My Miserable Romance

I stepped out of the car with Frank’s lifeless body in my arms and had to sick-sack through the endless lines of cars which were parked in the middle of the street, to get to the bus. Luckily, the bus that would take me to the hospital arrived just when I got there and I quickly jumped on board. People were staring at me – and I couldn’t blame them; I was holding a man covered in blood in my arms. With certain difficulty, I paid the bus driver and then stumbled back in the bus.

There was no available seats and my arms were getting numb, but I really couldn’t bother asking someone to get up, so I simply walked over to the space where the perambulators where supposed to be and pressed Frank up between myself and the bus window. It probably looked pretty kinky, but I didn’t even think about that. After a few tries of putting his limp legs around my waist, I gave up when they simply just fell lifelessly. Now, when all I could do was to wait for the bus to arrive at the hospital, I felt more helpless than ever and I could feel how my throat was starting to thicken. I closed my eyes, leaning my head closer to his and gave his lips a kiss. For a second, it looked as if his eyes were moving behind the eyelids, but when I looked closer, I saw nothing.

More and more blood was pumping out of his arm and I was seriously started to worry. How deep did the scissor go? The jacket was long gone, so I needed something else to press against the wound, but had nothing. I spotted an old lady sitting in a seat with at least five scarf’s hanging around her scrawny neck and decided to at least ask her. I lifted up Frank a bit more, keeping him in place with my hips that I pressed against his, as I leaned over to the lady.

“Excuse me, m’am…” I said in a weak, hoarse voice.
“Yes?” she asked slowly, looking conceited.
“May I borrow one of your scarfs? Please, my fiancé’s bleeding and-“
“No” she said and turned her head away to look out of the window. Dumbstrucked, I stared at her with my mouth open until I had to lean back to Frank, who had almost slipped away from me and was dangerously close to fall. I, who had started to shake, knew that I wouldn’t be able to support him for much longer, so I grabbed his uninjured arm and put my other arm around his back, gently lowering his body to the floor. Looking around me desperately, I couldn’t believe how calm everyone was. Couldn’t they see I needed help? Could they tell that we were together, gay? But how? The only one that knew for sure was the old lady… And oh damn, the kiss. They probably saw me kissing him. I sighed and sat down on the floor, hugging Frank as hard as I could so he wouldn’t just collapse on the floor. Laughter was filling my ears. Without looking up, I knew they were laughing at me, at Frank, at our helplessness and it both pissed me off and made me terrified. The blood from Frank’s arm had stopped pouring now, thank god, and instead, a small pool of blood had formed where we sat. Not one of those dramatic movie scenes where there’s blood everywhere, but enough to make me feel nauseas and quite scared.

“Ow…” Frank moaned and I nearly twisted my neck when I turned to look at him, lying in my lap.
“Frank!” I exclaimed happily, but my heart fell immediately when his eyes closed again. “No, honey, come on…”
“Where are we?” he asked, a faint whisper and it was hard to hear through the noisy bus. His eyes were still closed, but at least he was talking.
“I’m…” I started, but realized that he had once again slipped away from me. I sighed heavily, then my head shot up when I noticed the white building outside the opposite window. The hospital. My body had no strength left, I was going on pure adrenaline, but apparently that was enough to get both Frank and myself up from the floor. I stumbled up to the bus doors, almost dragging Frank after me.

“Sorry sir, but do you need help?” a voice behind me asked.
“Yes… Yes” I choked out and saw a pair of arms snake around Frank’s chest, hauling him up so I wouldn’t drop him. “Thank you… Thank you so much”
“No problem. I can’t follow you to the hospital, I have to go and meet my sister. Will you be alright?”
I looked up and saw the most gorgeous man standing before me, brown, long hair falling perfectly in his face with the darkest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. His face looked as if it had been copied out of a shampoo commercial and I felt a violent pang of guilt hit me when I remembered Frank in my arms.
“Yeah. Thanks again” I stuttered, scooped up Frank in my arms, gave the man a smile and walked off. Frank’s head was resting on my shoulder and occasionally I could hear him mumbled stuff in my ear, random words, which just spurred me to walk faster. Sure, Frank was light and I wasn’t exactly weak, and I’ve carried him before, but I’ve had him in my arms for at least ten minutes now and it’s really taking out its right…

