Kenya

“So you and Kenya huh?”

I blushed kind of. We weren’t really a thing. We hadn’t even so much as looked at each other since the party, but we were still Minnie’s favorite thing to talk about.

“I don’t know. I mean I don’t like him. At all. He stole my girlfriend and then starts making me feel all weird, and…”

“Isn’t that what having a crush on someone is supposed to do?”

“Ugh. Not like this though. I feel nauseous and like I have no control over myself.”

Minnie took a sip of her hot tea.

I had just gotten a glass of water. Hot tea wasn’t really my cup of tea.

“Maybe you and I just need to have some retail therapy or something,” Minnie suggested.

“Okay, just because I kissed a guy once in my life does not mean I am suddenly a flaming homosexual okay? I am not taking you shopping and I will absolutely not help you pick out outfits to wear.”

Minnie laughed. “I knew you were in there somewhere.”

I rolled my eyes.

She stood up. “Come on loser, let’s go for a walk and enjoy the cold weather before it starts raining every day.

---

We really were right to go on that walk. It seemed like it rained for months on end. I wasn’t sure how the sky could even hold that much water. The thing that sucked about the winter here was that it didn’t snow. Everything was just icy and wet.

I can’t tell you how many times I just stayed home because the weather was just too damn depressing for me to even leave the house.

On those days, my aunt would sigh at me and shake her head as she made me oatmeal with raisins in it. I always pretended to eat that oatmeal until she left for work and I dumped it down the sink. I hated oatmeal. It was almost as depressing as the weather.

Minnie would come over sometimes and we’d watch old Addam’s Family reruns on TV. My aunt liked Minnie. She said that she was a sweet girl and I should have more friends like her. I could only wish though.

It was a Monday afternoon at school when Ms. Beck reminded me that on that coming Friday we’d be leaving to go on our fieldtrip for the art thing. I was sort of looking forward to that. It was in state more, so further away from the coast, which meant that there was a chance it’d be warmer.

I went to school every day that week.

On Thursday Kenya finally talked to me. He sat next to Minnie and I at lunch. “Can I talk to you?” he asked me. He looked worn out. He almost always seemed teeming with energy, so I didn’t know what was up with him lately.

“Are you going to try to make out with me?”

He only glared in my general direction. He didn’t even half-heartedly attempt to sass me at all.

“Do you need to be alone?” Minnie asked, and almost stood up.

Kenya shook his head and pulled me out of my seat.

“Hallway,” was all he said.

I followed him, leaving a worried-looking Minnie staring after us.

“What are we?” Kenya asked.

“Acquaintances maybe?”

Kenya shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“What do you want to be?” he asked me.

“Acquaintances.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Be serious Ashley.”

“I am.”

“What happened to us?”

“There really never was an ‘us’. You just came on to me, I just reacted in the moment and that was all. Not to mention you stole my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t like her anyway, but that’s besides the point okay?”

“So what is the point?”

“I am fucking suffering.”

“From what?”

“I don’t know. I like, need you or something because, ugh-.” He pulled at his hair.

“Okay so you think you can just come over here and tell me that you need me and we’ll just butt-fuck or whatever and life will be good?”

Kenya rolled his eyes. “Honestly if that’s what you want to do I won’t object-…”

“No, no, no.”

“I didn’t think it was going to be that easy. Can’t we just like hang out or something-….”

“I’m busy all weekend.”

“Bloody hell. With what? What could possibly be going on in this god-forsaken state in the beginning of December?”

“I have that art thing with Ms. Beck.”

“Oh right. Blooming Van Gogh over here.”

“Okay listen. Why the hell are you so pissed off at me? I have done absolutely nothing to piss you off?”

“I’m not pissed.”

“Then what is your problem?” I asked, a little louder than I should have. A few freshmen down the hall looked up at our exchange.

“I’m horny as fuck,” Kenya said, pulling at his long, purple hair. He bit his lip and looked like he might explode or something.

“So you think you can just come over here and I’ll just be a booty call? Isn’t that what Perry is for? What about Daphne? What about Kurt?”

“Listen, Ashley, I know it sounds bad, but Kurt and I aren’t talking and I’d happily do either of those girls if could. I can’t though. Like, I physically can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because they don’t turn me on and I just can’t.”

“Like you can’t get it up?”

“No I can do that. Ashley, I’m a teenage boy, not a forty-year-old man, I can get it up to the thought of food. I just can’t, like, look at them or anything because I don’t want to be with them.”

“Who then?”

“You.”

“No this is way too weird. I’m going to go finish my lunch now. Bye.” I started to walk away, but Kenya grabbed my arm. He was a lot stronger than I’d thought he’d be so I just sort of awkwardly stood thee with him holding my wrist.

“Are you done?” I asked.

He pushed me to the wall. I pushed him away. “Not here. Fuck off.”

“Later then?” he asked.

“No. Find someone else.”

“Kay. Thanks.”

“Fuck. Off.”

I could feel Kenya glaring into my back as I walked away, but I wasn’t going to look back. I wasn’t going to let him think that I’d thought about what it would be like to do things with him.

I sat back down next to Minnie. “What happened?” she asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She didn’t pry, just patted my knee and said that things would work out. I sincerely hoped so.