Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

Madison sat in the car as her mom stood in line to get her prescription filled. She rested her head on the window and huffed out of boredom “seriously, how long does it take to put some pills in a bottle”

She reached forward to turn the dial on the radio, sick of the repetitive pop song that she was sure she had already heard at least twice since her mom picked her up from the hospital. It was then that she noticed her phone sitting in the console still attached to the charger. She grabbed her phone and her eyes widened at the large amount of missed calls and text messages. She clicked the green button on the phone to get to recent calls “Alex, Alex, Alex, mom, Alex, Alex, Alex, Nate, Dad, Alex….Alex, Alex”

She felt her cheeks begin to burn and bit her lip when she brought the text messages up which were also mostly Alex

“hey, just wanted to check on you. How ya feeling, ladybug?—Alex”

“…you okay?—Alex”

“is this about the nickname? I’m sorry...--Alex”

“Madi, I’m sorry, just please stop ignoring me—Alex”

Madi exited out of the messages her heart too heavy to continue reading; she knew they were just going to get more depressing. She felt terrible that Alex thought she was mad at him this whole time and she felt like a bitch for making him feel that way, even if it was completely unintentional.

“pretty sure they had the crypt keeper working in there today, sorry it took so long sweetie” Andrea, Madisons mom said as she buckled her seatbelt and began backing out of the parking spot.

“s’okay. Hey, mom?” Madison bit her lip and stared at her mom trying to evaluate her mood. It’s not that her mom was ever violent but sometimes if she was in a bad mood she would snap at Madison and she really didn’t want to sit through that.

“yeah, honey?”

“Ummm is it okay if I go over to Alex’s. It’s just that Jack invited me and I said I would and I don’t want to be a liar…” Madison rambled ironically considering she was already being a liar to begin with.

“I don’t know honey, you just got released” Andrea sighed

“Mom, please! I finally have some friends a-and I promise if I don’t feel well I’ll come home. P-please!?” Madi begged, her bottom lip poking out in a sad pout for some extra efforts.

Andrea sighed and nodded “okay, but I want you home by seven for dinner”

Madison rolled her eyes but agreed anyways. Dinner was a pointless meal for her anyways, she wouldn’t be able to keep anything down and would end up kneeled in front of a toilet but she didn’t want to press her luck.

“Thanks, mom” She kissed her cheek quickly before dashing out of the car and over to Alex’s house. Madison nervously lifted her hand to knock on the wooden door. She was immediately pulled into someone’s body before she had the chance to react to the door opening. She reluctantly wrapped her arms around the persons waist and took a breath in, immediately recognizing the scent to be Alex’s. She relaxed and hugged him tighter

“I’m sorry, madi. Whatever I did, I’m sorry” Alex said, his words muffled a bit because his face was nuzzled into her neck.

“Shhh. Alex you didn’t do anything. I-I just didn’t have my phone, is all.” Madison admitted, sheepishly hiding her face in his chest. She felt his chest move up and down as he laughed “God, I’m such a moron”

Madi shook her head and pulled away from him, her arms still circled around his waist “You’re not, Alex. It’s sweet really and k-kinda cute” she bit her lip and looked up at Alex from underneath her eyelashes, waiting for some kind of reaction. She smiled when she noticed the familiar pink color paint Alex’s cheeks as he warmly smiled down at her.

‘Is someone getting soft on me?” Alex joked, pulling her into the house.

“Shut up, Alex” Madison huffed out, more flustered than she should have been. She followed the boy through his house and down the stairs into the basement where the other three boys were sprawled across the two couches. She first caught eyes with Jack and smiled at him with soft eyes, a sort of thank you to her new found friendship with him. Jack beamed and ran across the room enveloping her in his arms “I’m glad you made it” he whispered for only her to hear and then sloppily kissed her cheek.

Alex felt a bubble of jealousy and a wave of anger wash over him as he watched the interaction. His jaw clenched tightly shut as he glared at his best friend.

“Yo, Alex. You look like you’re about to bust a vein, bro!” Zack joked, though even he was wary of the
interaction that just occurred between Madison and Jack.

