I'll Carry You Home Tonight
Chapter 14
After a few days of being taught the basics for Zilah we where discharged from the hospital with Jack by my side I knew I could do it, we arrived back home to doting grandparents.
3 months passed relatively quickly and Zilah was growing fast, I awoke one morning hearing Jack and Zilah giggle from down stairs I smiled and stretched happily feeling like everything had fallen in to place I walked down the stairs picking the mail up from the door mat and entered the front room,
“Wave to mummy Zilah”
Jack gently moved her arm in a waving motion, I smiled and walked over kissing jacks head and sitting down shuffling through the post I came across a brown envelope addressed to me, I furrowed my brow and placed the rest of the post on the sofa next to me,
“Whats that baby?”
“I’m not sure” I ripped the envelope open and pulled out the white paper “It’s from Nate’s lawyers he wants a DNA test”
“He can have one then, I don’t care either way I’ll still have this beautiful angel in my life”
He kissed Zilah’s head in adoration, every inch the doting father that I never had, he was perfect.
I showed the letter to Jacks mum she seemed pretty pissed to say the least,
“How dare he try breaking up this family, I knew he wasn’t to be trusted I knew it but no he’s fine mum he’s my friend mum!” She mocked “I’ll give him a fucking DNA test!”
I agreed to the DNA test to keep the peace, there was 3 painful weeks to wait before the day of the DNA test was booked for.
The day before the test arrived and I nerves and heart break ate away at my being, I put Zilah to bed and sat on the decking inhaling deep breaths of nicotine pondering the fate of Zilah’s future and worrying about how mine and Jack’s relationship would turn out after the results. I threw my stub in to the darkness and walked through to the dining room, silently opening the liquor cabinet I pulled out a bottle of vodka and hid it up the sleeve of my hoodie and made my way upstairs in to the bathroom, I locked the door and sat in the shower cubicle slowly unscrewing the lid of the glass bottle the metal seal broke with a satisfying crack, I took a mouthful of the bitter liquid and smiled as a burning sensation slid down my throat, before too long the bottle was empty and my head was pleasantly fuzzy, I hid the bottle in the cupboard under the sink and made my way in to the bedroom, I smiled at Jack’s sleeping form, he looked so young with out his glasses on, he was beautiful. I climbed in to the bed as quietly as I could, snaking my arms around his muscular torso.
He rolled over with a goofy grin on his face
“Hey baby”
I smiled and giggled slightly, Jack recoiled in horror
“You stink of vodka have you been drinking?”
“A little”
“Amber for fucks sake I know you’re nervous but this won’t help do you want Nate to take Zilah away?”
Tears pricked my eyes and they began to fall quickly as I realised Zilah may end up just like me, it broke my heart. I allowed Jack to sober me up with endless amounts of coffee and cold water.
We talked late in to the night, chatting until the first rays of dawn punched through the black of night and I realised that the paternity test was just a few hours away.
Jack held my hand and lead me in to the bathroom confused at what he was doing I stayed silent and watched him as he locked the door and glided back over to me, wrapping his muscular arms around my waist, he pulled me in for a soft kiss and began to gently peel off my clothes I returned the favour until we where both completely naked he escorted me over to the shower and began to run the hot water we stepped in he just held me as the warm water washed away the pain, we stood for about 30 minutes just holding each other until Zilah woke up and began crying for her first feed of the day. Jack gently kissed my head and stepped out of the shower, he helped me out and wrapped me in a towel and then himself and we walked through to the bedroom as I dried myself off Jack fed Zilah, she gurgled happily and burped when she was done, Jack giggled and began to dress her in his favourite outfit for her a tiny pair of blue skinny jeans and tiny lilac “birdie forever” jumper with her pink socks she looked adorable, Jack and I dressed smartly him in a suit and me in my favourite blue skater dress and black heels, I nervously applied my make up and then took Zilah down stairs to get her in the car.
We drove downtown in silence Jack visibly nervous and constantly adjusting his collar and running his hand through his short dark hair.
We walked in to a small office and sat down on a small black leather sofa, after a few minutes of silence Nate strode in arrogantly and sat down opposite us smiling at Zilah, he made me feel sick.
