Change of Plans

With a loud screech Morgana tore out the last page of Gaius’s book. She decided she would ask Morgause why her name was listed there instead of under her parent’s name. As she placed the book back where she found it she flipped it back to the page about the Revealing Dust. She realized that Gaius must have been reading it when she heard him and Gwaine talking earlier that day. Morgana turned to leave when she realized that if Gwaine and Gaius were reading the book earlier then they must have seen her name listed in the back of the book. She looked down at the page in her hand. “He does know. That is what he meant when he said that I can never know the truth.” Morgana said to herself as she snuck out of Gaius’s Chambers and walked back up the dark stairwell.
“Well good evening Morgana.” Morgause turned her head and smiled at Morgana as she came in to the room. “I take it you found all the information you were looking for?”
“You were right! You were right about Uther and my parents having magic. I can’t believe I ever trusted him.” Morgana put her hand up to her head. “I feel so ashamed. How could I have been so blind? I should have listened when you first told me.”
“Oh, do not be so hard on yourself my dear. I would be more surprised if you were not shocked. Uther has been a father to you since you were a young girl. You had no reason to doubt him.” Morgause said to Morgana as she put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Actually, I found this in the back of the book. Why is my name listed here? My mother and father are listed up towards the front with the other parents and children, but my name was back here.” Morgana held the paper out to Morgause.
After taking a look at the paper Morgause’s attitude changed from friendly to concerned. Clearly Morgana did not understand what was on the paper otherwise she would have broke down crying. Morgause did not want to be the one to break it to Morgana, she hopped Morgana would figure it out on her own.
“Morgana, this is a list if illegitimate children.” Morgana said.
“Yeah I know, so why is my name on that list? Why is Uther’s name next to mine?” Morgana demanded answers.
Morgause sighed and pointed to the edge of Morgana’s bed, asking her to take a seat. Then she handed the paper back to Morgana and began to explain what she meant when she said that the life she was living was a lie.
“I should have told you before. That way it would not come as such a shock to you. I know you loved both of your parents very much, and they loved you. They wanted to make sure you had everything you ever needed in life. They had always felt that you were treated unfairly.”
“Unfairly? How?”
“Morgana, your father is not the man who died in a fire because of sorcery. Your father is the man who ordered that the home be burnt down. Your father is the man you have been living with since that fire. Uther Pendragon is your biological father.”
Morgana plopped down on the edge of the bed and stared straight ahead trying to comprehend what she heard. Uther Pendragon was her father. Morgana was the daughter of the King. He did not spend all those years treating her like a daughter because she was close to her parents and felt badly for her. He treated her like a daughter because she was his daughter.
“How can that be? I am not a Pendragon. If I was why would Uther lie about it?” Morgana questioned.
“Uther’s name is the only one listed as a parent. That means that he is the only known parent. When you were born Uther must have done something so that way your mother’s real identity would not be released. It is well known that the Queen was having trouble getting pregnant. There was a lot of talk of Uther keeping mistresses.” Morgause stopped; she did not want to say anything to farther upset Morgana.
“So you are telling me that we do not know who my real mother is?” Morgana took deep breaths trying to hold back tears. Nothing made sense to her anymore.
“I am so sorry Morgana. No, the woman you grew up believing was your mother truth is the woman who gave birth to you. When she was the King’s mistress she was not yet married. Once the King found out that the Queen was pregnant he sent all of his mistresses away. Your mother came to Uther when she learned she was pregnant, but by that time Arthur had just been born. There was no way he could accept an illegitimate child into the castle. So Uther sent her away. Shortly after she married the man you know to be your father. Uther knew he could trust them to raise you well, and most importantly not tell anyone who you really were.” Morgause finished in a whisper as she watched the mixed emotions flash across Morgana’s face.
Morgana thought she was going to be sick. It was all too much. Not only did she learn that Uther killed her parents, but then she finds out that Uther is actually her father. That explained why when Uther ordered to have her parents killed he made sure that she was safe and brought to the castle. No one would suspect anything since everyone already thought her parents had died. A tear rolled down Morgana’s face, and she quickly wiped it away before snapping her head to look at Morgause.
“Who else knows?” Morgana yelled.
“Who else knows your true identity?”
“Does Arthur know? Has he been lying to me too?”
“I do not know for sure who Uther trusted with his secret, but I can tell you that the one person who had always known is Gaius. He is the one who kept the record so he would know all of the details.”
Morgana knew for sure that Gauis had told Gwaine about her parents and her real father. She thought that is what they were talking about before she walked up. Morgana started to play the entire thing out in her head. She came up with all different reasons as to why Gaius would tell Gwaine. Until she finally decided that Gaius must have figured out that she had magic. Knowing that magic was outlawed and knowing her mother’s history Gaius would want to tell the King right away. Although, he would know that she was his daughter so he would want to approach the topic carefully. That would explain why he called in Gwaine.
As far as Gaius knows Gwaine had no connection to either the King or Morgana. He would be the perfect person to break the news to the king. Morgana continued running through her theory. All the while she would need to stay blind to the fact that Gaius knows the truth about her power. So he would be sure to tell Gwaine to keep everything a secret. Morgana thought she must have walked up just before Gwaine was leaving Gaius’s Chambers, and just to be clear with his orders Gwaine restated what Gaius would have said about keeping everything a secret.
“That is it!” Morgana blurted out.
“What is?” Morgause asked her clearly confused by her sudden outburst.
Morgana stood up and began circling around the room as she started to put together all of the pieces of the puzzle that was her life. Not only did her theory explain what she had overheard ealier that morning, but it also explained why Gwaine had not come to see her since they kissed.
“He did not hate me because I ran off. He has been avoiding me because he knows.” Morgana continued to speak her thoughts.
“Who knows? Knows what?” Morgause asked Morgana. She was beginning to worry about her friend, Morgana. It was obvious she was desperate to have everything in her life make sense. She was clearly trying to string everything together, but Morgause wondered if she was trying to handle too much at one time. “Morgana, why don’t you sit down? Tell me what you are thinking.”
Morgana snapped out of it and turned to look at Morgause. When she saw her friend sitting there staring up at her with such concern Morgana realized that she was completely wrong about Gwaine. He never cared for her. In his eyes she was just another challenge to win. Morgana shook her head and chuckled as she sat down and realized how pathetic she had been.