Landfill

I sat on the tub now, with Ryan rubbing my back. I shut my eyes, rubbing my temples. My sickness was gone now, I only had a lot of questions.

"Do you feel better?" Ryan asked me. It was the second time he asked.

"I'm okay." I answered. "Tell me." I said after.

He kissed my temple, away from my fingers, "Nick, it's not bad."

"It is if you won't tell me."

"I shouldn't have said anything," he murmured. "I didn't think it'd make you sick."

"Is it bad?" I questioned, dropping my hands.

"No." He said. "It's okay. I just wanted to ask your opinion, alright? I never meant to make you so sick and angry."

"I'm not angry, I'm confused."

"Don't think about it," he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, letting my head rest against his chest. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," I jested softly. "Nearly killed me."

"Don't think about it." He kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Ryan."

I have no idea about love. What real love is. It never filtered in my head, I never wanted anyone before. Ryan's the first guy I ever really wanted. One that I actually felt some love for.

I was slowly tinkering with the thoughts of love in my head. That love made me forget what he must be keeping from me. But, I still had the knowledge that there was something he was holding back.

Did it bother me? Yes, but I couldn't force him to say anything. I'm not his conscience, I'm not any bigger than a voice to ask. A continuance of nuisance to him. I love him and I don't want to be a nuisance; I'm not in the business of picking at anyone who shouldn't be.

So, I held my tongue. I kept all little pickings and questions to myself. I just wanted to be loved and to love him back. I didn't want to know unless he wanted me to. I was willing to wait for the day he was ready.


I got up early the next day, with Ryan's hand slipping from my back. I had washed up and returned to my bedroom with him sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked so cute; "What're you doing up so early?" He asked.

"I'm gonna go get my computer." I told him as I began to dress.

Ryan pulled the blankets off of himself, "I'm comin' with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he pulled his jeans on, "I could use a coffee, too."

I could feel his eyes on me as I dressed; my skin heated up. I hated when he just watched, I wish he would say something. I turned to him once my panties and bra were on; "Don't stare."

His shirt was on, "Why not?" He had a playful smile on his face.

"Because, you make me self conscious." I opened the second drawer of my dresser, bending to get clothes.

Ryan came up behind me, his hand on my lower back; "Why? You're gorgeous."

"I can't help it," I stood up and slipped a t-shirt over my head. "I can't explain it, alright?"

Ryan kissed me, a quick, sweet kiss; "Sorry, sweetheart. I wasn't aware, but I am not gonna stop staring."

I rolled my eyes, "You're such a jerk."

He laughed while I pulled my jeans on, "I love you, Nikki."

"I love you, too, you idiot." I pecked his cheek. "Now, hurry up, I really wanna get my computer."


Ryan kept looking around when we entered the police department. I was wondering what was up with him, but I decided not to ask. I was sure he would come up with a weird excuse, so I didn't bother.

I had asked to see the officer, and then we waited a few minutes. When Officer Bridges met us, he led us back. It was pass the desks, and to a small room with lots of property that had yet to be claimed, with bars around it.

Officer Bridges signed this sheet and went inside the cell full of property and then showed me a laptop. I grinned, "Thats it!"

"Great," Officer Bridges noted. "Signed that sheet and it's all yours."

I squealed happily as began to sign the sheet in front of the cell. Ryan walked around me, "Where did you find it?" He asked.

"Some homeless man had it. It was among his possessions when we apprehended him." Officer Bridges explained.

I looked over, after signing; "Was he the one who robbed our apartment?"

"I don't think so." He answered. "Whoever burglarized your apartment was probably just looking for your money. The homeless man said a man gave it to him. That's a dead end, but at least you got it back."

I nodded happily, "Yes," I took it as he handed it to me. "It isn't broken?"

"Nope, it's in good condition... It at least, I think it is. It wasn't wet or damaged when we got it."

I exhaled, "Thanks." I hugged the laptop to my chest.

"Oh, you got a new ring?" Officer Bridges noticed.

I looked at my hand, "Oh! Oh, no. I found it in the elevator," I told him. "A big surprise, right?"

He hummed, "Sure. I'll adjust your claim."

"Thanks." Ryan replied.

"Yes, thank you," I said next. "You don't understand how happy I am to have this back."

"No problem, Ms. Navarro."

Officer Bridges led us out, and this time, Ryan didn't look around. He took hold of my hand as I shoved my laptop into it's case I had brought with me. I felt a billion times better.