Status: Working on it!
Warped Vision
Introduction
I pulled my suitcase from the back of my closet and looked down on it with a huge smile on my face, the happiest I had been in a long time. Sleeping with Sirens blared from my speakers in my room as I threw the bag onto my bed and began pulling clothes from my drawers and tossing them inside. I danced to My Nickle Ain't Worth Your Dime happily, nearly screaming the lyrics and not even thinking about anything other than the perfect three months I had ahead of me starting the next day. It hadn't even set in yet that I was going actually going to experience the wonderful event myself, so there was definitely a question of how excited I was going to be once it actually began. Would I ever be able to fathom that I was going to be on Warped Tour with my brother for the entire tour?
I could remember the situation I had been in only weeks before so clearly, the situation that had caused this to be in the first place. I was on the bathroom floor, screaming, sobbing and gripping a razor in my hand. Alex had come home just in time, bursting in and holding me in his arms like a child. I cried into his shoulder, shaking as he asked me what was wrong.
“I can't do this anymore, Alex.” I meekly said, lifting my head up from his shirt. He looked down on me sympathetically, his eyes urging me to continue, “I can't deal with them anymore.”
I had been referring to my “friends.” People who had once been so great to me, but were turning into narcissistic bastards. They treated me like I was incapable of doing anything myself, and like I didn't know anything. They corrected everything I did, and yelled at me as they did so. I had experienced this so much when I was younger from my parents, peers, and teachers, and it hurt to be going back to it.
On top of that, my “friends” had petty problems of their own, petty problems which weren't mine that they were involving me in. Petty problems that they were almost blaming me for. I had experienced this the entire school year, and it increasingly got worse as the year went on. It was summer now but I was still allowing them to be present in my life, and I felt like I was being suffocated by them. The problem, however, was that they were the only people in my life that I could talk to. Even though they belittled what I had going on in my mind, they were still people to tell things to. If I kicked them out of my life, I basically had no one.
Alex knew all of this, me having complained to him on multiple occasions, and he bent down to kiss my forehead before speaking gently, “Then don't deal with them anymore.”
This had only made me cry harder, moving around violently in his arms, “But then I'll have no one, Alex! You'll be gone on tour in a few weeks, and I'll be here with nothing to do but wallow in the fact that I'm not good enough to have friends that treat me with respect.”
“Then come with me.” He spoke quickly, yet gently, without thinking. I calmed down as he said this, but was still confused. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, looking as if he was full of pride for finding a solution, “Yeah, yeah we have an extra bunk and the boys won't mind, they all love you. You can just hang out there, and meet people every day. It would be the best thing for you, don't you think? You want to get away from here and that is how you will do it.”
Still feeling weak and a few tears still falling slowly, I nodded as a small smile formed on my face. Alex smiled too and picked me up to carry me into my room. I fell asleep soundly and without worry that night, relieved that I would finally escape from this, finally have something to look forward to.
The sad, yet happy memory was erased from my mind quickly as I heard someone open my door and turn off my music. I whipped around to see that it was Alex and his best friend, Jack, and smiled even wider.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” I dropped the shirt I was holding into my suitcase and ran to give my brother a big hug, something I felt like I had been doing nearly every time I saw him. He deserved it though, for giving me this opportunity.
“Are you ready for this!?” Jack spoke up excitedly as I ran to give him a hug as well.
I grinned up at him, “Oh, I am so ready.”
“You don't look ready,” Alex laughed, looking at my suitcase stuffed with unfolded clothes. He picked up a sweater and looked at it with a face of disapproval, “Have you even worn this once since you were like, 12? On Christmas?”
“I'm excited, and not paying attention, okay?” I grabbed it from him and returned it to my dresser, grabbing more band tees and throwing them to Alex to put into my bag. I saw Jack watching with an amused smirk on his face from the corner of my eye and before he knew it, a shirt was coming his way too. He picked it up off the ground and held it in front of him.
“Hey look! All Time Low! Those guys rock, but can you tell me all the band members' names, every album they've ever made, and at least two songs off of each album?” I rolled my eyes at him and took the shirt back, throwing it to Alex this time. Jack scoffed, “I bet you're not even a real fan and only think they're cute. You probably think Rian is spelled with a y. How typical.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and he returned the favor as I turned back to my dresser and opened another drawer, pulling out lots of shorts and a couple pairs of distressed jeans. This time, Alex came and got them himself. “Is that everything?” He asked, taking the pile and stuffing them into the full suitcase. He pushed the cover of it down as hard as he could and surprisingly, was successful in zipping it up.
I nodded at him with a small smile of gratitude, “I have to get a couple pair of shoes and my makeup and stuff into another bag, but I can do that.”
