Take Me Home

I chewed on my bottom lip and readjusted the guitar case I slung across my shoulders. Each step Connor and I took closer to the pub I got more nervous. I could already hear the crowd of people waiting outside the pub and it made me stop dead in my tracks. Connor stopped beside me and looked at me carefully, she knew I was freaking out at the thought of trying to get through the crowd that was going to be, without a doubt, bigger than it had been the week before.

I shook my head at her, frozen in place. “Connor, I’m going to have an anxiety attack.”

“You can do it. We’ll get through the crowd and then we’ll be in the pub and it’ll be fine.” Connor tried to reassure me. “You’ll be fine.”

I nodded my head and tried to regain my composure as my best friend gently pushed me forward. I hated being in crowds. I hated the feeling of being stuck between people I didn’t know and being able to breathe fresh air. I hated not being able to see over people or the fear I was going to be trampled to death.

“How do they even know where they are all the time?” I asked, my voice shaking as we approached the crowd that was spilling into the streets.

“Internet?” Connor guessed and grabbed my hand and marched us straight toward crowd. We didn’t even get mixed into the mess of people before they recognized Connor from being seen around with Zayn. Cameras were flashing in our faces and people were screaming her name and suddenly the crowd was no longer focused on trying to get in the pub. People were surrounding us and I could feel myself start to panic as Connor squeezed my hand to remind me that she was there.

I silently thanked God for the bodyguards that took notice of our distress and pulled us out of the mob. Once inside the pub I was able to breathe normally but my legs were trembling as Connor and I walked to the stage. “Lincoln, are you okay?” I could hear the worry in her voice so I smiled and nodded my head.

“Fine.” I didn’t want to worry her, I hated when people worried about me.

“Are you sure?” she pushed.

“Yeah. I’m good.” I lied and set my guitar case down on the stage. “I’m just going to go get a drink.” I didn’t wait for Connor to respond as I set off to the bar.

I was overjoyed to see the pub’s owner behind the bar that night instead of his asshole son. He was a middle aged man who always looked happy and he smiled at me as I approached. “Rum and Coke.” He placed the drink in front of me as soon as I reached the bar.

“Thank you.” I smiled gratefully and watched him rush off to the opposite side of the busy bar.

“Hey.” I recognized the Irish accent and looked to my right to see that Niall has at my side.

“Hi.” I said quietly, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

“You alright?” he narrowed his eyes as he looked at me, like he was trying to pinpoint what was different about me.

“Fine.” I said, lifting my drink to my mouth with shaking hands.

“You’re shaking.” Niall observed.

I placed my drink back on the bar in a poor attempt to hide that fact that I was shaking. “It’s just really cold out tonight and I walked.” I lied and Niall knew it. He stared at me with one eyebrow raised but didn’t push the subject. “Just cold.”

“Alright well…I’ll see you later?” he asked, but his eyes were clouded with concern as he studied me. I nodded and picked my drink up and walked toward the stage where Connor had set up the mics and the stools we always sat on.

Connor eyed me carefully as I began to tune my guitar, I knew she was well aware of how shaken up I was. I held my drink out to her which she gladly accepted, and I hoped that was enough to convince her I was fine. I never liked to show any form of weakness. I hated when people worried about me. I liked to be independent and strong, I tried my hardest to take care of myself.

Connor took her time introducing us which I took as her giving me a few extra seconds to pull my shit together. I silently thanked her as I watched the way she smiled at Zayn when she spoke to the pub full of people. I smiled to myself, I was so happy to see her happy. She deserved it. Zayn was a great guy and I trusted him not to break her heart.

When we finally stepped off the stage at the end of the night I began to plan my escape route. I didn’t want to have another awkward moment of backing out of plans because I was too poor. I threw my coat on and slung my guitar case across my shoulders. “I’ll see you later?” I asked Connor while she slowly gathered her things.

“You’re not going out with us?” she asked with a pout.

I rolled my eyes “With what money, Connor?” I began to walk toward the bar to collect our grocery money while asking “Should I sleep on the sofa?” to which she shook her head and flipped me off. I grabbed the envelope full of cash and stuffed it in my pocket and made a break for it. I was almost at the door of the pub when out of nowhere Niall appeared and stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Thought you were coming out to eat with us?”

“I thought I made it pretty clear that I have no money.” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on my feet.

“Well I have plenty, I’ll pay.” Niall offered.

“Oh well aren’t you modest.” I rolled my eyes and pushed past him but he caught my hand and spun me around until I was facing him once again.

“It’s not like you don’t know it.” He laughed. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “I don’t like Chinese food.” I hoped that would be enough to deter Niall and allow me to go home and carry on with my original plans; having a cup of tea and reading until I fell asleep. However, it was hard to say no to food when my stomach had been empty since Liam practically force fed me pizza at movie night.

“We’ll get something else.”

“Did you see how excited Liam was? No, I’m not going to crush his dreams. You guys go have fun.” I dismissed Niall’s idea and began to walk away again.

“You and I can go somewhere else then.” Niall suggested.

“No.” I blurted out too fast and his eyes widened in suprise. It was one thing to tolerate Niall when we were in a group but hanging out with him alone was another thing completely. “No.” I repeated more calmly. “I’m tired. I just want to go home.”

“Let me give you a ride home at least.” Niall said but I couldn’t ignore the way his lips were pulled down into a frown and the way he was giving me his best sad puppy eyes. “Since you won’t let me buy you food.”

At the thought of walking home alone in the dark I threw my hands up in surrender. “Okay fine!” I agreed, opting for a warm ride home with someone I knew rather than walking home in the cold in constant fear of being mugged for what little money I had.

As Niall and I went our separate way, Connor was sure to wiggle her eyebrows at me suggestively and pelvic thrust in my direction. I narrowed my eyes at her and shook my head from side to side while mouthing ‘I hate you.’ The whole thing Niall and Zayn seemed oblivious to while Liam looked between us clearly amused.

After a body guard had to part the sea of people waiting outside, all of which were screaming and grabbing at Niall, we climbed into the back of a shiny black SUV. Niall was busy tapping away at his phone for which I was thankful because we honestly had nothing in common. I couldn’t possibly listen to him ramble about sports one more time. The only thing on my mind as I looked out the tinted windows was the mental list of groceries Connor and I would have to pick up in the morning.

When we came to a stop and I heard Niall open the door, I came back to my senses and looked out the window. We were not at my flat. Not at all. Instead the vehicle was parked outside of an Italian restaurant. I stared after Niall, with my mouth open in shock.

My door was pulled open and Niall grinned at me innocently “Come on.”

“This was not part of the plan. I did not agree to this.” I crossed my arms and turned my head away from him.

“Lincoln, stop being stubborn. I can hear your stomach growling.” He said looking at me like I was insane. To half of the female population, I probably was. I was probably certifiably mental for not falling all over Niall and going along with whatever he said. I should have been thrilled to go out to eat with someone as famous as him but I wasn’t. I was completely opposed.

“It’s not. I’m not even hungry.” I lied and prayed for my stomach to stay quiet. Unfortunately, I was betrayed when it let out a loud growl which made Niall laugh and pull at my arm.

“Let’s go.” He urged me and practically dragged me out of the car.

I was certain as soon as people found out about us going out to eat together, which they would, rumors of us dating would start flying around and that was the last thing I needed. Just as that thought occurred to me I heard the familiar click of a camera.