Landfill

My feelings towards Ryan had slowly worn off by May; and by then the movie had wrapped and Shane was ready to start edit it all. I had seen clips and scenes, but I wanted to wait to see it in it's entirety with him. I must say, I was really impressed by all he had done.

I was falling harder for him.

After I had visited Ryan's grave, my mind had been clouded, but as I said, it wore away. I was easy easing into the relationship I had with Shane; I was always back and forth from LA and Summerlin. And, as I had promised, when filming had finished, I brought Shane over to meet my parents.

I was nervous at first, but once they embraced, all that flew out the window. Shane got on with my parents like a house on fire; like Ryan had. Though, Shane, my mom and dad didn't have anything in common -aside from me- they talked and talked. They mostly talked about the movie, what would happen next and then the topic of us.

By this time, we had been dating for almost 4 months. Everything was new to us, but it was like we had known each other forever. There weren't any secrets between us -except for the truth about Ryan- I knew almost everything about Shane, and he me. And when he met my parents, it was (almost) all out there. There wasn't anything left, except what we would do next, whatever natural things we would learn about one another.

My mom had gushed at Shane, admiring his smile, "He's a cutie!" She damn near pinched his cheek.

Shane had blushed, "Thanks, Mrs. Navarro."

"Call me Maddie."

I cringed at my mother's comfortable atmosphere towards him. It was like she was in love with him.

Shane gave a nod, smiling nicely at her. My dad had made small talk with him, asking if we had any plans. I was sort of confused, but Shane had taken my hand and smiled at me, "I was thinking that, uh, Nikki would move out to New York with me."

My brows shot up, and if I had been sipping at my water, I would've spat it out. I looked at him, "New York?"

He nodded, "After the movie is done."

Shane looked completely relaxed, but his eyes were darting from me to the table. I felt overcome with joy and nervousness; and a bunch of other crap I couldn't categorize. All I managed I spit out was, "Yes. Yeah, I want to."

His eyes met mine and he looked so relieved, "You want to?"

I nodded quickly, "Yes, I do."

The whole moment was almost like he had asked me to marry him. I was excited, I knew that this was what I needed to fully move on, and I hadn't had any doubts. I bit at my lip and hugged him. Shane chuckled and returned the hug, "I'm so glad you didn't say no."

I laughed, kissed his cheek upon pulling back from our embrace, "That would've been awkward."

Shane grinned at me happily and pecked my lips. All worry had gone away; if there had been any. I felt at complete ease; a little more in love with him, too.

My mom cheered for us and told us she was going to buy us cake. I was glad that both of my parents were great, happy with the fact I was with Shane. I wasn't sure what I would've expected otherwise.


The move to New York happened after the company got the final cut of the film. I hadn't seen it yet, but I didn't fret over it. I was so happy; it was well over a year since I had met Shane.

I never expected to feel such a way about him. He refueled inspiration in me; I had began to write more and more. It wasn't a love story anymore, I was writing, leaning towards, what I was used to. Gore, mystery; it all came over me; a flood of inspiration. This time, though, I had dug deeper into my writings, I did research and got my hands into everything. I wrote what I had experienced, but with twisted endings and events.

It was almost autobiographical.

It was near complete, and I let Shane read it. It was my way of explaining Ryan and what I had gone through. I figured since we were getting serious, I might as well let him know.

It was November, just before my birthday, when I had given the printed sheets to him. He looked at it, "I thought I was suppose to give you a gift."

I sat beside him, "This is the toughest draft." I told him humorously.

"What are you going to call it?"

I shrugged, "I dunno."

He flipped the pages, "Only 200 pages?"

"Yeah, well, I wanted it to revolve around the action. I cut out the lovey-dovey crap."

He gave a small laugh, "How gory is it, Nick?"

"Not that gory, but enough. I did research on bullet wounds and knife attacks." I joked, but it was also my way of changing the subject towards me.

He looked up at me, his voice cautious and curious, "Is this about what happened to you?"

I bit at my lip, suddenly nervous, "Yeah. The male character..." I cleared my throat, "He's based off my boyfriend-- ex-boyfriend."

Shane looked at me, "You never talk about him." He recalled quietly.

I bit at my thumbnail now, "His name was Ryan...George Ryan," I paused, "You guys have the same middle name."

He sat sideways to face me, my draft set on his lap, "You don't have to tell me, Nick, if you don't want to."

"I need to." I dropped my hand, setting it in my lap. "I was madly in love with him, I wasn't over him, not until 8 months ago, I just...I fell in love with you."

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, leaning in, "He died when you got that scar?"

I nodded, "Yeah. He and his friend...Ryan was stabbed and I wasn't informed what happened to Brendon." I recalled this with a blank look. "I felt guilty, for so many different reasons, but I'm getting over it."

"You don't gotta feel guilty, ya'know." He murmured.

"I know, but I still did...the guilt doesn't eat me up, I just feel bad. I miss Ryan," I looked up at him, "I just wish he was alive, he was really sweet to me. But," I exhaled, "I figured that this happened for a reason, because I met you and I'm happy."

His lips turned up and he kissed me. My stomach hatched so many butterflies, it clenched. I smiled at him as he ran his fingers up and down my arm, "I make you happy?"

I nodded, giggling, "Insanely happy."

He kissed me again, "I'm glad to, Nick. I love you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and pulling myself into his lap. His hands cradled my backside, and he let out a husky laugh. I replied, "I love you, too, Shane."