Warped Vision

I returned to the bus quickly, full of anxiety and indecisiveness. It was hard to tell if I was being too naïve about Justin. The way that he spoke to and about me didn't make it seem like he was very degrading, but everyone talked about him like he was to an extreme. I wanted to take their views into consideration, but at the same time I wanted to find out for myself.

Sulking back toward the bunks, I waved to Flyzik in the lounge before sliding into my own bed and curling up under the covers. “You're back early!” I heard him call out to me, “I'll make sure to tell Alex for you.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, closing my eyes. I wanted so badly just to fall asleep and not think about decision making or reasoning. But before my body could even begin to shut down, I remembered that I had also brought my laptop with me and could let it consume my time and thoughts just as much as Matt did, if I wanted. It would still be a sufficient distraction, yet would allow me to be able to fall sleep later that night.

I stepped out into the light of the bus again and walked into the lounge, where my extra bags were. After grabbing my laptop from the top of one of the bags, I looked over to Flyzik, who was still focused on his computer screen. A million and one things go through his mind daily, but he looked so intent and focused and without stress at all, and I hoped focusing on something else could give me that same effect.

Once I was back in my bunk, I rebooted my computer and watched as it lit up in front of me. I have to admit, I was excited. I hadn't even thought about using my laptop in the week or so that I had been tour, and in a way I missed the escape that it gave me.

However, after logging onto my blog, I realized that I couldn't get away from life with the internet as much as I used to. Only moments after scrolling through my dashboard, all I saw were posts about Sleeping with Sirens, All Time Low, and Pierce the Veil. Of course I'd followed many blogs that posted these things, being as much of a fangirl as I was, but I really wished I hadn't. I wanted to log off, yet I couldn't stop reading. One post I came across was even about me:

“Has anyone heard anything more about Justin's new supposed girlfriend? I guess it's apparently Alex Gaskarth's sister. She's perf in every way, shape and form just like her brother. I don't know if it will last long though.” My heart sank as I clicked on the attached image to see that it was a picture of the kiss Justin and I had shared outside of his bus. The post had quite a few notes, and I clicked to see that many people had responded to it.

“I hope so. We all know how awful his past breakups were. She better not do the same and freak out on him.”

“That wasn't completely their fault, I hope Justin doesn't do anything stupid.”

“I heard Alex is like 800% protective of her and hates the idea lol.”

“She needs a twitter or tumblr. It would make things so much easier.”

I bit my lip and scrolled back up to the top of my dashboard to assess my own blog. I had my fair share of followers, having had many of my brother's fans find me (somehow) and follow me. I didn't really post much, and often just looked at what others were posting, but I was tempted to post now. I had some hesitance, though, nervous of what all of the fans would assume or say to me.

Regardless of my doubts, I opened a new text post and backspaced many, many times before finally posting, “This tour was supposed to get me away from my problems, not create more.”

Within minutes, the post had 50 notes and counting, and my ask was accumulating with messages. I didn't even have to open my inbox to know that it was going to be filled with questions about Justin. I considered not even looking at them at all, knowing that I would be compelled to answer them and vent to people that would just cause more problems for me in the long run.

I was about to click on the envelope at the top of the page, which had an ever-increasing number above it in red, when Alex pulled open the curtain that divided me from everyone else. He looked down on me with mixed feelings, but I was sure he would start scolding me again any second.

“Did you enjoy your day away from the world?” He asked, condescendingly. I closed my laptop and gave him a look of boredom.

“Loved it.”

“Hey,” He lightened up, “You're not totally screwed. You've still got one more chance and plus, so far I've saved you from acquiring cancer.”

I laughed lightly and awaited his next remark, but he apparently didn't have one. Instead, he just planned on walking away. As he was about turn to leave, I grabbed his arm and glanced up at him sadly.

“Alex, should I date Justin?” I asked hesitantly.

He simply looked at me for a moment, seeming unsure of what to say, before sitting down at the edge of the bunk.

“I can't tell you what to do. I mean, if it were up to me, I'd say no band boys. They and their fans either cause trouble, or things go wrong and they write a song about you. But I can't really expect you to be around band boys for three months and not be attracted to any of them, clearly. So I think I'm going to stay out of this one.”

That was a surprise. He usually put his two-sense into everything, down to the clothes I wore. “I'm afraid he's going to be more trouble than other guys in bands would be,” I attempted to egg him on.

Yet, it was no use. “Well, I'm not telling you to date him. Make your own decision and if it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, then you learn from your mistakes, right?”

“I guess,” I sighed, and he kissed the top of my head.

“Get some sleep,” Alex said, pulling my laptop out of my bunk, “And don't think about all this for a little. Want to just hang out with me and the band tomorrow? I think it would be good for you.”

I nodded, actually excited to spend a day with my over-protective brother and friends. He grinned at me and shut the above light off for my bunk, pulling the curtain closed again. Within moments, I was falling fast asleep.

–

The next morning, I was forced awake bright and early to become a part of the boys' daily routine. I had no clue as to what I was going to do that day, because I figured I would just be a spectator in everything they did. The band's day consisted of signings and shows, both of which didn't involve me at all. Despite this, though, Flyzik handed me a schedule and as I studied it, I looked forward to being away from all of the drama for a while.

“So there's an interview in about a half hour/twenty minutes, a signing at one, then we sit at the merch table for a little, meet some people, another interview around 6, do some work for GK, and then the show,” Alex ran through the schedule with me while we ate breakfast. He put the paper down and looked up once he was finished, “Think you can keep up?”

I nodded almost nervously, slowing chewing on my cereal. He gave me a look of sympathy and got up to put his bowl in the sink. On his way back to the table, he patted me on the back, “We'll find you something to do for everything.”