“Okay,” He wrapped an arm around me and gave me a kiss on the top of my head, “Get to bed early and don't think about the trip too much, or you won't be able to sleep. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow.” He waved goodbye, and with that, he and Jack were out the door, probably to pack more of the endless gear they need to play live. After all this time, I still couldn't believe how I was acknowledging all of this, packing and everything, and still not able to believe that I was going to be on Warped Tour, away from everything for three...whole...months.
I could remember the situation I had been in only weeks before so clearly, the situation that had caused this to be in the first place. I was on the bathroom floor, screaming, sobbing and gripping a razor in my hand. Alex had come home just in time, bursting in and holding me in his arms like a child. I cried into his shoulder, shaking as he asked me what was wrong.
“I can't do this anymore, Alex.” I meekly said, lifting my head up from his shirt. He looked down on me sympathetically, his eyes urging me to continue, “I can't deal with them anymore.”
I had been referring to my “friends.” People who had once been so great to me, but were turning into narcissistic bastards. They treated me like I was incapable of doing anything myself, and like I didn't know anything. They corrected everything I did, and yelled at me as they did so. I had experienced this so much when I was younger from my parents, peers, and teachers, and it hurt to be going back to it.
On top of that, my “friends” had petty problems of their own, petty problems which weren't mine that they were involving me in. Petty problems that they were almost blaming me for. I had experienced this the entire school year, and it increasingly got worse as the year went on. It was summer now but I was still allowing them to be present in my life, and I felt like I was being suffocated by them. The problem, however, was that they were the only people in my life that I could talk to. Even though they belittled what I had going on in my mind, they were still people to tell things to. If I kicked them out of my life, I basically had no one.
Alex knew all of this, me having complained to him on multiple occasions, and he bent down to kiss my forehead before speaking gently, “Then don't deal with them anymore.”
This had only made me cry harder, moving around violently in his arms, “But then I'll have no one, Alex! You'll be gone on tour in a few weeks, and I'll be here with nothing to do but wallow in the fact that I'm not good enough to have friends that treat me with respect.”
“Then come with me.” He spoke quickly, yet gently, without thinking. I calmed down as he said this, but was still confused. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, looking as if he was full of pride for finding a solution, “Yeah, yeah we have an extra bunk and the boys won't mind, they all love you. You can just hang out there, and meet people every day. It would be the best thing for you, don't you think? You want to get away from here and that is how you will do it.”
Still feeling weak and a few tears still falling slowly, I nodded as a small smile formed on my face. Alex smiled too and picked me up to carry me into my room. I fell asleep soundly and without worry that night, relieved that I would finally escape from this, finally have something to look forward to.
The sad, yet happy memory was erased from my mind quickly as I heard someone open my door and turn off my music. I whipped around to see that it was Alex and his best friend, Jack, and smiled even wider.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” I dropped the shirt I was holding into my suitcase and ran to give my brother a big hug, something I felt like I had been doing nearly every time I saw him. He deserved it though, for giving me this opportunity.
“Are you ready for this!?” Jack spoke up excitedly as I ran to give him a hug as well.
I grinned up at him, “Oh, I am so ready.”
“You don't look ready,” Alex laughed, looking at my suitcase stuffed with unfolded clothes. He picked up a sweater and looked at it with a face of disapproval, “Have you even worn this once since you were like, 12? On Christmas?”
“I'm excited, and not paying attention, okay?” I grabbed it from him and returned it to my dresser, grabbing more band tees and throwing them to Alex to put into my bag. I saw Jack watching with an amused smirk on his face from the corner of my eye and before he knew it, a shirt was coming his way too. He picked it up off the ground and held it in front of him.
“Hey look! All Time Low! Those guys rock, but can you tell me all the band members' names, every album they've ever made, and at least two songs off of each album?” I rolled my eyes at him and took the shirt back, throwing it to Alex this time. Jack scoffed, “I bet you're not even a real fan and only think they're cute. You probably think Rian is spelled with a y. How typical.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and he returned the favor as I turned back to my dresser and opened another drawer, pulling out lots of shorts and a couple pairs of distressed jeans. This time, Alex came and got them himself. “Is that everything?” He asked, taking the pile and stuffing them into the full suitcase. He pushed the cover of it down as hard as he could and surprisingly, was successful in zipping it up.
I nodded at him with a small smile of gratitude, “I have to get a couple pair of shoes and my makeup and stuff into another bag, but I can do that.”
“Okay,” He wrapped an arm around me and gave me a kiss on the top of my head, “Get to bed early and don't think about the trip too much, or you won't be able to sleep. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow.” He waved goodbye, and with that, he and Jack were out the door, probably to pack more of the endless gear they need to play live. After all this time, I still couldn't believe how I was acknowledging all of this, packing and everything, and still not able to believe that I was going to be on Warped Tour, away from everything for three...whole...months.