Landfill

"She cracked her head."

"I can see the blood, Ilene, I know."

My eyes fluttered, my head hurt and was swimming. I groaned and touched the back of my head; I felt wetness, liquid. "Ouch."

"Nikki, are you okay?" I heard Ilene's voice.

Nothing clicked right away.

"My head." I groaned. "Is it bad?"

I sat up slowly, eyes shut tight due to the raging pain soaring through my head.

"Not too much blood, you hit a crack." She informed me.

Slowly, I inched my eyes open and exhaled, and looked at my hand. There was blood, not a lot, but enough to make me squeamish. I swallowed and rubbed the blood away on my jeans. "What happened?" I asked myself.

"You passed out, sweetheart."

My eyes widened at the voice; the voice behind me. I scrambled to my feet, head growing dizzy; I shut my eyes tight, moaning out of pain. "Shit!"

"You need to sit down, Nick."

I opened my eyes again. There he was. My heart was beating out of my skin; "Ryan" stood a few feet from me.

He looked the same, some scruff around his jaw, but he was still the same. His hair was the same, clothes too. I was on the verge of throwing up.

"You need to get to a hospital." He started towards me but I back away.

"Don't you dare touch me!" My back hit the unit door. "Who are you?"

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me.

"Who are you?!" My head throbbed, ears ringing; I winced.

"It's me, Nikki. Ryan."

I doubted it. I shook my head, "No, no. You're not Ryan. Ryan's dead! He died! He died years ago! Who are you? Are his brother?"

He shook his head, "No, it's really me, Nikki."

I shook my head repeatedly, "No you're not! No you're not! Who are you?"

My entire body was in a wave of pain, sickness and nervousness.

"It's me, honestly, Nick. I can explain--"

"You're not Ryan." I muttered. "We buried him. He's out in a cemetery. Who are you?"

He started to walk toward me, and I ran to the other side of the unit. The adrenaline pumped through me; my entire body was running on it.

"It's me. I know your birthday, and I know your favorite color, movie, food."

I rubbed my face. "No."

He nodded, "Your middle name is Joy. Your birthday is November 9th. Your favorite color is green--"

"Shut up!" I snapped, "Those are easy to know! You--you...Ryan could've told you. You aren't him!"

"Yes I am." He replied softly.

Ilene came forward, "Nicole, this is all easy to explain."

"No. Nope. No." I muttered shortly. "There is no way in hell Ryan would hurt me like that. He wouldn't just break my heart by pretending to die. It's total bullshit!"

They were both quiet.

"You're not Ryan." I spat out.

My phone began to ring just then; my hand shook as I pulled it from my pocket. It was Shane. I swallowed and looked back at them, "I'm leaving now. You can keep playing your sick joke amongst yourselves, but I'm not having any part of it."

I began to pull the door up, head throbbing, and phone ringing; I was stopped. He grabbed my arm; "You have a scar on your knee from when you were a kid. It's shaped like an L; you told me you got it when you were riding your bike."

I paused, sickness washing through my belly. I turned around and glared at him. It was Ryan...it was him and it made me sick.

I raised my hand and smacked him across the face. Ilene had gasped; Ryan kept his head still to the right. Tears pooled my eyes, my lips trembling; "How could you do that to me?"

He looked back at me, "It's a long--"

I smacked him again. "I almost went crazy!" I screamed. "I felt so guilty for years! I still feel guilty!"

He sighed, "I'm sorry."

My legs shook now. "I hate you! How could you do this to me?!"

"Nikki--"

"5 years!" I continued, "5 years! Do you know what I went through?!"

"Yes!" He answered. "I've been watching you."

I stepped back, pushing his arm off of mine, "It was you! That feeling...that eerie feeling! You're such a creep!"

"I had to make sure that you were alright."

"I'm doing just fine now!" Tears rolled down my cheeks. "You..." I paused as my phone began to ring again.

I saw Shane's picture pop up and I sobbed. If it wasn't for Ryan, I wouldn't have Shane.

"You're a bastard." I bellowed. "You're a sick man."

Ryan's face didn't change. He just stared at me. "I'm sorry, Nikki. Just give me--" he advanced toward me again, but I put my hands up. "Let me explain to you--"

"No." I rushed away and pulled the storage unit door up. I rushed out, digging into my pocket for my keys.

As soon as I got into the car, I started it up and drove away as fast as I could. My body trembled as I drove; my head all over the place; the surging pain from the gash was bearable. I could drive home, I did, I just needed to get away.

It was all so foreign in my head. Ryan was alive; it was like something from a soap opera, not my life. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he just left me. He pretended to die and left me; I knew drove myself crazy with grief. I felt so guilty; I had been so terribly upset about being with Shane, when I had every right to.

I parked just outside my parents’ driveway and rested my head on the steering wheel. I put my hand to my gash; it was still bleeding, but not too much. My phone rang again, my hand dropped and I pulled it from my pocket. I lifted my head and saw Shane's picture again.

I began to cry and answered, "Shane--" I paused, unable to speak.

"Nick, what's wrong? Are you okay?" His voice was frantic.

"No," I sobbed, "I need you. I'm...I don't know what to do!"

"What happened?" He questioned urgently.

"Ryan." I sputtered, unable to continue.

"Ryan?" He asked, "Your boyfriend who died?"

I affirmed with a small noise from my throat. "He's...he's not dead."

"What do you mean?"

I sobbed and sobbed, then pressed my head to the steering wheel again. "I want to come home, Shane."

"It's alright, baby," he murmured, "I'll come down there and we'll go home together."

"Please." I sobbed.

"I'll be there in a few hours, Nick." He said softly, "Where are you?"

"Outside my parents' house." I informed him with a sniff of my nose.

"Go inside for me. Tell your folks that I'm coming. Tell them what's going on...I'm still confused."

"Okay." I replied in a soft tone.

"I love you, Nick."

More tears fell, "I love you, too."