Finally, I reached the hospital, stumbling into the waiting room. The following things went fast; too fast for me to keep up with. A doctor threw a quick look at me, realizing I needed help and ran up to me. Before I knew it, he had called for a stretcher, placed Frank on it and they were gone. Exhausted, I slumped down into a chair in the waiting room and tried to pull myself together, trying to get a grip around what had just happened and what’s in fact is happening, but it was impossible. I had blood on my clothes and knew perfectly well that I would leave stains on the chair, but who cares…

“Gerard!” a voice called and I didn’t bother to turn around. It was Mikey, and by the sound if it, he’d been running. “Hey, Gee?”
He reached me a few second later, embracing me into a tight hug before pulling away to look at me. “Are you alright? I mean… Except for all this…”
“How much blood do you have to loose to be in serious danger?” I asked absentmindedly, staring at the opposite wall.
“I don’t know, Gee. Do you want me to get a nurse for you?”
“What? No… I’m fine. But he lost so much blood, Bob…”
“Mikey”
“Huh?”
“It’s Mikey, not Bob. Gerard, seriously, are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry…” I mumbled, burying my head in my hands. “Can you get me some water?”
“Sure, just stay right here” he said, gesturing me with his hands to stay, like I was a dog and left. My mind wouldn’t concentrate, it was still stuck at the bus, stuck on the people’s faces, who wouldn’t help me, help Frank. Mikey returned a few minutes later with a glass of water with ice-cubes in. “Here, drink this… I talked to the nurse and she thinks you’re just in shock”
“Where are the guys?” I asked, taking a sip of the water and immediately felt better. The dull pain in my stomach; the worry, wouldn’t go away, but at least I could think clearer.
“They’re parking the cars. I jumped out to go and see if you’d arrived yet” he said and sat down in a chair next to me, putting an arm around my neck. “He’ll be fine. He’s been though much worse things… Remember when he knocked himself out with his guitar? The doctors said he would suffer from chronic headaches for the rest of his life, but he got away with a concussion”
“Yeah, I remember that… But he can’t be lucky every time” I said and Mikey frowned. “I’m sorry… I know I should be positive. You don’t have to comfort me; he’s your best friend too”
“No, you’ve every right to be sad. You stand closer to him than I’ve ever done. And by the way, he can’t have lost a lot of blood anyway… How long’ve he been bleeding?”
“Half an hour, maybe, I don’t know” I said with a sigh and felt Mikeys arm massage my shoulder. “He’s gonna be okay, right?”
“Of course…” Mikey smiled, “Ah, here comes the rest”
Bob, Ray, Lucy, Annie and Bella came running up to us, all looking sad but still curious. Or maybe just worried.
“How is he?” Ray asked as soon as they reached us. “Have they said anything?”
“No, they haven’t” Mikey said, “But we’re sure he’s fine…”
“I’m gonna go and talk to one of the nurses” I announced and rose from my seat. “You need anything?”
They all shook their heads so I walked off to find a nurse. I soon spotted one standing behind the counter, filling in some papers.

“Excuse me, miss?” I said and she, with an annoyed face, looked up.
“Yes?”
“Do you know anything about Frank Iero’s condition?”
“No” she said simply.
“But can’t you go and-“
“Sir, I have work to do. If you want anything, please go and talk to someone else”
Without answering, I walked back to the guys.
“What did they say?”
“They told me to fuck off, but with other words” I explained, which at least lightened up all of our moods a bit.

