Kenya

My mom was absolutely in love with Kenya. She thought he was great.

A few days later, my mom caught me in the living room and we talked for a bit.

“So where’d you meet him?” she asked, referring to Kenya.

“School.”

“He’s such a nice kid. What’s up with the hair?”

I shrugged. “I don’t think anyone knows.”

“I like your friends here, Ashley.”

I knew that she never really liked my friends back in Jersey. She’d always thought they were stuck-up carbon copies of each other. She was sort of right, but that’s just the way that everyone was there. I’d never really liked it, but it was what I was raised in and I wasn’t going to battle it.

“Your dad called you right?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you talked to Kenya about going?”

“Oh. I was actually thinking about taking Minnie.”

“Oh, the dark-haired girl. She’s cute.”

“We’re just friends.”

“Riiight.”

“Mom.”

“Okay. I believe you.”

If only she knew.

“Do you want me to call her parents?”

“I guess that would make it legit, huh?”

“Probably.”

So I got Minnie’s parents’ house number and my mom called over.

I went into my room and turned on the TV.

My phone buzzed at least four times in a row. It was Kenya. He wanted me to come over because he was bored. I told him no because I didn’t want him thinking he could just call me over whenever he “needed” me.

He ended up calling me.

“Ashley,” he whined, “why can’t you just come over?”

“You can’t just call me over because you need a lay.”

“But Ashley…”

“But what?”

“Can you come over and help me with physics then?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m failing. Almost.”

“Kenya. The lowest grade in that class is a B.”

I could almost see Kenya’s body language changing in my mind.

“Pleeeease Ashley?”

“No.”

“Ashley, come on. Don’t be a party-pooper.”

“Kenya, I’m not coming over. Give it up.”

“I’ll do anything.”

“Good night Kenya.”

“Can I come and get you? We can walk around downtown or something.”

“Are we going to be alone?”

“No.”

“I can deal with that.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in like a half-hour.”

I told my mom where I was going off to and she told me to make sure that I was safe and home by midnight. Or if I wasn’t going to be home, I had to call her and let her know.

Kenya knocked on the door.

My mom answered it. They hugged. “Kenya!” she said, absolutely beaming. “I haven’t seen you in so long. Why don’t you come over more often?”

“I’ve been busy,” Kenya said, letting her go form his hug.

My mom patted him on the shoulder and I couldn’t help but smile. I sort of wondered how my mom would react if I just told her right now that I was probably gay. If she knew that Kenya and I were fooling around, I wondered how she’d feel.

I didn’t say anything though. I just walked with Kenya downtown, talking about nothing important, just getting to know each other more.

Kenya’s hand barely brushed mine, but I pulled my hand away out of instinct. Kenya looked just a bit dejected, but he didn’t say anything.

“So what are we doing?” I asked him.

Kenya shrugged. “I thought we’d just walk around and enjoy the slushiness of late November.”

“It’s pretty miserable, to be honest.”

Kenya bought himself a coffee but I ended up drinking at least half of it. I was so cold.

“Do you want to go back to my house and just chill, or…”

Kenya was suggesting that we go to his house, and for once, I was sort of okay with that. I didn’t feel like anything would happen. He was just being friendly and there really wasn’t anything wrong with that. I should’ve known better because this was Kenya after all.

Kenya pushed me back against the door. The knob pushed into my back and I groaned because it was actually really painful.

“Was that you groaning for me, Ashley?” Kenya asked, holding my hands in his and pressing himself against me.

“No that was actually just me in pain because there’s a door knob in my ass.”

Kenya chuckled.

The doorknob jiggled and I instinctively moved away from it. It sounded like someone was unlocking it from the outside.

“Shiiiit.”

“What?”

“My dad.”

“What about him?”

“He’s home. So don’t take anything he says to you personally okay?”

“Why?”

The man who was Kenya’s father cut off Kenya’s answer. “Kenya Monroe do you have a friend over?”

“Yeah dad,” he said. “This is Ashley.”

I shook his dad’s hand.

Kenya and his dad barely looked alike. The only thing that was remotely similar between the two of them was their eyes. Their eyes were both so dark brown that you could barely see a pupil. That’s where their similarities ended.

Kenya was long and thin, like a bird, where his father was short and almost round. Kenya had enough hair for three people and his dad was balding.

“Nice to meet you Ashley.”

“You too, sir.”

“My name’s Steve.”

I nodded.

“So dad,” Kenya began. He had a look on his face that was sort of blank, but not blank as in he was zoned out, it was blank as in his expression was absolutely unreadable.

“What?”

“What was the girl’s name this time? Was she prettier than mom? I bet she was my age.”

“Kenya. We have a guest, this isn’t the time.”

“It’s always the time dad. You haven’t been home for three days, and that makes me sick to know that I’m even related to you.”

“Kenya we’ll talk about this later.”

“Dad. You go out to strip clubs and hotel rooms for days at a time. I barely even see you. Then you come home and act like I’m not going to be worried or scared that you aren’t even going to come back? For all I know you could be dead or in jail.”

“Well I’m home now.”

Kenya looked like he was going to cry. I wanted to touch his arm and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I figured that his dad might not know and it was probably best to just give him a look that said I was so sorry.

“Dad,” Kenya said softly. “This is Ashley. He’s probably my boyfriend sooo….”

“Kenya-….”

“Stop going on drug binges and sleeping with prostitutes and we’ll talk about me.”

“Kenya he looks like a nice kid.” He turned to me. “Watch out for Kenya, will you? I want someone to be there for him.”

I nodded.

Kenya squeezed my hand.

Kenya took me to his room, which was admittedly kind of shitty. He just had a mattress on the floor with yellowing sheets on it and a few pillows. There was a record player in the corner next to a cd player and stack and stacks of records and cd’s.

“So I’m your boyfriend?”

“I just said that to get back at him okay? Don’t take it personally.”

“I understand. I guess.” I stood awkwardly.

“I hate my dad, but he’s family you know? So you gotta stick with them.”

I wished my dad had had the same philosophy about my mom and I. He kicked us to the curb though without even a second glance.

Kenya swallowed hard.

“When I was about seven or eight, my mom had just died, I came home from school and I walked in on my dad and some chick. Ash, she was only like, seventeen, if that. That sort of thing messes you up.”

I just looked at Kenya.

He looked back at me.

“I just want something stable in my life, you know?”

“I’m not gonna be stable.”

“Yeah, but you’re hot.” Kenya grinned.

“Kenya, what do you really want?”

“You.”

I pitied him. He was so stuck on me, but I wasn’t even worth his time.

A car started in the driveway. “There he goes again,” Kenya said, his lips trembling a bit. He clenched his teeth. His jaw flexed.

“Can I have you?”

“Yeah.”

Kenya showed me a whole new world that night. He showed me what making love was. When he gripped my face and kissed me hard I felt a passion that I’d never really felt before. It was good. I liked it.

We were both exhausted by the wee hours of the morning. I called my mom. I left her a message. I wasn’t sure how she’d react to the news of Kenya and I, so I didn’t exactly tell her about that.

Kenya stroked the skin of my shoulder with his thumb. He held me close to him. We were sticky, smelly, and sweaty, but I never wanted to move.

“This was all I ever wanted with you.”

“I should’ve agreed sooner.”

Kenya kissed my nose and buried his face into my back.

I held his arm that was wrapped around my waist.

It was perfect. The balance was perfect.