We where called in to a small dimly lit room and sat opposite a smart looking doctor who explained the procedure to us in blatant English so there was no confusion, Jack held Zilah as the doctor swabbed her cheek, he then moved on to Jacks and finally Nates.
He smiled at us an disappeared for a few moments before returning,
“Okay so we can fast track this or do the usual process it will take about 3 weeks for the results if you don’t fast track”
“And how long does the fast track take?”
“About 3 hours there will be another charge of $400 for the fast track service”
I looked down and bit my lip I couldn’t afford that and yet I didn’t want to torture myself for three weeks not knowing where Zilahs future was a deep voice slammed my train of thoughts to a stop
“We’ll go for the fast track”
I looked over at Jack and the doctor smiled at us
“We’ll get the samples off now if you would like to go out and pay the receptionist ad leave a contact number we will be in touch as soon as your results are in”
I nodded and stood to leave, making my way out in to the fresh air crying
“Jack we can’t afford that!”
“Don’t worry baby I’ll call my mum and get her to drop the cash off its fine”
He was soon explaining the situation to his mother over the phone and gave me a quick thumbs up, before too long his mother was there and ready to pay the receptionist she handed the money over and put her arms over mine and jacks shoulders
“C’mon kids, lets go for coffee”
At a small coffee shop she ordered the drinks I couldn’t stomach the liquid and ran to the bathroom my stomach heaving and my throat going dry my eyes streaming I wretched as a flurry of part digested food left my body. I flopped back on to the floor to catch my breath, as my body hit the cold floor fatigue set in, I began to drift off a voice awoke me
“Amber sweetheart your results are back, we need to get back to the office”
“Oh, uh okay”
I stood up and flushed the toilet, how long had I been asleep?
I opened the door and saw Jacks mothers concerned face looking back at me
“So whats going to happen If she’s Nates?”
“Nothing things will remain the same she will just spend time with him occasionally he will still be her Dad but only Jack will be her father”
She smiled and pulled me in to a tight hug
“You’re a brave girl Amber”
“I have to be”
We got back to the office and where each handed a piece of paper, I scanned through it my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach and tears flooded my eyes I began to feel nauseous again
“Nate Ruess – Father, Positive DNA Match”.
3 months passed relatively quickly and Zilah was growing fast, I awoke one morning hearing Jack and Zilah giggle from down stairs I smiled and stretched happily feeling like everything had fallen in to place I walked down the stairs picking the mail up from the door mat and entered the front room,
“Wave to mummy Zilah”
Jack gently moved her arm in a waving motion, I smiled and walked over kissing jacks head and sitting down shuffling through the post I came across a brown envelope addressed to me, I furrowed my brow and placed the rest of the post on the sofa next to me,
“Whats that baby?”
“I’m not sure” I ripped the envelope open and pulled out the white paper “It’s from Nate’s lawyers he wants a DNA test”
“He can have one then, I don’t care either way I’ll still have this beautiful angel in my life”
He kissed Zilah’s head in adoration, every inch the doting father that I never had, he was perfect.
I showed the letter to Jacks mum she seemed pretty pissed to say the least,
“How dare he try breaking up this family, I knew he wasn’t to be trusted I knew it but no he’s fine mum he’s my friend mum!” She mocked “I’ll give him a fucking DNA test!”
I agreed to the DNA test to keep the peace, there was 3 painful weeks to wait before the day of the DNA test was booked for.
The day before the test arrived and I nerves and heart break ate away at my being, I put Zilah to bed and sat on the decking inhaling deep breaths of nicotine pondering the fate of Zilah’s future and worrying about how mine and Jack’s relationship would turn out after the results. I threw my stub in to the darkness and walked through to the dining room, silently opening the liquor cabinet I pulled out a bottle of vodka and hid it up the sleeve of my hoodie and made my way upstairs in to the bathroom, I locked the door and sat in the shower cubicle slowly unscrewing the lid of the glass bottle the metal seal broke with a satisfying crack, I took a mouthful of the bitter liquid and smiled as a burning sensation slid down my throat, before too long the bottle was empty and my head was pleasantly fuzzy, I hid the bottle in the cupboard under the sink and made my way in to the bedroom, I smiled at Jack’s sleeping form, he looked so young with out his glasses on, he was beautiful. I climbed in to the bed as quietly as I could, snaking my arms around his muscular torso.
