My Miserable Romance

“I heard you had stopped drinking” Lisa said after a few minutes and Gerard’s head shot up.
“Yeah” he said with a suspicious look.
“How’s that going for you?”
“Great. I’ve been sober for almost a year now”

Wait, what did I miss? They’re talking… Without insulting each other!

“Frank forced you, didn’t he?” Lisa asked. “I remember how mad he got when I got home from a party, pissed out of my mind…”
“Yeah he did, and I’m glad he did” Gerard said.
“So you haven’t had one single drop for a year?” she asked and maybe I’m just being weird, but it feels like this is gonna lead to something bad…
“Uh, yes” Gerard answered, “A long time ago, but I got caught for DUI and shit… But I’m clean now”
“You better search through his stuff, Frank… You never know with alcoholics” Lisa said, turning to me, with a slight smirk and I saw Gerard’s fist turning into a pale white color as he clutched it tightly.
“Lisa…” I pleaded. “Just let it go, okay? He doesn’t drink anymore, I know that”
“Just saying that you shouldn’t trust a former alcoholic” she said evasively.
“You don’t believe that he has stopped?” I asked, slightly confused. It’s a known fact that Gerard have given up on the alcohol, so when she said this, I wasn’t sure if she was just faking or if she really didn’t believe it.
“Why should I? Alcoholics have a bad temper… And look at your fiancées face right now” she said and I turned to look at Gerard, whos face was white and his lips not even visible as he pressed them together in anger. He stared at Lisa like she was crazy, looking furious. “See what I mean?”
“That doesn’t prove anything, Lisa” I smiled. “Can we just drop this? I know he doesn’t drink anymore”
“Fine” she said, but Gerard looked just as angry as he did before.
“Are you calling me a liar?” he growled, still staring at her.
“Or an alcoholic, you can choose” Lisa smirked.
“You son of a-!”
“Alright, that’s it!” I yelled, holding Gerard back so he wouldn’t throw himself at Lisa. “Lisa, I’ll call you later, I need to talk to Gerard”
“But-“
“Alone” I said and she sighed, getting up from the table.
“Don’t bother calling me; I won’t come to the wedding anyway, so there’s no point in trying to meet me again, alright?” she said before leaving the kitchen. I gave Gerard a glare to let him know that if he followed me and made things even worse, I would skin him alive and then ran after Lisa.

“Why won’t you come to the wedding?” I asked just as she was about to close the door after her.
“Not when he’s there” she said, mentioning at the kitchen. “We can’t get along, and I don’t wanna be the one to ruin your big day, Frank.”
“But that didn’t stop you before!”
She froze for a second, then walking back in and placed herself in front of me.
“I lied to you” she said and her eyes fell down to look at the floor,
“Lied about what?”
“That I… Wait, before I say anything…” she began, and then gave me a long hug. “Don’t hate me, but I lied to you, I still love you”
“Then you better get the hell out of here” I heard Gerard growl behind me and she quickly pulled away from me and out the door.
“I will… Frank, don’t call, ‘cause I won’t come to the wedding and I’m sure you don’t want me there now either” She said and closed the door behind her.
But… Wait… What did I miss? She can’t just change her mind like that! I knew she wanted me back before too, but I still wanted her at the wedding, so why wouldn’t I want that now? Maybe it’s because she and Gerard would fight… and that she really doesn’t want to ruin our wedding day. But I need her there.

“You alright?” Gerard asked carefully from behind me.
“Yep. I feel awesome” I muttered and walked past him into the living room. “Not only did I loose her completely, I actually let her make me believe that she didn’t want me back… And then she says that she lied, do you know what a slap in the face that was? And you… You didn’t even try! Nor did she, but I expected a lot more from you. I asked, practically begged you to be nice, but no!”
“Frankie-“ he started, but I put my hand up in the air.
“No! You’re gonna go straight to Lisa and tell her you’re sorry. I don’t care if you’re sorry or not, but that what you’re gonna do” I continued. He looked at me for a second, just standing silently.
“No. I don’t want to” he said, shaking his head.
“I do not care. Now, go!”
“No” he said simply and sat down on the couch. “I won’t. I don’t like her and she doesn’t like me, why can’t you accept that?”
“You just hate her because she’s my ex!”
“Let me remind you that I hated her before we got together, even before I started to have feelings for you” he said calmly. I was practically boiling with anger and all he did was to sit on the couch, looking like we were talking about the weather.
“So why can’t you get along with her?!” I realized that I was almost screaming now, so I lowered my voice. “I asked you to be nice, to not fight with her, but you didn’t even try!”
“This is not about you!” he exclaimed, but still not showing any form of anger over the fact that I was yelling at him. “Accept that Lisa and I don’t like each other. You’re not the center of the Earth, Frankie”
“You’re just mad ‘cause she called you an alcoholic!”

Something flashed in his eyes, but it disappeared as fast as it had come.
“Why do you think I would be mad? You think I have a reason to even take her seriously about that?”
It felt so tempting to just throw that in his face, to tell him that maybe she had a point, that he still drank when I didn’t see, but I didn’t. That would be like crossing the line.
“No, but you could’ve tried harder!” I said instead.
“Did you not notice all her insults about me?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, still looking so god damn innocent.
“Of course I did” I answered.
“So why are you yelling at me for?”
“Well… I could’ve yelled at her,” I said, raising my voice at every word. “But thanks to you, she left!”
“No, you told her to go”
“But it’s your fault that she’s not coming to the wedding”
“I can live with that… I don’t want her there anyway” he smiled, “But I heard what she said, she still had feelings for you, so I think she left because of you”
“So everything’s my fault now?”
“Pretty much, yeah. But don’t worry, I forgive you”
I stared at him in disbelief, but then realized that he was right. I’d been trying to force them into being friends, even though I knew they hated each other and now I was blaming Gerard that it didn’t work. And maybe this was for the best, now they won’t fight at the wedding… But she won’t be there at all.

