Take Me Home

It took me all morning to get rid of Niall. No matter how much I hinted that I had to get ready for work he was content just lying on the sofa, looking at whatever he always looked at when he was on his phone. He was quiet until Connor and Zayn showed up, then he was practically talking their ears off. Of course, Connor kept sending me stupid looks when Niall informed them about our sleeping arrangements.

Connor also didn’t drop the subject when we walked to work together. “So…what exactly happened last night. I mean…I know you slept together but…” she trailed off and began to laugh.

I punched her lightly and laughed. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Well it’s true. You did.”

“I hate you so much. Just stop.” I laughed but kept my eyes on the ground.

“I’m just confused. Last time I checked you hated him.”

I shrugged and kept my eyes down. “I know. I don’t know…he came over with food and like apologized. And asked if we could start over and forget about everything that happened at Zayn’s and then at dinner.”

“Wait. What happened at Zayn’s?” Connor’s voice raised an octave or few when she asked. I slapped my hand over my face, annoyed at myself that I let that slip out of my mouth. I bit my lip but didn’t say anything as we continued to walk. “Lincoln! What happened at Zayn’s house?”

“When I left in the morning…Niall followed me out.”

“Right. And he offered to give you a lift home, right?”

“What? No.” I said shaking my head. “He came outside and was all bent out of shape because Harry and I had made out a little.”

“Annnnd…” Connor prodded and motioned with her hands for me to continue.

“And you know…he was like ‘I like you. I have feelings for you.’ And then…I freaked out and told him that he had no idea what he was talking about and that he didn’t know me.”

“Lincoln! Oh my God! Oh my God! My mind is literally blown right now…why am I just finding this out? So…you guys are okay now?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I guess…he said he just wants to be my friend but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea…because if we become actual friends it’ll be a miracle. I just don’t want him to get his hopes up thinking we’ll ever be more.”

“Sounds like you’re starting to care for him.” Connor bit her lip after she said that and looked at me expectantly.

“No!” I defended myself. “I just-I don’t want to this to come back to bite me in the ass.”

Connor looked less than convinced as we reached the Indian restaurant where we would part ways. “You know, it’s okay of you like him. You’re allowed to like people other than me.” She reminded me and I merely rolled my eyes in response before I continued on my way to the bakery.

Work seemed to drag on forever seeing as not many people seemed to be in the mood for baked goods on that particular day. Also, it didn’t help much that I was working with Ruby and all she ever seemed to talk about was Niall and his bandmates. She took fan to a whole new level. If she wasn’t asking about the details of what little friendship Niall and I had, she wanted to know every little detail about each of their personalities. Of course, I often disappointed her when I didn’t know the answers considering I tried to avoid them like the plague.

After a quiet walk home, I fought with the door to the flat and once it opened and I went toppling inside Connor had practically pounced on me. “Lincoln! Oh my God! Lincoln!” she was holding onto me with a death grip.

“What?” I asked cautiously, looking around for any sign of what she was so worked up about.

“Oh my God!” She screamed with excitement. “Ah! Lincoln. Lincoln. This is so good! I have the best news.”

“Well tell me!” I urged my best friend while I unbuttoned my coat.

“Zayn gave a copy of our demo to his record company.” She practically screamed while a smile stretched across her face. “You don’t look happy. Why aren’t you happy?”

“I am. I’m happy.” I threw my coat on the sofa. “I just thought we were trying to do this by ourselves.” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

“We are! You said it yourself, all we have to do is meet the right people and we did! We met the perfect people.”

“I don’t know. I guess.” I said and wondered toward the kitchen for a glass of water.

“What do you mean by that?” I could hear the distaste in her voice and I braced myself for an argument. They didn’t happen often between Connor and I but when they did they were pretty heated.

“Nothing. I’m excited.” I lied and reached for a glass out of the cupboard.

“Really? Because it sounded like you meant something. So just fucking tell me?”