He rolled over with a goofy grin on his face
“Hey baby”
I smiled and giggled slightly, Jack recoiled in horror
“You stink of vodka have you been drinking?”
“A little”
“Amber for fucks sake I know you’re nervous but this won’t help do you want Nate to take Zilah away?”
Tears pricked my eyes and they began to fall quickly as I realised Zilah may end up just like me, it broke my heart. I allowed Jack to sober me up with endless amounts of coffee and cold water.
We talked late in to the night, chatting until the first rays of dawn punched through the black of night and I realised that the paternity test was just a few hours away.
Jack held my hand and lead me in to the bathroom confused at what he was doing I stayed silent and watched him as he locked the door and glided back over to me, wrapping his muscular arms around my waist, he pulled me in for a soft kiss and began to gently peel off my clothes I returned the favour until we where both completely naked he escorted me over to the shower and began to run the hot water we stepped in he just held me as the warm water washed away the pain, we stood for about 30 minutes just holding each other until Zilah woke up and began crying for her first feed of the day. Jack gently kissed my head and stepped out of the shower, he helped me out and wrapped me in a towel and then himself and we walked through to the bedroom as I dried myself off Jack fed Zilah, she gurgled happily and burped when she was done, Jack giggled and began to dress her in his favourite outfit for her a tiny pair of blue skinny jeans and tiny lilac “birdie forever” jumper with her pink socks she looked adorable, Jack and I dressed smartly him in a suit and me in my favourite blue skater dress and black heels, I nervously applied my make up and then took Zilah down stairs to get her in the car.
We drove downtown in silence Jack visibly nervous and constantly adjusting his collar and running his hand through his short dark hair.
We walked in to a small office and sat down on a small black leather sofa, after a few minutes of silence Nate strode in arrogantly and sat down opposite us smiling at Zilah, he made me feel sick.
We where called in to a small dimly lit room and sat opposite a smart looking doctor who explained the procedure to us in blatant English so there was no confusion, Jack held Zilah as the doctor swabbed her cheek, he then moved on to Jacks and finally Nates.
He smiled at us an disappeared for a few moments before returning,
“Okay so we can fast track this or do the usual process it will take about 3 weeks for the results if you don’t fast track”
“And how long does the fast track take?”
“About 3 hours there will be another charge of $400 for the fast track service”
I looked down and bit my lip I couldn’t afford that and yet I didn’t want to torture myself for three weeks not knowing where Zilahs future was a deep voice slammed my train of thoughts to a stop
“We’ll go for the fast track”
I looked over at Jack and the doctor smiled at us
“We’ll get the samples off now if you would like to go out and pay the receptionist ad leave a contact number we will be in touch as soon as your results are in”
I nodded and stood to leave, making my way out in to the fresh air crying
“Jack we can’t afford that!”
“Don’t worry baby I’ll call my mum and get her to drop the cash off its fine”
He was soon explaining the situation to his mother over the phone and gave me a quick thumbs up, before too long his mother was there and ready to pay the receptionist she handed the money over and put her arms over mine and jacks shoulders
“C’mon kids, lets go for coffee”
At a small coffee shop she ordered the drinks I couldn’t stomach the liquid and ran to the bathroom my stomach heaving and my throat going dry my eyes streaming I wretched as a flurry of part digested food left my body. I flopped back on to the floor to catch my breath, as my body hit the cold floor fatigue set in, I began to drift off a voice awoke me
“Amber sweetheart your results are back, we need to get back to the office”
“Oh, uh okay”
I stood up and flushed the toilet, how long had I been asleep?
I opened the door and saw Jacks mothers concerned face looking back at me
“So whats going to happen If she’s Nates?”
“Nothing things will remain the same she will just spend time with him occasionally he will still be her Dad but only Jack will be her father”
She smiled and pulled me in to a tight hug
“You’re a brave girl Amber”
“I have to be”
We got back to the office and where each handed a piece of paper, I scanned through it my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach and tears flooded my eyes I began to feel nauseous again
“Nate Ruess – Father, Positive DNA Match”.