“Hey, we gotta meet the interviewer soon,” Rian walked into the room, clasping his watch and appearing to be in a hurry. He looked down at it and then up at me, “Ten minutes Hann, eat quickly.”

Startled, I gulped down the rest of my cereal and with that, we were rushing off the bus. We maneuvered through a variety of other buses, passing and saying hi to some of the bands that were outside already. One of the groups in particular caught my eye most though, simply because of a recognizable red head. They were passing a football outside of their bus and once he noticed me, he smiled.

I ducked my head down awkwardly, pretending not to have seen him. I was half asleep and looked like a wreck, and my outfit was the best I could do running on about 6 hours of sleep. I was embarrassed already from what had happened the night before, I didn't need further embarrassment from seeing him again and being barely presentable.

Alex said hello to the band and looked down on me once they were out of earshot, “I wish you'd hang out with people more like them, at least they're responsible.”

–

We got to the area that the boys had planned to be interviewed in just in time. The girl had just arrived as well, and greeted them all with a smile before turning to my apathetic, unconcerned self.
“Hannah!” she surprised me, “I didn't know you would be coming to this interview!”

I stared at her awkwardly for a few moments. I had never met this girl in my life, or at least I thought I hadn't. But I guess when you're in that business, you learn quite a bit about a band's personal life. Including the members' families' names and appearances...

Alex noticed my lack of words and quickly spoke up for me, “Yeah, I hope you don't mind if she watches.”

“Oh my gosh, actually, a ton of fans were telling me to ask you about her,” she was ecstatic, “but asking her the questions would be even better! Is that alright?”

“If it's fine by her, its fine by me.”

The interviewer and the entire band turned to me, and I was ready to say no. But she looked so full of hope, I would feel horrible turning her down, “Um, I guess. I can't imagine what they'd want to ask me though.”

“You'll see,” She said, lifting her eyebrows and turning on her microphone. We all squished together on a couch in front of the camera and before I knew it, they began filming.

A sudden realization came over me as she asked the boys about their love life on tour and I became very, very nervous. I was so thankful that, after introducing me, she focused more on the band and didn't ask me anything at all.

That is until near the end, when she turned to face me and had a knowing smile on her face. God, would this be about Justin? I come to get away from the drama and...wow.

“Now, Hannah. Everyone is so excited to hear that you're on tour with All Time Low this summer. How has that been for you?”

“Good,” I cleared my throat, squirming a bit in my seat as I tried to come up with an acceptable answer, “I made a lot of friends, and I'm happy to see some bands I haven't seen in a while or have never seen at all.”

The knowing smile was still on her face, “Like who?”

“Pierce the Veil,” I attempted to beat around the bush, “You Me At Six, Mayday Parade, bands like that.”

“How could you forget Sleeping with Sirens?” Alex suggested, confused. “They're your favorite band.”

I shot him a glare and he continued to look back at me perplexedly. Despite this, the girl's eyes lit up at the sound of the bands name and she glanced down at the papers on her lap, “Right, Sleeping with Sirens. How's you and Justin doing?”

“Great,” I managed with a smile after a moment, “He sucks at guitar hero though.”

“Really? I would have never had guessed,” She laughed a little before getting back to her questions, “There's a picture of you two kissing, all over the internet. Is it safe to say that you two are dating?”

I let out a sigh, “I guess. I don't know, we've only been on one date type of thing. But we're hanging out again soon, so yeah I suppose.”

“Alex,” She turned to him, “How do you feel about this?”

He simply shrugged, probably as uncomfortable as I was, “It's fine I guess, I mean she doesn't drink or smoke with him, so it's cool.”

I widened my eyes and the interviewer looked like a teenage girl ready to hear the juiciest piece of gossip to ever exist, “Who would she do that with?”

“Well, you see, Tony Perry from Pierce the Veil has this influence on her that I won't get into, and recently he's been getting her to do things she shouldn't be doing. He's trying to talk her out of dating Justin too, but he can't influence her to do that. It doesn't even make sense.”

“Alex!” I shrieked, but the girl simply continued to interview me.

“Ooo, does Tony like you?” I seriously couldn't get away from this anywhere.

“He's my best friend,” I took a deep breath, “And no, there is probably a 0% chance that Tony would ever like me. He's 6 years older than me, anyway.”

“Well, isn't Justin nearly that old, too?”

“Yeah, but he hasn't known me since I was 15.”

“Gotcha,” She winked and went on asking me new questions. All of which, however, were thankfully not about my love life. Instead, she asked easy questions that I'd been ask by many fans before, about being the sister of someone moderately famous.

Eventually, she had us say goodbye and the interview was over after what felt like an eternity. I let out another sigh and stood up, glaring at Alex for as long as I could. He returned my look with a look of annoyance.

“I'll deal with you later,” I murmured to him and made my way to the door. Before I could leave though, I was greeted by Vic Fuentes. I noticed the band behind him and fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“Hey Vic!” I let out, “What are you doing here?”

“It should be me asking you that, we're getting interviewed.”

“Right,” I glanced at Tony angrily, “I was just interviewed myself.”

“Wow, you're getting famous,” Vic gave me a toothy smile before walking past me to say hello to the interviewer.

I was thankful to finally be leaving the place, but Tony stopped me before I could. He looked irritated and spoke only a little above a whisper, “Can I have a word with you?”

Great. So much for getting away for the day.

I looked back at everyone, who seemed to be paying attention to the two of us. The girl even wiggled her eyebrows at me. I let out a weird sigh full of impatience and hesitantly nodded, following him outside.