We’d been waiting for god knows how long and I was really starting to worry. If everything was fine, why didn’t they just tell us? There has to be something wrong… For the fifth time, I got up from my chair and made my way to the counter. The last couple of times, it had been the same lady standing behind it, filling in papers, but this time I saw it was someone else, someone much younger.

“Hi, is there any news about Mr. Frank Iero?” I asked and the nurse looked up at me.
“Let me see” she said, giving me curious look before she dived down under the counter. “Uh, yes, I have” she said as she came up. “He’s stabile. He had blood loss, but nothing serious”
“But if you knew he was fine, why didn’t anyone tell us?” I asked and the nurse gestured at the full waiting room.
“Plane crash… We’ve had a busy day” she said apologetically.
“So, can I go and see him?” I asked.
“No, I’m sorry…” she said, and leaned closer. “But just because you rock, I’ll tell you something; his room number is 201. But please don’t wake him up; I’ll lose my job if they found out”
It wasn’t until now I’d noticed the My Chemical Romance wristband she was wearing and I smiled at her.
“Thank you so much. And don’t worry, I’ll be quiet” I said and gave her a hug over the counter. “You’re without a doubt the nicest person I’ve met today”
She beamed as I walked away, and at first I just wanted to go and see him as soon as possible, but realized that the guys deserved to know.

“He’s in 201” I said quickly to them and then raced off to his room. I found it and as quietly as I could, I opened the door. He was lying in a hospital bed with the covers up to his chest, looking so fragile and delicate that I almost whimpered out loud.

“I’m not allowed to wake you up” I whispered as I walked up to him. “So I won’t, even though I want to”
The door opened up behind me and I saw the guys walk inside. I greeted them with a faint smile and then pulled up a chair next to Frank’s bed, where I was planning to sit until he will wake up.
“We’re not supposed to be in here. The nurse I talked to was a fan, so she helped me” I explained to the guys, who nodded understandably. “So all we can do is wait for him to wake up”
“I’ll go and get some coffee… Who wants?” Bob asked, memorizing who wanted what and then left. Mikey, Ray, Annie, Lucy and Bella sat down across the room in the two couches, talking while I sat alone with Frank. I didn’t dare to touch him in fear of waking him up; instead I just looked at him. A tube with red liquid in it was attached to a blood bag and to his arm and he was paler than before. Three hours passed and the room was getting darker and darker. My back was starting to ache from leaning on his bed, but didn’t feel like changing position.

“Gee? Go and lie down… He won’t wake up faster just because you’re sitting next to him” Ray said softly, but I shook my head and he gave up. What if he’s in a coma…? But no, they would’ve told us. We could’ve been home, watching tv together, or talking, but no, we were stuck in a friggin’ hospital. It was so tempting to just take his hand in mine, to wake him up and see if everything was okay with him, but I knew he needed to rest. I tore my eyes off of his hand, so I wouldn’t do anything stupid and instead looked at his face. Once again, I got the tempting feeling of wanting to touch him, wanting to brush away the hair from his face and if Bella wouldn’t have coughed just then, I would’ve. The clock passed midnight and about 2am, Mikey came up to me.
“Gerard, come on” he demanded, “You need to sleep”
“I can’t leave him” I mumbled. “I don’t want him to wake up and think that he’s alone”
“I can sit with him, but you won’t be able to walk tomorrow if you don’t stop crouching like that”
“Promise not to leave him?”
“Promise”
“And do you promise to wake me up when he wakes up?”
“Promise” Mikey said with a smile, then gave me a gentle push off the chair. “Go”
“Fine…” I said, allowing Mikey to take over my place and walked over to the couches. As soon as my body was lying comfortable, I fell asleep.

