Landfill

Again, I was in my recliner, fighting a mid afternoon nap. The book Ryan had given me was good, but I had tea through most of it, and was fighting the sandman. I shut my eyes, folded my arms over my chest, and let sleep come.

It didn't feel long that I was asleep when I felt light. I was being carried; I opened my eyes and saw Ryan. I smiled, curling closer, "Good afternoon."

He chuckled, entering my bedroom, "You're gonna hurt your back if you sleep on that chair, sweetheart."

Ryan set me down on my bed, pulling the sheet over me. I kept on smiling at him, pulling a pillow beneath my head, "How was your job interview?"

He sat down on my bed, laying his head on my lap, "I now stack records and CDs at Record Mania."

"Congrats." I murmured, running my hand through his shaggy hair.

"Thanks." His large eyes looked up at me, "Wanna celebrate tonight?"

I chuckled, "Sure. Drinks?"

"My thoughts exactly," he sat up, making me feel sadden at the sudden loss of warmth of his body on mine, "My friend Jon is having a party, you could invite Elaine and Lisa."

I nodded, "Yeah, sure."

He smiled at me as he got up, "I'm gonna cook you lunch, because I doubt you ate anything since I left."

"I did eat toast," I told him pointedly, "And I read Wilderness."

"Ya did? Which is your favorite?"

I hummed a moment, "I'm not sure what it was entitled, but is goes: 'What are you doing here? What do you want? Is it music? We can play music.--"

Ryan cut me off as he continued it: "But you want more. You want something & someone new. Am I right? Of course I am. You want ecstasy. Desire & dreams. Things not exactly what they seem. I lead you this way, he pulls that way. I’m not singing to an imaginary girl. I’m talking to you, my self. Let’s recreate the world. The palace of conception is burning."

"Yeah," I bit my bottom lip, "I really like that one."

"Me too," he licked over his bottom lip, "It's my favorite."

"Thanks for giving me the book, too, by the way. I enjoyed it."

Ryan gave a small nod, "Yeah, no problem, Nikki." He exhaled, "I'm gonna go cook now. Call me if you need me."

I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes playfully, "Okay, dad."

Ryan chuckled and began to leave, "Someone's gotta take care of ya, Nick."

To my surprise, I didn't get annoyed that he called me Nick. I was coming around the the nickname. It wasn't like me, and I fought that stupid little devil telling me that he shouldn't call me that.

I simply smiled like a big, stupid girl and fell against my pillows. I hate how much I was smiling. It hurt, but it had a nice affect on my inside. I felt like jelly, I wanted to click my heels and squeal. Oi, being a girl is a gift and a curse.


I wasn't so sure as to why I was so nervous. I was with my friends, but being amongst Ryan's friends was a bit different. With The Bends by Radiohead playing loudly, Ryan maneuvered Lisa, Elaine and myself through his friend, Jon's home. It was filled with a lot of people, whom I've dubbed the virgins of the college campuses.

I kept ahold of Ryan's arm, with Lisa and Elaine daisy chaining along. Ryan stopped up by a beer pong game that was in progress; Brendon against a man with a mustache/beard combo. He laughed deeply, tossing his ping pong ball into a blue cup on the opposite end of the table; "Drink up, bitch!" He laughed loudly at Brendon.

Brendon rolled his eyes, taking the cup and downing it quickly. Upon dropping the cup from his lips, his eyes landed on me. He wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, "Nikki!"

I was a bit startled at his call, unsure of what to say, so I waved. I let go of Ryan's arm, waving my fingers at Brendon. He came over towards me, Lisa and Elaine stepped back as he engulfed me into a hug. He stunk of beer, and burped loudly over my head, "How are you?!" He asked, pulling away once my hands patted his back.

"I'm fine." I replied shyly.

Brendon grinned at me, "Wanna play beer pong?"

I blinked, looking at the table, "Uh... Okay."

He tugged me towards his end, and I saw Ryan on the bearded guys side. He smiled over at me, "Thats Jon," Brendon told me, "Ryan's totally gay for him."

I giggled to myself, scolding myself mentally. I stood beside Brendon, "Okay, what do I do?"

"Try and make this ball," he picked up the wet ping ping ball from the empty cup, "Into one of those cups on Jonny Boy's side."

"Then he drinks?" I asked curiously.

He nodded, "Yep. You'll be buzzed in a minute. Jon's wicked at this fuckin' game."

I blinked rapidly, watching Brendon step back. Jon -mustache/beard combo guy- stepped to the, "Ryan's gonna play against you."

I smirked at Ryan, "Really?"

He nodded, "You're gonna be so wasted by the end of this night."

"It's a good thing I'm a slacker." I muttered.

Jon filled red cups on my end and blue ones on Ryan's. Lisa and Elaine mingled with Ryan's friends, who all gathered to watch. Brendon was buzzed, telling random people who I was and that he thought I was cute. Drunken minds speak sober thoughts. I tried not to listen as more Radiohead songs played and I was handed a dry ping pong ball.

"Ready when you are, Darling Nikki." Ryan winked at me.

I rolled my eyes at him, tossing the ball into the first cup on his end. The crowd "ooh"ed in unison, and Ryan chuckled, downing the beer. He tossed the ball, missing one of my cups, causing him to groan. I went, missing the set of cups in front of him. Ryan's next shot made it, and I drank my cup of beer until it spilled out the sides of my mouth.

The game went on until I got buzzed way too quickly and kept missing. Brendon had pushed me to the side, "I'll defend your honor!" He cried.

I giggled, drunkenly standing aside; my vision was doubled. I somehow made my way to Ryan, clinging to him. He said something, but I was too drunk to put them together. I let him pull me wherever he wanted, and away we went.