Status: Working on it
Falling Falling Snow
2/4
I'm doing it again. It's my fifth glass tonight, almost empty. I only have one more bottle left and three cigarettes. That's hardly going to last me the night. I thought that drinking would give me a more elated, happier feeling, but tonight it's completely gone the wrong way. Even after the shots I took, I still feel like utter shit.
I swish the red wine around in my glass, and then gulp all of it down. I hate wine. I'd prefer to be drinking vodka or something, but wine is all that I had. Well, all that my room-mate had. I'll have to buy her it back tomorrow or when I have money.
It's just... tonight is the night that you left me, you left me alone in the snowy park exactly a year ago. A year, huh? It's been a year since I've seen you. A year since I begged, cried for you not to leave me. A year since you pushed me off you and left me alone, just laying there in the snow.
It's rather pathetic, isn't it? A year without seeing you. A year without hearing you call my name, a year without touching you, a year without kissing you. No contact whatsoever. You always did make yourself hard to contact though, even when you were still here.
I open the other bottle and fill up my glass once more. I started drinking to fill the void just four days after you'd left. The first three days I didn't leave my bed, but then Jade just had to go and drag me out of bed, forcing me to get up and get ready because we were supposedly going out that night so I could stop being so miserable.
Once I had a few beers down me I felt fantastic. I was happy. Jade and I hit up the dancefloor. And soon enough, I was going out most nights, with or without Jade. I was kissing strangers and taking them home, hoping that it would be enough.
Without alcohol in my system, I feel empty. Alone. Like an empty staircase that nobody uses because the elevator is right there. And when I sleep, I dream of him. The dreams are never nice.
I sip on my red wine, and then I slip a cigarette into my mouth, lighting it with the candle that's sitting in front of me. My only light, for tonight.
Jade's asleep in her room, I can hear her snore. She doesn't know, or at least, pretends not to know what I'm like, how I'm destroying myself, over you. I think it makes her sad and I really want to cheer her up but how can I possibly cheer others up if I'm broken myself?
I swish the red wine around in my glass, and then gulp all of it down. I hate wine. I'd prefer to be drinking vodka or something, but wine is all that I had. Well, all that my room-mate had. I'll have to buy her it back tomorrow or when I have money.
It's just... tonight is the night that you left me, you left me alone in the snowy park exactly a year ago. A year, huh? It's been a year since I've seen you. A year since I begged, cried for you not to leave me. A year since you pushed me off you and left me alone, just laying there in the snow.
It's rather pathetic, isn't it? A year without seeing you. A year without hearing you call my name, a year without touching you, a year without kissing you. No contact whatsoever. You always did make yourself hard to contact though, even when you were still here.
I open the other bottle and fill up my glass once more. I started drinking to fill the void just four days after you'd left. The first three days I didn't leave my bed, but then Jade just had to go and drag me out of bed, forcing me to get up and get ready because we were supposedly going out that night so I could stop being so miserable.
Once I had a few beers down me I felt fantastic. I was happy. Jade and I hit up the dancefloor. And soon enough, I was going out most nights, with or without Jade. I was kissing strangers and taking them home, hoping that it would be enough.
Without alcohol in my system, I feel empty. Alone. Like an empty staircase that nobody uses because the elevator is right there. And when I sleep, I dream of him. The dreams are never nice.
I sip on my red wine, and then I slip a cigarette into my mouth, lighting it with the candle that's sitting in front of me. My only light, for tonight.
Jade's asleep in her room, I can hear her snore. She doesn't know, or at least, pretends not to know what I'm like, how I'm destroying myself, over you. I think it makes her sad and I really want to cheer her up but how can I possibly cheer others up if I'm broken myself?
♠ ♠ ♠
[I originally planned only on writing two parts to this story, however I changed my mind and have decided to add on an extra two parts to delve into the story a little bit deeper before I wrap it up.]