Disasterology

The doctor said that I would be able to leave the hospital today but…

…I don’t want to face Kellin again.

I don’t need a reminder of how I failed to end me and why I did it.

“Hey, Vic.”

I opened my eyes to see Mike standing in the doorway. “Hey…”

“Are you ready to go?” I nodded and got up from the bed.

Mike signed the papers to release me from the hospital, then we made our way to his car.

I relaxed against the seat and closed my eyes again.

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“Vic. Come on, wake up.” Mike nudged me in the arm.

I groaned and opened my eyes again. I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep forever…

I looked around and noticed that we weren’t home, but at the café instead.

“What are we doing here?” “Well…we haven’t been here in a while. I thought it would be nice.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile as we walked inside. I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Thanks, Mike.”

We ordered our usual drinks and sat by the window, talking about random things that passed through our thoughts.

He didn’t ask me about why I tried to kill myself the day before. We already talked about it. I didn’t give him a reason, he was still pissed, but he understood that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

I did enjoy being like this though. Just the two of us hanging out, like old times.

But, I’ll have to go home soon.

I guess I have no choice but to face the music. Unless…

“Mike…do you think I can stay at your place… just for tonight?”

He gave me a questioning look.

“Please…?” “Sure.”

I smiled and finished off the rest of my drink. “Thanks a lot.”

“No problem, but you’ll have to go home tomorrow. Kellin’s probably worried sick right now.”

I bit down on my lip and nodded.

If only he knew…

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“Hey! Look what I found!”

I paused the videogame that I was playing to look at Mike. He held a book and a couple of packages in his arms.

“They’re some of our old and new photos.” My eyes widened. “Really?! Let me see!”

He sat next to me on the floor and dumped the photos in the package out.

We went through birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, Independence Day, and some other random days during the summer, laughing and reminiscing the stupid things we did. We even found some of the pictures that I took every time we went to the beach.

“Aw what the hell?!”

I looked at the picture that Mike held in his hand and started to laugh my ass off.

I took a picture of Mike trying to get sand out of his swim trunks.

“Every time we went to the beach, you’ve always managed to get sand in your trunks!” I continued to laugh.

He groaned and punched me in the arm.

We continued to look through pictures with the occasional laugh or comment.

I picked up one photo that caused my heart to swell.

It was the picture that Mike took of Kellin and I sitting next to each other on the swings, holding hands.

A tear escaped and landed on the photo.

“Vic? What’s wrong?”

I wiped the tears away and showed him the picture.

“Aww…Vic…”

More tears fell as he pulled me into a hug.

“It’ll be okay, Vic. Kellin will get his memories back. Everything will be back to normal.”

“H-how can y-you be so sure o-of that…?!” I said in between sobs.

“I’m not. We just have to keep our faith and hope high. Okay? Now come on. Let’s go to bed.”

I nodded and followed him upstairs.

The thing is…I’m starting to lose my hope really quickly…

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“Thanks for letting me stay, Mike.” “It’s really no problem at all. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. Love you, bro.” “Love you too.”

I got out of the car and closed the door behind me. He drove off, so there was no turning back.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down before I walked inside.

“Kellin…I’m home…”

No response.

I walked upstairs and saw that the piano room was open.

But…I didn’t leave it unlocked.

I quickly walked into our bedroom.

He was on the bed, knees to his chest and hands tugging at his hair. He was crying and shaking slightly.

“What…happened…?”

“What?” I didn’t move.

He looked up at me. “What the hell happened in that room…?! Why was it locked…?! And why was there blood on the floor?!” I felt my stomach churn.

“You unlocked the door?!” “Tell me what happened!”

“I already told you that you that it’s better if you don’t know!” Anger started to boil.

“Don’t give me that bulls**t!!! I have a right to know!!!”

I clenched my fists.

“FINE!!! You want to know what happened?!”

I saw him shrunk into the bed a little, but it was too late.

“The reason that door was locked was because I hate it! Why?! Because that room is where you were beaten, raped, and almost killed by some sick f**k while I was at work!!! That is where some of your f**king scars came from!!! I spent three f**king days trying to clean up the bloodstains from the floor, even though I knew they wouldn’t come out!!! And that room is the f**king reason why you have lost your damn memory!!! Is any of this ringing a f**king bell?! Huh, Kellin?!”

He stared at me, wide-eyed with tears pouring down his cheeks. My heart dropped into my stomach.

“I…I was…raped…? I almost…died…? The blood on the floor…was…mine…?”

Oh no…

What have I done…?

“Kellin…! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for any of that to slip out!”

He got up and pushed past me, locking himself in the bathroom.

“Kellin…! please! Open this door…! I’m so so sorry!” No answer.

I groaned and punched the wall in frustration, tears spilling from my eyes.

Why am I such a screw up…?! I hurt Kellin…the guy that I love to oblivion…! Why do I manage to mess everything up…?!

I wiped the tears away as I searched for a pen and a piece of paper.

I sat down on the bed and started to write.

“Whoever finds this letter…I want you to pass along this message…”