet I hadnt lied. I got some bad news at the hospital... Apparently, I have cuts inside my throat, which might not be as bad as tuberculosis but still. I slammed the door shut behind me and I heard that they all started asking Frank about `what was up with Gee?´. Yeah, it's always me, it's never Franks fault. It's always me who messes up, who does the wrong thing but this time, it was him. For once.
"Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you before" a soft voice behind me said and I dropped the keys I had in my hand in surprise. I didnt hear him open Mikey's hotel door...
"I dont wanna talk about it" I said and bent down and took the keys.
"No, let me finish" the voice said as I started to fiddle to get the keys into the door. "And please turn around when I'm talking to you"
"What makes you think that you're worth listening to?" I asked coldly but turned around to look at my beloved boyfriend. He had his hands in his pockets and looked extremely nervous.
"Cause I have something very important to ask you"
"Yeah well, ask away but don't expect me to answer"
He closed his eyes, as to collect some courage and took a deep breath before opening his eyes.
"Okay... here it goes" he mumbled to himself.
He bit himself in the lip and all of a sudden got down on one knee, whilst staring down in the floor. It took him a few more seconds until he did the next step, which was to pull up a velvet box and with shaking hand, opening it.
"Gerard... Will you marry me?"
What the fuck is he doing?!
"No!" I exclaimed and quickly closed the small box with the beautiful, golden ring inside. "You can't... No!"
I opened the door and stormed in with him quickly following me.
"You're joking right? You wouldnt do that to me... No, you might be mean sometimes but you wouldnt do such a thing!" I muttered, more to myself than to him as I started digging around in my suitcases just to have something to do.
"What are you talking about?" he asked quietly with his voice shaking.
"Propose to me when you know, well, think that I'm dying" I said and glared at him. "What the hell were you thinking?!"
"I just thought that if you're dying it would be a good idea to get married... Shit, that didnt came out right! No, I didnt mean it like that!"
"We both know that what you just said is true" I growled. "You proposed cause you think that I'm dying"
"Wait... What?" he asked with wide eyes.
"That's right, I'm not dying"
"But you said-"
"Does it matter what I said?! You fucking proposed cause you felt sorry for me!" I yelled and he jumped away by surprise as I raised my voice.
"I felt sorry for myself, stupid, not for you! I dont wanna live without you!"
"Don't you dare call me stupid" I hissed and walked up to him. He looked scared out of his mind as I placed myself just a few inches away from him, probably thinking that I was about to start screaming again. "I'm sick of this"
"Sick of what?" he asked nervously and looked down at his hands, which was the only thing he could look out to avoid my eyes that were right infront of him.
"Sick of this, sick of us fighting, sick of you, sick of feeling submissive, sick of everything!"
"So what do you suggest?" he asked quietly, probably knowing the answer already.
"I'm not suggesting anything, I'm breaking up with you"
"Are we gonna walk or take Brian's car?" Frank asked me and I gestured with my fingers that we should walk. He shrugged and we started walking towards the hospital that wasnt so far away anyway.
"How are you feeling about all this?" I asked. He shrugged again and we kept on walking in silence.
"What am I suppose to do when you die?" he asked suddenly.
"When you die?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.
"Well, you have all the symptoms..." he mumbled and looked at the buildings that we passed just to avoid my eyes.
"Tuberculosis is a treatable [word?] disease"
"But still"
"Wow, you make me feel so happy and positive" I growled.
"I'm just preparing myself" he murmured. How dare he victimize himself? I'm the one who's gonna die - he's suppose to comfort me and be the strong one here!
"You can go back to the hotel if you want" I said coldly. "I dont need your negative attitude right now. Go back and rest to get your headache away, I'm sure it's pure agony" I added the last five words with my voice dripping of sarcasm, referring to my own pain I was in.
He stopped and looked at me.
"Is this the part where I feel sorry for you and apologize for my `bad´ behaviour?" he growled back.
"All I'm asking for is for you to not talk like I'm gonna die anytime soon"
"But you are"
"Maybe, yes"
"Oh, let's face it, Ger-"
"Would you just leave me alone?!" I snarled.
"Fine! If you don't want me to come, I wont" he said fiercefully and threw his arms up in the air. "But don't come crawling back to me when you need a shoulder to cry on"
"Oh dont worry, I wont have to cry, cause I'm not dying"
"We'll see about that" he said with a mean voice but looked away in shame as he saw my shocked face. "Look, I didnt mean-"
"Oh, I'm sure you did... You want me to die, huh?"
"N-no!" he stuttered and reached out for my arm but I pushed him away. "Gerard, I wasnt-"
"Leave me alone" I hissed. "I'm serious. Go back to the hotel and stay the fuck away from me"
"But..."
"Now! Before I do something I'll regret" I said. He noticed that I were clenching my fists tightly so he turned on his heels and walked back to the hotel.
*
"So... You think you got tuberculosis?" the doctor asked with a bored voice. "Why's that?"
"Uhm. I'm coughing blood and I'm exhausted 24/7" I explained and glanced nervously at the needles he had on his little desk.
"Coughing blood, ey?" he asked, sounding a bit more interested now. "But before we state the obvious here, have you been under a lot of pressure lately?"