“You know I’m right” he said when I’d been standing quietly for two minutes, thinking. “But you won’t admit it, so I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll be at Mikey’s and when you’re ready to apologize, you can call, alright?”

Frustration washed over me as he sat so calmly in the couch, waiting for me to answer; but I didn’t wanna answer, I didn’t wanna admit that he was right, I was too mad.
“Or maybe your too pride to say you’re sorry?” he asked, like he could read my mind. I still didn’t answer. “You’re looking at me like I’m insane. Is it so hard for you to understand that I didn’t do anything wrong this time?”
“No” I said and tore my eyes off of him to look at the floor. “I’m sorry, alright?”
“For?” he pushed.
“For forcing you to see Lisa” I said with a sigh.
“And…?”
“And for saying that it was your fault when it didn’t work out” I said, almost shyly with no intent of actually looking at him when I apologized. It’s a lot easier to say I’m sorry if we’re both crying, or even screaming at each other, but not like this. I didn’t like his calmness; I wanted him to scream at me.
“And…?”
“And…” I repeated, without knowing what he was looking for. I stood silent for a couple of seconds and then groaned. I had done something wrong, but I didn’t even know what; I keep letting people down all the time. “And…”
He gave me a look that told me he wanted me to continue, but I really didn’t know what to apologize for.
“And I’m sorry for not knowing what you want me to say” I said quietly and took a step back.
“I’ll be in the kitchen”
I turned around and started to walk when I heard his voice behind me.

“You don’t know what you have to apologize for?”
I sighed, closing my eyes and then turned around to look at him again. He was still sitting in the couch with his legs casually on the coffee table, but now, he was smiling.
“Nope, but if you’ll tell me, I will apologize for it too” I said and he raised his eyebrow at me.
“Well, if I do that, how would I know that you’re honestly sorry?”
“I… I don’t know” I stammered. He was making me really nervous now, his smile was like a bomb that would explode and I was sure that it was just a matter of seconds before he would start yelling at me for being the worst fiancé ever.
“Let me explain to you then,” he said, still with that dangerous smile. “You’re standing in the middle of the room, looking very confused and scared… You with me?”
“Yeah” I answered even though I didn’t get the point.
“And I’m sitting here all alone” he continued, gesturing at the couch. “How’s that?”
“I don’t understand” I said, feeling more confused than ever. He rolled his eyes.
“Just come over”
“To you?”
“Yes, to me”
“Why?” I asked suspiciously as I walked closer to the couch.
“’Cause you look so cute when you’re confused” He grinned and my brained finally realized what he was trying to say.
“Oh…” I said slowly, “And I’m sorry for not sitting down with you sooner”
“Good boy” he grinned as I sat down next to him. “You know what?”
“No?”
“I forgive you… For everything”
“For the thing with Lisa too?” I asked and he nodded. “So you’re not mad?”
“Mad at you? No” he laughed. “I’m just mad at Lisa”
I nodded with a feeling of relief washing over me.
“Wait… Can you promise that you’re not mad at me?”

Maybe he was still messing around, wanting to trick me to feel safe with him before this calmness of his would drop.
“Come here” he said instead of answering, waving with one hand to make me come closer to him. I came closer, expecting the worst, but all he did was to wrap his arm around my waist.
“I promise, alright? Don’t worry about it. You apologized, even though I had to force you, and I forgave you. Lisa’s gone forever whether you like it or not and I am not gonna be mad at you over your ex girlfriend, you got that?”
“You are mad at me, you just won’t admit it” I said, leaning my head to rest on his shoulder.
“You keep believing that” he smirked and let his arm that had been around my neck slid down around my waist, bringing me even closer. “I’m sorry about all this, though. I really wanted to do this for you, but you know… I can take a lot of shit from people without caring, but with her… It’s like all I can think about is to not let her insult me without insulting her back. I hate her, that’s the only way I can describe my feelings for her”
“Gee, you’re hurting me!” I cried out as his hand had taken a painfully hard grip onto my arm.
He looked at me in confusion before realizing that his talk about Lisa had made him so angry that he reacted like this and quickly let go.
“Sorry!” he said regretfully and gently stroked my arm with his fingertips. I smiled to let him know I was fine and didn’t need to be fussed over, and he smiled back, still stroking my arm though. I let my eyes rest on his face, looking at all the small wrinkles and features that made him so beautiful, but he started to look nervous.

“Why are you staring at me?” he asked.
“I’m looking for your third scar” I said with a slight laugh as he rolled his eyes.
“You won’t find it”
“Sure I will. Just give me some time”
“Or I can just tell you where it-“
“No!” I yelled and he raised his eyebrow at me. “Sorry, but I wanna find it”
“Fine” he shrugged. “But I don’t want you staring at my face. You’re making me nervous”
“I won’t” I smiled, moving closer to him to rest my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, stroking my back as if he was comforting me and even though I wasn’t sad or needed to be comforted, it felt good. I had been so mad at him, just to realize that he was the one to be mad, but he wasn’t. He never stops surprising me...