“Fuck… My head hurts”
“Oh great, you’re awake!”
“What happened?”
“You don’t remember?”
“I remember the old man with the scissor… And that Gee and I got thrown out… Where’s Gee?”
“He’s asleep, I sent him off. He has been sitting next to you for like… five hours. You want me to wake him up?”
“No, let him sleep… Wait, where am I?”
“The hospital. You passed out; Gerard had to take the bus to get you here”
“Bus? Why didn’t we go in the car?”
“Traffic lines and shit… You have to talk to Gerard about this, ‘cause I don’t know what happened after he’d left the car”

It took me some time to realize that they were talking about me and that Frank was awake, but as soon as my brain took in the new information, I jolted up from the couch.
“Looks like he’s awake” I heard someone laugh, but I couldn’t see who it was. The room was pitch black and I had to feel my way up to Frank’s bed. Apparently, they could see me; their eyes were use to the darkness. I reached the bed and felt a cold hand on mine.
“I’ll be uh, over there” Mikey mumbled from my left and I heard him stumble over to the couches, leaving me and Frank alone.
“How do you feel?” I asked, sitting down on the small space that was left of his bed. He quickly wriggled away so I could lie down next to him, so I did.
“Okay, I guess… Got a headache though, and my arm hurts” he said quietly so the guys wouldn’t wake up. I didn’t know he was lying so close; his mouth was practically touching my ear and I jumped up a bit by surprise.
“Sorry, I just can’t see a shit” I laughed. “You know what I’ve learned today?”
“Never trust a tailor?”
“No” I grinned. “That the world is insane…”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah… It was so bizarre you know, I was stuck on that bus with you on the way to the hospital and no one helped me”
“Did you need help then?”
“Well yeah. You were bleeding and I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t until I got out of the bus that someone helped me…” I said and felt the same pang of guilt when I remembered the good looking man. Sighing, I cuddled up against him, burying my face into his neck even though I didn’t even deserve to touch him.
“Something wrong, baby?” he whispered in my ear.
“I was so horrible, Frankie…” I mumbled against his skin.
“Don’t worry about it, Gee, I would’ve lost my temper too if no one would’ve cared that one of my friends were hurt…”
“It’s not that, there was this man, the man that helped me, I mean, I didn’t do anything, but-“
“Gee?”
“Yeah?”
“What did you do?” he asked and I could clearly hear the panic in his voice.
“Nothing, nothing…” I assured him. “I had you in my arms, not that I would’ve done anything if you hadn’t been there… God, now it just sounds really bad, I just thought he was good looking, that’s all”
“That’s all? You thought he was good looking?”
“Yeah…”
“God, you scared me” he laughed. “I got this weird image of you and some Brad Pitt-copy fucking around on a bus while I lay on the floor, bleeding to death… Why did you tell me this?”
“I don’t know. Just felt like it”
“You felt like telling me you saw a good looking man?” he laughed and gave me a one-armed hug. “God, I love you”
“I love God, too” I giggled, “You want me to stay here? I can go and sleep with the guys if you want”
“Stay” he said and placed a hand on my hip and adjusted himself so he was lying on his side. I felt his cold lips again mine and silently wondered if it was the blood loss that had made him so cold. His tongue carefully slid over my bottom lip, pleading to be let in, so I allowed him. All my worries just washed away during the kiss, as if it had never happened in the first place.
“Are you cold?” I asked, breaking away from the kiss for two seconds to ask and then once again let my tongue caress his.
“Not anymore” he mumbled and I placed one hand on the back of his neck, slowly pulling away from his mouth. “I guess I have to thank you… For saving my life”
“I didn’t save your life”
“But Mikey said you all were stuck in a traffic jam and that’s why you had to take the bus here… So basically, you saved my life”
“Maybe I did…” I laughed, “But don’t thank me for it. This’ll sound really cheesy, but you’re saving my life every day by just being there”
“You’re right, that was really cheesy”
“I know” I grinned, “You need to sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning”
“Gee, it is morning”
“It is?” Oh, it’s 6am… “But it’s still dark, so I say it’s still night. Good night”
“Nighty nighty…” he laughed and put his head next to mine on the pillow, his face so close to mine I could feel his lips against my own again. Smiling, I pouted with my lips to kiss him and heard him giggle.