Take Me Home

In the days leading up to Christmas, the only thing going through my mind was the specifics of my dad’s death. A drunk driver had hit my dad’s car going south on the interstate on Christmas Eve, along with two other vehicles. My dad’s car rolled three times before it collided with another vehicle. My brother and I spent Christmas Eve pacing around the waiting room of the ICU. On Christmas morning, he died due to injuries sustained in the accident. All because someone was careless enough to drive intoxicated, my father’s life was brought to an end. If my dad had just left the office five minutes earlier he would still be alive and I’d probably still be in Georgia.

I had too much alone time on my hands. I wanted to be selfish and ask Connor to stay home with me instead of spending all of her free time with Zayn but I knew that the band only had a few weeks off before they headed out for another tour…and this one was a long one from what I had overheard Zayn telling Connor. I didn’t want to rob her of any time with him because she really liked him and from what I could tell he returned the feelings.

Instead, I was curled up on the sofa under two blankets watching Grease for probably the millionth time on the shitty excuse for a television that sat in or living room. The only thing it was good for was watching one of the few DVDs Connor and I owned. I heard a knock on the door and looked at my phone to check the time. It was still early and I wondered why on Earth Connor would be home so early. “Did you forget your keys again?” I yelled while I made my way to the door wrapped my blankets still. I pulled the door open ready to poke fun at Connor for being so forgetful but stopped when Niall was standing in the doorway

“Um…” I said, taken aback that he had the guts to show up at my door only a week after dinner incident…which of course was the same day he made a point to tell me he had feelings for me.

“Can I come in?” Niall asked. I eyed him cautiously as I leaned in the doorway. “I brought food.” He added and held up a Nando’s bag. I looked between him and the bag of food before I stepped aside and let him into the flat.

“I don’t mean to be rude…but what are you doing here?” I asked as I followed Niall into the kitchen.

“I just figured since Connor and Zayn had been spending a lot of time together you could use some company.” Niall said as he began to empty the bag of its contents and lay them out on the table.

“Oh.” Was all I said as I shifted uncomfortably in the doorway.

“Well come eat.” Niall laughed as he took a seat at the kitchen table. “I can’t eat all of this by myself.”

“I’ve seen you eat before, Niall.” I reminded him. “You can definitely eat all of this by yourself.”

Niall just laughed while he continued to shovel food into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in months. As comfortable as Niall seemed to be in this situation, I was anything but. I had a feeling that Niall hadn’t decided to come spend time with me on his own. Why would he after the string of terrible social interactions we’d previously had. I assumed Niall’s visit could be linked back to Connor or Zayn, who constantly seemed to feel bad about leaving me home alone. It was actually quite ridiculous how badly Connor felt for spending time with Zayn. I guess she was just worried that I would feel abandoned. I didn’t. I wasn’t five. I knew how relationships worked.

There was an uncomfortable silence while Niall and I ate. I tried to avoid his eyes at all costs but that wasn’t the easiest thing to do when it was just he and I alone at the kitchen table. I sat back and sighed, deciding just to get straight to the point. “So…why are you really here?” I asked which caused Niall to stare at me wide –eyed in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why are here? I’m sure there are millions of things you could be doing on Saturday night, being the big star that you are, so why are you sitting in a piece of shit flat wasting your time with me?” I raised an eyebrow in curiosity and bit my lip.

Niall was quiet for a few seconds while he registered my question. “Cause I like you.” I studied him intently. His cheeks were dusted with a light pink and his eyes were focused on the cracked tiles on the kitchen floor. “What you said outside of Zayn’s house is true…I don’t know you. I keep making that painfully obvious.” Niall laughed humorlessly to himself. “I’m really sorry about everything…I don’t know what I was thinking. I just want to be your friend…can we start over?”

I was silent for a few seconds before I mumbled “Okay.”

“Okay.” Niall repeated back to me with a smile.

We sat at the table quietly just looking at each other. I mentally kicked myself for forgiving him once again. I had no idea what it was with Niall, no matter how mad he made me I was always so willing to forgive him. It was so extremely out of character for me and I knew it. I also hated it because I knew sooner or later he’d just piss me off again. I guess I was really must have been lonely without having Connor around much because the next thing that came out of my mouth was:

“Want to watch a movie?”

Niall nodded and followed me as I led the way back to the living room. I stood before the small collection of DVDs Connor and I had and tucked my hair behind my ear. Niall stood beside me, looking through all the movies. “What do you want to watch?” he questioned.

I shrugged. “I’ve seen them all a million times so I don’t really care what we watch.” I told him honestly and made my way over to the sofa where I could hide from the cold under one of the two blankets that were thrown.
“Horror?” Niall asked.

“Sounds good to me.” I replied while I wrapped myself in blanket, pulling it over my head in attempt to make myself less visible.

I couldn’t really even pay attention to the movie that Niall chose. Instead, I sat on the sofa next to him wondering why in the hell I was making attempt to be his friend. Why did I ask him to watch a movie with me? Why did I agree to try to be his friend again when it failed miserably the last time I had tried? Most importantly, after everything he said to me about having feelings for me could I really expect him to accept the fact that we’d only be friends? I apply to term friend loosely in that situation.

By the time the remaining two survivors exited the woods covered in blood, dirt, and sweat I found myself to be utterly exhausted by my thoughts. I stretched and yawned but made no movie to turn the movie off. Instead, I let the credits rolls.

“I never saw that one before…I liked it.” Niall commented from beside me.

“It’s a good one.” I replied without much enthusiasm. I was tried and still questioning my decision to ask him to watch a movie with me.

“Want to watch another?” Niall asked catching me off guard. “I really don’t feel like going home yet.”

“Sure. Pick something.” I closed my eyes and yawned, only to re-open them when I felt the cushion sink beside me and the sounds of UP’s opening credits caught my ear.

“I thought you hated Disney movies.” I said and looked to Niall in confusion. He was looking straight back at me and in that light I could see the little bits of green in his eyes.

Niall shrugged and turned his attention back to the small television. I didn’t push the subject any further. We sat in a comfortable silence until Niall’s phone rang and he walked into the kitchen to answer it. I took his absence as my opportunity to spread out across the sofa until he returned. I was determined to stay awake for the duration of the second movie but all hopes of that were shattered as soon as I had my body sprawled across the sofa. Before Niall returned I was out like a light.

It only felt like a few seconds later that I woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. It tried to ignore it my buried my face into what I had assumed was the sofa. It took a few seconds for my sleepy brain to figure out that it wasn’t the sofa at all, it was a human. I opened my eyes in surprise and assessed my surroundings. My back was pressed against the back of the sofa and my chest was pressed against Niall. Sunlight was filtering in through the blinds, notifying me I had slept like this all night. I had no idea how we had ended up sleeping like that but when I made an attempt to move, Niall sighed with annoyance and hid his face in my hair.

“Hey!” I pushed on his chest. “Wake up. Your phone is ringing.”

“Let it ring.” He mumbled into my hair.

I sighed in defeat once his phone had stopped ringing, figuring he wouldn’t be moving any time soon. I wiggled my way out from between Niall and the sofa and went straight to the kitchen to make coffee. I made a point to glance at the clock as I waited for my coffee. I had three hours until I had to be at work. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, if I was trying to make a point to Niall that we were nothing more than friends…that definitely was not how to go about it.