"Yeah, I guess" I said, thinking about the fire, DUI and the fact that I might carry a deadly disease.
"Okay..." he said and scribbled down something in his notebook. "What kind of pressure?"
"Well, I was trapped into a burning building and nearly died a few days ago... And I got caught driving under influence and-"
"Wait, go back to the burning building" the doctor said and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Did you swallow any smoke?"
"Yeah, loads"
"I see..." he said and walked up to me. "I'll have to ask you to open your mouth and say `Ah´, okay?"
I nodded and did what he said and he started digging around in my mouth with his fingers to look down my throat. He mumbled some random stuff to himself and then let go of me.
"You've got small scrapes and cuts in your throat, young man" he said and looked at me. "That's why you're bleading when you cough. The smoke ripped up the sensitive skin inside your throat"
"But the tiredness?"
"It's stress" he said and smiled as he saw my face slowly light up in a grin.
"No tuberculosis?"
"Nope!" he exclaimed and I got up to hug him.
"Oh thank god..." I said quietly to myself. "But the coughings? And the blood? Isnt there anything I can take to make that stop?"
"Actually, yes. Take two of these pills for three days and I can promise you that you that it'll pass" he said and handed me a small jar.
"Thank you so much" I smiled and shook his hand before walking out the door. Wow... I'm not sick! Frank and I fought with each other over nothing. Oh snap, now I have to get home and face him. With heavy steps, I walked back to the hotel but realized that Frank had the keys so I walked over to Mikeys room. I knocked and waited until he opened.
"Hey Gee" he said and gestured for me to walk inside.
"Hi... I have some news for y-" I stopped as I saw Bob, Ray and Frank be in here as well. Frank quickly turned his head away from me.
"Ah, you're here. Can you give me the keys to our hotel room so I can go and lie down?" I asked poisonously.
"Why's that?" he asked.
"Why's what?"
"Why do you need to lie down?"
"Cause I got some bad news when I was at the hospital" I lied and they all froze. Damn, I forgot that the others were in the room too. I just wanted to freak Frank out, not them.
"You... You got tuberc-" he started.
"Give me the keys" I snarled and he nervously threw them at me and I left the room. I knew it wasnt fair to lie to Ray, Mikey and Bob but there was nothing I could do now. But yet I hadnt lied. I got some bad news at the hospital... Apparently, I have cuts inside my throat, which might not be as bad as tuberculosis but still. I slammed the door shut behind me and I heard that they all started asking Frank about `what was up with Gee?´. Yeah, it's always me, it's never Franks fault. It's always me who messes up, who does the wrong thing but this time, it was him. For once.
"Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you before" a soft voice behind me said and I dropped the keys I had in my hand in surprise. I didnt hear him open Mikey's hotel door...
"I dont wanna talk about it" I said and bent down and took the keys.
"No, let me finish" the voice said as I started to fiddle to get the keys into the door. "And please turn around when I'm talking to you"
"What makes you think that you're worth listening to?" I asked coldly but turned around to look at my beloved boyfriend. He had his hands in his pockets and looked extremely nervous.
"Cause I have something very important to ask you"
"Yeah well, ask away but don't expect me to answer"
He closed his eyes, as to collect some courage and took a deep breath before opening his eyes.
"Okay... here it goes" he mumbled to himself.
He bit himself in the lip and all of a sudden got down on one knee, whilst staring down in the floor. It took him a few more seconds until he did the next step, which was to pull up a velvet box and with shaking hand, opening it.
"Gerard... Will you marry me?"
What the fuck is he doing?!
"No!" I exclaimed and quickly closed the small box with the beautiful, golden ring inside. "You can't... No!"
I opened the door and stormed in with him quickly following me.
"You're joking right? You wouldnt do that to me... No, you might be mean sometimes but you wouldnt do such a thing!" I muttered, more to myself than to him as I started digging around in my suitcases just to have something to do.
"What are you talking about?" he asked quietly with his voice shaking.
"Propose to me when you know, well, think that I'm dying" I said and glared at him. "What the hell were you thinking?!"
"I just thought that if you're dying it would be a good idea to get married... Shit, that didnt came out right! No, I didnt mean it like that!"
"We both know that what you just said is true" I growled. "You proposed cause you think that I'm dying"
"Wait... What?" he asked with wide eyes.
"That's right, I'm not dying"
"But you said-"
"Does it matter what I said?! You fucking proposed cause you felt sorry for me!" I yelled and he jumped away by surprise as I raised my voice.
"I felt sorry for myself, stupid, not for you! I dont wanna live without you!"
"Don't you dare call me stupid" I hissed and walked up to him. He looked scared out of his mind as I placed myself just a few inches away from him, probably thinking that I was about to start screaming again. "I'm sick of this"
"Sick of what?" he asked nervously and looked down at his hands, which was the only thing he could look out to avoid my eyes that were right infront of him.
"Sick of this, sick of us fighting, sick of you, sick of feeling submissive, sick of everything!"
"So what do you suggest?" he asked quietly, probably knowing the answer already.
"I'm not suggesting anything, I'm breaking up with you"