Status: finished :)
Red
part four.
But loving him was red.
“I’m doing it, Jane,” Liz whispers into her phone, resting her forehead against the closet door. “I’m going through his stuff. I’m finally doing it. Call me back, please. I miss you.”
It had been around three months since Liz had actually seen her best friend. She’d still been locked away in her little world, the world she hadn’t left since John died. She’d taken all the photos of him down, shoved everything he’d owned into their closet and turned a blind eye to it. She thought she’d never be able to look at it again, but here she is.
His mom had called her a few dozen times, most of them asking her if she wanted help doing what she was about to do right now.
She was getting rid of it all.
Photos of him, his old clothes (some of which still smelled like him), baseball cards he’d kept from when he was a kid. She was throwing it all out. She didn’t bother asking his mom if she wanted any of it.
Wiping her face and leaning back, Liz opens the closet door, squeezing her eyes shut as she does so. She knew it would be hard for her to finally do this, but she hadn’t known how much. She felt as though he was there with her, encouraging her to do the one thing she thought she wouldn’t have to do for at least another half a century.
“I’m gonna marry you someday, Elizabeth.”
Liz looks up from her book, poking him with her foot. “Oh really, John?”
John smirks, running a hand through his hair. “I mean it, baby. I’m going to get down on one knee and propose to you one day. Soon. Really soon.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” she says, smiling to show him that she was only joking.
That was what she missed most about John; those little moments with him, sitting outside on their back patio, listening to the cicadas buzz in the dark. She finally realized that, even though she couldn’t have those moments back, she was content with being able to remember him in that way. Liz could practically see him, grinning stupidly up at her as she took a picture of him on their porch swing, in his truck, at his piano.
For the first time in a long time, she was thinking back to that day in the car, when the road was icy and his hand was holding tightly to hers. Well, she’d thought of this day many times since the incident had actually occurred, but mostly it was to grieve. She thought about the coroner’s report, about having to go with Jenny to the hospital to pick up the contents of his coat pockets a few days after the accident. The only thing that mattered was the ring.
John hadn’t lied; he’d fully intended to marry Elizabeth. He’d wanted to seal that deal at her parents’ house, after dinner. That was what hit Liz the hardest. Everything she’d ever wanted was right in her grasp, practically in his, and then, just like that, it was gone.
She rubbed a finger over the rings on her left hand, first the engagement ring with the small diamond that he’d slaved and saved for months for, then the gold and she’d had engraved in his memory, smiling faintly, fondly.
JCO’C V. Forgetting you will be like trying to remember someone I’ve never met.
“I’m doing it, Jane,” Liz whispers into her phone, resting her forehead against the closet door. “I’m going through his stuff. I’m finally doing it. Call me back, please. I miss you.”
It had been around three months since Liz had actually seen her best friend. She’d still been locked away in her little world, the world she hadn’t left since John died. She’d taken all the photos of him down, shoved everything he’d owned into their closet and turned a blind eye to it. She thought she’d never be able to look at it again, but here she is.
His mom had called her a few dozen times, most of them asking her if she wanted help doing what she was about to do right now.
She was getting rid of it all.
Photos of him, his old clothes (some of which still smelled like him), baseball cards he’d kept from when he was a kid. She was throwing it all out. She didn’t bother asking his mom if she wanted any of it.
Wiping her face and leaning back, Liz opens the closet door, squeezing her eyes shut as she does so. She knew it would be hard for her to finally do this, but she hadn’t known how much. She felt as though he was there with her, encouraging her to do the one thing she thought she wouldn’t have to do for at least another half a century.
“I’m gonna marry you someday, Elizabeth.”
Liz looks up from her book, poking him with her foot. “Oh really, John?”
John smirks, running a hand through his hair. “I mean it, baby. I’m going to get down on one knee and propose to you one day. Soon. Really soon.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” she says, smiling to show him that she was only joking.
That was what she missed most about John; those little moments with him, sitting outside on their back patio, listening to the cicadas buzz in the dark. She finally realized that, even though she couldn’t have those moments back, she was content with being able to remember him in that way. Liz could practically see him, grinning stupidly up at her as she took a picture of him on their porch swing, in his truck, at his piano.
For the first time in a long time, she was thinking back to that day in the car, when the road was icy and his hand was holding tightly to hers. Well, she’d thought of this day many times since the incident had actually occurred, but mostly it was to grieve. She thought about the coroner’s report, about having to go with Jenny to the hospital to pick up the contents of his coat pockets a few days after the accident. The only thing that mattered was the ring.
John hadn’t lied; he’d fully intended to marry Elizabeth. He’d wanted to seal that deal at her parents’ house, after dinner. That was what hit Liz the hardest. Everything she’d ever wanted was right in her grasp, practically in his, and then, just like that, it was gone.
She rubbed a finger over the rings on her left hand, first the engagement ring with the small diamond that he’d slaved and saved for months for, then the gold and she’d had engraved in his memory, smiling faintly, fondly.
JCO’C V. Forgetting you will be like trying to remember someone I’ve never met.
♠ ♠ ♠
Wow, this took me literally six months to write. I'm upset with myself. I'm not very good at endings, but I finally finished this. I'm not very proud of this last chapter, but the entire thing, wow, I never thought I'd be able to write something like this. I'm very proud of the story as a whole; I thought it up in psychology class! I apologize for how long this took me to write and how absolutely awful it is. Thank you for sticking with it, if you have. And, as always, let me know what you think. :)