Status: I wrote this for the contest, but idk should I enter it? I'm scared d:

Give Her Back to Me

1/1

I was going insane. Everything still smelled like her. Everything was still coated with her decorative touch. I couldn’t stop grazing my fingers over the photographs. Everything was still here, except a couple of stray clothing she’d taken with her.

She’d been long gone after I had gotten home. Our fish had died. The mail had piled up, and her flowers outside the window were wilting. Her perfume didn’t linger in the air as strongly as usual, it was faint and only clouded on fabrics.

I think the worst part was knowing I didn’t mean a thing. No note was left, no compassion in her exists. She didn’t call me and break up with me, and she let our fish die. That was the worst part. She didn’t care, there was no love left in her heart.

And I couldn’t get her out of my head.

No amount of alcohol could remove her, nor could it erase the memories that played back like a movie. A movie that showed all of the good times, all of the laughs. Every embrace, every passionate night, and every single moment where I’d felt happiness.

But that’s when it truly hits you, right? Just when you think things are perfect, the bomb drops. You’re going along so well, not stumbling over anything that comes your way. Until the wrecking ball hits and you can’t help but fall limp to the ground, powerless and in excruciating pain.

I heard her everywhere I went. I couldn’t forget. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I could remove her from my heart. I couldn’t stop that little laugh from running through my ears. No amount of prodding from my friends and relatives could remove me from my pit of despair.

I was aware of what they thought. They’d never trusted her, not once did they tell me they liked her. I knew this only made them hate her more. I also knew this made my brother angry, maybe even raged. My brother, though he is younger, is very protective of me. Due to the fact that my heart, in his eyes, is as fragile as glass. I’ve never believed that to be true, but I suppose if we’re being honest here- it is, oh yes it very much so is as fragile as glass.

And she dropped it, and not my glass heart is in smithereens.

Next comes the anger.

It’s been days without her, and I’ve been going mad. The despair had disappeared, and rage rolled into it’s set place. How dare she? How dare she leave me? She can’t just throw me away.

Alcohol only induced holes in my walls and broken frames. It made me rip the clothes out of her side of our closet and burn them. It made me sit for hours on the bathroom floor, contemplating if I should just give in now. While I’m ahead. While I still have my pride.

Pride. What a silly thing us humans made up to justify our pompous actions. What a ridiculous concept, one word can make it okay to think yourself special over others. We’re not special. I’m not special. She was special, but now- now she’s nothing.

How the tables had turned. She was my everything. My reason for waking up, my reason for breathing. My heart used to beat for her, she might as well had been holding it for me. She made my breathing irregular with just her smile, and she used to make my heart tug whenever she’d laugh.

Her laugh. God, that laugh could give a grown man chills. It was so cute, it just seemed to roll out of her thin lipped mouth. She had this one dimple that was out of place, it was located just a twinge south of where a dimple would commonly be found. She had a wide smile, and it was always a white one.

She used to be obsessed with her looks, spending hours adjusting her makeup. She always looked beautiful, and I always told her.

I’m a good boyfriend like that, which brings me back to why would she just leave me? Was it my being away too much? Or was it that she simply fell out of love with me? We were in love, that doesn’t just go away. That’s not how things work.

“Is this what my life’s going to be now? Just bouncing between self loathing despair and crippling rage? Fuck man, why can’t I just forget her?”
♠ ♠ ♠
alsjkdfha I got really carried away and wrote this before I've even been entered into the contest
but yeah, if I don't get entered I'll just remove the contest part from the summary c;
please comment if you like the story, it would mean the world to me!
xoxo
tiffiny