I Don't Mind If You're Overrated

It had been a week since we had told our friends about the plan, and Kellin was definitely avoiding me. He was probably a little freaked out; I know I was. But I wanted to see him. He hadn’t been coming to any meals, and he hadn’t been in his room. The only time I saw him was during class, and he was pretty much just sleeping at that time. His phone was pretty much permanently turned off. I could tell that he was on the edge of a breakdown.

His birthday was in eight days. No matter what, we were throwing him a birthday party. He was turning 16; it was kind of a requirement. We already had it planned, it was going to be a surprise. Even if it would be small, it was going to be fun. Gabe had managed to get some vodka, so that would make things interesting.

After dinner, I set out to go find him. First, I checked the lounge, and he wasn’t there. I went to his room, which was locked. I knocked a few times.

“Kellin?” I called out. There was no reply. Where else would he be, though? The coffee shop was closed, the dorm was the only building that was open… and then it hit me. “Fuck, the music center. Of course.” I realized.
I practically ran out of the building, barely watching to see if anyone saw me. I knew vaguely where it was, seeing as Kellin had told me a few stories as to how they got over there. Across the road, down the street about a mile, down the alley, on the left. It was sketchy, but the half-lit sign on top of the old building definitely read Music Resource Center. I pushed on the door tentatively, but it was locked. What the fuck? I started to walk around the side of the building, looking up at the big windows. I got all the way around to the other side when I saw a small door, propped open with a cinderblock. I slipped through the crack and into the dark hallway.

There was one light that hung in the dim corridor. I ran down it, starting to feel pretty freaked out. I shoved through the door at the end and into the main building. There was no one behind the front desk, meaning I could go up the stairs to my right. It was pretty well lit, but beyond silent. At the top of the stairwell, there were rows of rooms. They were glass, marked with soundproof insured notices on every door. There were instruments in every room, which I would kill to get my hands on. I reached out for the door of the first room, trying to open it. But it was locked, of course. I sighed, and continued my search for Kellin.

There were a lot of rooms. I wondered when this place was actually open. I was guessing you had to be a member to come in (or least you were supposed to be), and even though it seemed run down from the outside, the indoors was actually pretty nice. I’d love to come here to just get away, kind of like Kellin was doing right now. At least I assumed so; I hadn’t found him yet.

That was when I heard a voice. It floated down the hallway, high pitched and dreamlike. It wove into my ears, implanted itself in my head. It was like the voice of a siren luring me to my death, and I needed more. I found myself running towards it, and then stopping in my tracks when I saw Kellin behind the glass, belting out the most beautiful lyrics I’d ever heard. His voice was so different in person than it had been on the recording I had heard. It was high and heavenly; the kind of voice I could only dream of.

Spent seven years wishing that you’d drop the line,

But I carry the thought along with you in my mind.

Is this what you call a family?

Is this what you call a family?

The lyrics gave me chills. He stepped away from the microphone in the center of the room, turning to face me. Tears gleamed in his eyes. We stared at each other through the glass, neither of us wanting
to move. There would never be a moment like this again.

He was the first one to move, going to open the door for me.

“Come in.” He said, his tired voice matching the weary gleam in his eyes. I pushed through the door and turned to him as he took his headphones off and hung them around his neck.

“How did you find me?” He asked, bewilderment in his voice. I shrugged.

“I pay attention. I know you too well, babe.” I said with a laugh. He smiled weakly. “Kells, how long has it been since you’ve slept?” I asked slowly.

“I don’t really know. I’ve been down here writing and recording. I’ve tracked some stuff onto things we recorded last year, because I didn’t put lyrics to most of them. See, people can leave this school at the semester, and that’s what Jack and Justin did. Justin graduated early; he was always really smart. I wish they were still here.” He reminisced. I pulled up a stool from the side of the room, and grabbed a guitar. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Let’s write a song.” I whispered, starting to strum on the guitar.

“I have some lyrics I wrote that I think would sound good on an acoustic.” He said slowly, flipping through his notebook. I just kept on playing, working out a tune. I started to loop it, getting ready for Kellin to sing. His voice began shakily, but then grew stronger.

She sits up high, surrounded by the sun.

One million branches and she loves every one…

The chords came naturally for me. The words flowed out of him, and it was clear that he had them memorized when he dropped the notebook to the ground to look at me while he was singing. I played the loops, adding in little embellishments here and there. Our creation was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard.

3, 2, 1, where did you go?

His voice trailed off as he finished. He sat on the stool looking at his fingers, and even though his hair flopped into his face, I could tell he was holding back tears. I put the guitar back on the stand and moved closer to him.

“Vic, I need to be alone.” He whispered, his voice strained. I could guess he had been doing a lot of singing lately.

“No, Kellin. You need to sleep.” I insisted. “I don’t even know how you keep breaking in here, or how late you stay, but you need sleep. Come on.” He didn’t argue with me this time, he just moved to shut off the light. We stood there in the dark, and his hand found mine.

“I’m scared.” He was crying now. “I really don’t know what’s going to happen, you know? Like, do you, either? Not just with us, but with my life. And I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s scary. I don’t want to grow up.” He whined. I couldn’t see his face, just his outline in the pitch black room. He was right.

“I know. I don’t have a place to go when the school year ends. I don’t know how to function without a family. But then again, no one will really miss us. It kind of sets us free, ya know?” I realized. I had Mike, I guess. But I needed my parents. Kellin laughed, scaring me.

“We’re so fucked up.” He said, his voice dripping with a dry laugh. I could practically see his smirk, just glaring at an unknown target behind me. He pulled me into his arms, a role which was usually mine. I smiled against his chest, feeling him kiss my head.

“Let’s go.” I murmured. We walked out of the music center in silence, moving the cinderblock when we left. The next week and a half was going to be a tough one for both of us.