“Whatever, let’s just practice” Alex snapped, angrily picking up his guitar and standing in his assigned spot. The rest of the boys followed warily, clearly not impressed by Alex’s sudden mood change. Madison sat on the couch in the same spot she had sat the first time she had attended their band practice. The mood of the song was darker than Madison had anticipated and while she knew the song was written for someone else, it had become clear that Alex was aiming the words towards her from the way he shot her dirty glances.

I'm looking forward to another day without you
The way I see it you could never do what I do
I welcomed you with open arms
You drove the knife right through my heart
So now I'm crossing out the pain that's been tearing us apart

Madison sat still avoiding eye contact with any of the boys. Her jaw sat into a stone like position as she willed the tears to stay at bay.

I think you're in over your head
Choking as the water fills your lungs
Can't you see to me you're dead?
Too late now, what said it's done

Madison’s hands began to shake as she bit into her lip hard enough to draw blood, the metallic taste filling her mouth but she didn’t care. She had never been bothered by that word before but the way Alex venomously threw the word at her hurt. Dead. A word she was all too familiar with but now it was stuck in her head, repeating itself over and over.

You were out of sight, now you are out of line
Went to your head, now you are left behind

Let me go, can't you see?
You're just the next best thing to me
Here I go, honestly
You're just the next best thing to me

Madison abruptly stood up, her hands shaking as the nerves in her body felt scattered leaving her feeling light headed. She vaguely recalled someone calling her name but everything felt weird and she couldn’t control the words from tumbling out of her mouth “I guess it’s a good thing I’m dying then” she quickly navigated herself to the stairs, tripping up them as she tried to escape the house. She heard people calling her name but she didn’t stop until she was in her house. She flung herself into her mom’s arms and let the breakdown hit her at full force. “Oh, honey, shhh. It’s okay, sweetie” her mom cradled her head with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. Madison guessed the old saying was true “be careful what you wish for” because if that was what having friends was like, if that’s what feeling normal felt like then she didn’t want any part of it.

Alex stared at the spot that Madison had been standing, his mind reeling but his body numb. He couldn’t process the words that she had spoken and it wasn’t until Jack punched the fuck out of Alex when Alex finally snapped out of it.

“w-what?” Alex asked lamely to no one in particular. He looked to each of the other three boys for some sort of explanation but they only shook their heads at him in disappointment.

“Dude, you’re a dick” Zack finally said even though he still hadn’t fully processed what Madison had said but he knew it wasn’t good.

Jack sat in silence though an argument was going on in his head, contemplating whether or not he should say something. Finally he heaved a loud sigh and sat his guitar down gently “Alex, she’s my patient buddy” Jack spoke softly even though he was livid with his best friend but he also knew that Alex didn’t know.

“what?”

“At the hospital, the thing I’m doing where I get paired with a terminal patient…” Jack slowly clarified waiting for recognition to cross Alex’s face “she’s my patient that I was assigned” Jack voiced faded into a whisper but all of the boys had clearly heard him.

“W-whadya mean?” Alex asked, his voice wavering as his lips quivered. Rian, being the most motherly of the group instantly pulled Alex into his body, not caring about the guitar still slung across Alex’s body.

“Exactly what she said ‘Lex…she’s dying” Jack murmured, not making eye contact with Alex because he was still trying his best to not punch him again but that feeling faded away instantly when he heard the sob rip through his best friend. Jack looked over to see Alex down on his knees with Zack and Rian desperately trying to comfort him.

“I-I didn’t know!” Alex cried out desperately. Jack kneeled down and pulled Alex into his arms “it’ll be okay ‘Lex” he reassured and sat with his friend until his tears began to slow down.

“Fuck, I’m such a dick” Alex groaned, his body slumped forward and his head resting on Jacks shoulder.

“yep” all of the boys agreed earning a deathly glare from Alex.

Alex laid in bed that night after the boys left his mind consumed with thoughts about Madi, slowly piecing it all together. The reason she didn’t have her phone for a week, the way she looked so pained when she was sick from her “stomach bug,” the song she sang in the art district about being a fake, how she so desperately tried to convince him that he didn’t want to be friends with her; how she would just hurt him and disappoint him. Most of all though his mind was still thinking about the kiss they shared and how he knew he had to make it up to her because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t make the rest of her life the best part. He didn’t know why he was so drawn to her but it killed Alex inside to know that no matter what he did he would eventually have to live without her but he wasn’t ready for the end to come just yet.