One in a Million

Two of the longest weeks had passed since Serena was born, and her mother died. I could at least eat normally now and wasn’t crying myself to sleep as much. I felt bad, because Bryan rocked me to sleep the first few nights cooked all my meals made sure the two of us were comfortable, and never once complained or rushed me. He was probably the strongest person I knew and thanked God for him every day.

I drew in a deep breath tightening my tie and Monte stood at my bed tucking Serena in her car seat, so I could finish getting ready. “Thanks Monte you really are the best.” I sighed and gave him the best smile I could. Things HAD gotten a little better, but today, today would be the hardest day I’d faced since then. Today was her funeral. I picked up the handle to see my smiling baby looking up at me cooing and gurgling all made up. “Come on baby girl lets go see momma.”

I sat in the front pew cradling Serena while mom held my arm Mary sat beside her and Monte was on my other side, and all of our friends filled the pew behind us. Craig, Robert, TJ and even max kept a hand on my shoulder the entire time and it really did help, but I couldn’t help but to cry. I missed her and it hurt. I felt so robbed, and yet so blessed. Serena whined whenever a stray tear hit her face and I’d just shush her and wipe it away and rock her.

After the eulogy was read, the guys stood up after the priest closed the casket, and picked her up. Everyone else except for me and Serena stayed seated. She and I followed our friends to the grave dug beside her mother. They sat her casket down on the belt and we all just stood and watched as she made her final decent. They had all begun to walk back when I couldn’t hold it together any longer.

I felt Serena leave my arms as I collapsed into sobs on my knees. I went deaf and all I could hear her say was good bye Mike thank you for the time, I’ll be watching you both. I don’t know how long it took for me to snap out of it, the first thing to come back was my sight I was disoriented, then I heard Serena crying and Monte desperately trying to calm her down. I rushed to get her back in my arms and whispered to her.

“Mike what just happened to you man?” Max asked concerned as the six of them got me into the meeting hall and sat down. “One minute your up and the next Monte say’s “Oh shit,” grabs the baby and you are face down in the mud.” I looked at him as my mother ran over with a cold cloth to clean up my face. “I don’t know Max I guess she called me away for a few minutes to say her final goodbye.” Everyone stopped when I said that and everyone looked down. Serena looked up and raised her little hands and then started to cry and we all knew that’s what had to be the truth. I rocked my little love as Leila walked up to Craig and grabbed his hand and shyly smiled at me. Gab shortly joined behind them, and I chuckled “Leila, wanna hold Serena?” She nodded and looked to her parents who pushed her over. My mother grabbed Leila a chair and we got her sat properly. “Now Leila you have to support her head like this ok.” She nodded with an Mm Hum and I sat her in her arms to get a giggle from both of them and Leila cooed over how soft the baby was.

Today may have been the hardest day to get through, but it was worth it to see the magic that unfolded. Life is so precious. However from here on its just going to be my daughter and myself. Yeah I’ll have the guys to help, but I already know Serena and I are going to have to move out and on soon, I can’t burden my brother forever.