Tell Me Everything Will Be Alright. Things Will Be Alright

I remember the day the that Sebastian took me to the doctor’s office because my mom was at work and no one else could take me. It was just suppose to be a simple check up; ya know to make sure everything was functioning as it should. We were sitting there in the brightly lit room; I on a hard sterile cot and Sebby on a more comfortable looking green vinyl chair. The abnormally clean air was still and the sounds of patients next door to us could be heard. A gurney rolled down the hall with the victim of a motorcycle accident in it’s stiff embrace. Hospitals have always been creepy to me. The way it smelled, the way the doctor’s smiled, the way the receptionist spoke; I never wanted to have anything to do with anything the cold, clinical building had to offer.

When I realize the doctor has longer than usual, I glance at my best friend nervously. He offers me a smile, “ Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure everything is fine. Maybe he just got caught up in a conversation with that pretty receptionist lady.”

“I knew you thought she was attractive!” I small smile sneaks it’s way on to my face remembering the larger set woman at the front desk with the large glasses and snaggle tooth.

“Hey, hey now! That’s not nice!” His voice says he’s offended but the smile that ghosts his face begs to differ.

The door to our room is pushed open and my doctors steps through, closing the door, completely behind him before taking a seat on the black leather stool in front of the cot. I know immediately that something is wrong when he faces us; his face looks haggard, his eyes sad.

“Cadence, we have some bad news…”

After that everything is just kind of a blur. I don’t hear the rest of what he said exactly, except the part about a malevolent cancer making its way through my system. His mouth keeps moving but no words are coming out. I can feel my heart beating in my ears, panic constricting my chest. I glance at Seb hoping to find this out to be a big joke. His face reflects my feelings; terror, nausea, and panic.

-An hour later-

My hands grip the metal links of the chains holding my swing to the bar above my head while I drag my feet through the dirt below me. My mind still not completely wrapped around the information the doctor told me an hour ago.

“Cay, can we talk about this?” Sebastian gives me a sad look from his perch in the swing next to me.

“What’s there to talk about?” I can feel the tears well up in my eyes, “I have cancer and I’m going to die. There’s nothing really to talk about, Sebastian.”
“Why not make the time you have left worth while with the ones you love?”

“Sebastian! I don’t think you heard me,” My voice is louder than intended, “I have no life! I’m done! And as for my loved ones all I have is my mom! My dad left when I was little and I have no siblings! No grandparents! So, please, Seb, tell me what loved ones I’m suppose to spend my dying moments with?!”

Seb looks at me for a moment, “What about me, Cay? Have I not been there for you through everything. For your grandparents deaths? After your father left. We’ve known each other since diapers. What am I to you? Nothing?”

I feel the rage in my chest settle at the sight of my best friend close to tears.

“What about your mom!? She’s ALWAYS been there! You’ve said yourself that she’s the most important person to you! I know this sucks! I know you want to give up, but you deserve so much more than this. So much more than this despair you want to recede into. And let me tell you something, I will do everything in my power to make sure that whatever it is that we have to do, we’ll get through this and you’ll be okay. I’ll be the shadow at your door and the moth into your light. I swear to you, Cay, I’m not gonna let you die. Do you understand me?”

This time the tears fall from my eyes freely. To hear him tell me those things…

Seb hugs me and kisses my forehead. I choke back a sob, “I just need to know that everything will be alright.”

As I bury my face into his coat he runs his fingers through my hair and whispers, “Everything will be alright.”