“I just-It kind of feels like he’s only doing that because you’re dating him. That’s not what I had really meant when I said that we needed to meet the right people.” I tried to explain as calmly as I could when I felt like Connor had turned us into a charity case.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Connor screamed a lot more upset than I had ever expected her to get over what I had said. She was staring at me like she wanted to rip my face off. “You’re saying the only reason Zayn’s doing us this favor is because I’m fucking him?” she screamed. “Are you fucking kidding me, Lincoln! I’m glad you think so highly of me!”

“I didn’t say that!” I screamed in my own defense.

“You know what? I am so sick of you! You act like you’re better than everyone and you’re not. Okay! You’re fucking not. And excuse me if I’m trying to get our name out there as soon as possible. Unlike you, I don’t have a fucking trust fund waiting for me back home! Unlike you, I’m not just pretending to be a poor…I actually am. So fuck you, Lincoln. Grow the fuck up and get over yourself! You are a self-centered bitch! I can’t fucking stand you!” Connor screamed at me and stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her with so much forced the paintings that hung on the walls rattled.

I stood in the kitchen in complete shock. It had finally come out. Connor finally cracked and told me exactly what she thought of me. Hearing those words from your best friend, your only friend, felt like someone had stuck a knife in my stomach and turned it. I felt like the world had just crashed down on me. I couldn’t believe that she had brought up the money that was sitting in a bank account that had my name on it. She knew better than anyone that I wanted nothing to do with the life style that was waiting for me at home. She knew all about the painful memories attached to that money and she threw it in my face like it was nothing.

The tears were falling from my eyes so rapidly that I could barely see. I could barely think about anything when I felt like someone had just torn my heart out. I tried my hardest to hold the tears back. I knew one thing for certain and that was that I wasn’t going to stick around and let Connor hear me cry. I abandoned my glass of water and quickly put my coat on, grabbed my bag, and practically ran out the door.

Once I had gotten a good distance away from the flat I let my tears fall and let the sobs rip through my body. I was certain I had lost my only friend, the friend who had been at my side through hell and high water. As I roamed aimlessly through the streets of London crying my eyes out and shivering from the cold I couldn’t help but think about my brother and everything he had said when we last spoke. Maybe it was time for me to stop running. Maybe I needed to go back.

The thought of going back to Savannah made me cry even harder. I felt like everything I had set out of accomplish in London was turning into a failure. My best friend seemed to hate me and our music was gaining attention in the exact way be both agreed we never wanted it to gain attention. I felt lost and hopeless but I kept walking while I wallowed in despair. I couldn’t really be sure of how long I had been walking but I knew there was no way I could go back to the flat and face Connor. So I went to the only other person I really knew.

I stood in front of the door and took a deep breath and wiped my eyes free of tears before I rapped my knuckles against it. I closed my eyes, ashamed that I had to come here for help. I heard the familiar loud laugh before the door was pulled open and Niall stood there in grey sweat pants and a white tank top, looking at me like I had three heads.

“Lincoln?” He asked squinting his eyes to get a better look at me as I stood in the dimly lit hallway. “Are you crying?”

“No.” I lied and tried to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I just…um…wanted to see if you wanted to hang out.” I said pathetically with a sniffle as I heard an outburst of loud laughter from behind Niall. “But, uh, I can tell you already have company so I’ll just go.” I rushed and began to scurry away but Niall caught me by my wrist and pulled me inside.

“Lincoln, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Niall’s blue eyes studied my tear stained face. I finally accepted that I wouldn’t be able to convince Niall that I was fine.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head from side to side. “No.” I mumbled before the tears started to fall again.

Niall’s arms were around me in an instant, and for a few seconds there was silence on his end while I cried into his chest like a child. “Should I call Connor?” he asked quietly.

“No!” I practically screamed and lifted my head from his chest to look at his face.

Niall nodded once to let me knew he understood. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I swallowed the new lump that was forming in my throat and took a deep breath before I nodded. Niall grabbed my hand and led my right on by the group of guys that were in his living room. He ignored them when they called after us, wondering who I was and what was going on. Once we were inside Niall’s room, away from the noisy group of boys, he motioned for me to sit on his bed. I obeyed and he took a seat beside me.

“What’s going on?” Niall asked, looking at me with so much care in his eyes that I felt bad for ever being mean to him.

I took a deep breath and licked my bottom lip before I started to re-tell the entire story.