Losing Him Was Blue!

Three Days Later
I stepped out of the cab that dropped me off outside of Claude’s house. I had Lucia by the hand and my duffel over my shoulder.

My Dad paid for a ticket home and told me if I needed to get away, he invited me back home with him and Carrie, but I declined. If I needed to get away, I’d just move out on my own. I’m 20, I really don’t want to be living with my parents anymore… especially having a baby.

I sucked in a deep breath and walked past my Jeep sitting in the parking garage, and climbed up the porch steps, using my key to unlock the door and we stepped inside. Here we go. I dropped my bag by the door and kicked off my boots, as I helped Lucia get her coat and mitts off.

She shook her hair once she got her hat off and ran through the house. “Dad,” She screamed out. My heart stopped while I was hanging up our stuff. She didn’t just… call Claude… Dad… did she? “Daddy! I’m back,” Fuck. This just keeps getting better and better.

“So, you came back,” Claude appeared at the top of the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “I was wondering when you’d come back,” It was 1 in the afternoon, was he seriously sleeping? I surveyed the house, seeing pizza boxes and beer cases cluttering the room. I rolled my eyes.

“I said we’d be back on the 19th,” I scrunched my eyebrows together and hung up my coat. “I got your e-mail, and I can’t believe you actually want me to apologize,” I crossed my arms over my chest. “No family is perfect, Claude,”

He came down the stairs and stepped in front of me, backing me into the door. “You had no right to scream at me like that!” His eyes were dark. My heart began racing. “I was kidding with you. You honestly think my parents are better than yours. At least your Dad kept his pants on and your Mom wasn’t sauced the entire time. My sister with her flood of different boyfriends. You’re family is a walk in the park compared to my family,”

“I was hurt, Claude…” I put my hands on his shoulders. “My brother and I were arguing because I didn’t tell him about Lucia’s Dad and I,”

“It seems like you are still on about him,” He walked away from me, letting my arms drop to my sides. “You don’t appreciate that I am sitting right here with you and you tell me you are over him,”

“Maybe I am not over him, but is he honestly knocking my door down to work things out? No, so I decided to move on with you. I like you Claude, and I have a daughter with him, no matter what I do, he’ll always be a part of who I am and who she is,” I frowned. “It doesn’t matter. I want to be with you, Claude,” Gee. That was the biggest lie I ever told someone in my life. I didn’t really want to be with Claude, but I had nowhere else to go. I felt like I was fooling myself, into thinking that I wanted Claude.

“Dad,” Lucia’s voice called from the doorway. Claude knelt down and let her run to him. “You fight?” She frowned, her big brown eyes filling with tears.

Claude picked her up in his arms. “No, Mom and I are talking… we are okay,” He wiped the tears off her cheeks. There was no denying he was good with Lucia, really good with her.

“Claude…” I frowned. “I really don’t want her calling you Dad…” Claude frowned and set Lucia on the ground, telling her to go to the kitchen to grab a juicebox. “I just… I don’t want to get her confused and I really want her to know who her real Dad is,”

Maybe Sid and I will never get back together, or have that fairytale relationship, but I wanted Lucia to know who he was and the kind of person he was. It would break Sidney’s heart more knowing she was calling someone else ‘Daddy’ and not him.

“You said it yourself he hasn’t been around since you were pregnant for her, she wouldn’t know the difference,” He argued. I frowned. “I get what you are saying, Em, if I had a daughter, I’d be pissed if she was calling someone else Daddy,”

“I don’t want to be a bitch, Claude. I mean, you’ve been here when he wasn’t, you are pretty much all she knows,” I tried to sweeten what I was saying, without being a total twit about it. “But if you knew the person I fell for, you’d want Lucia to know him. I want Lucia to know him,”

“I’ll try and set Lucia straight,” He sighed. “Oh, we’re setting up the tree today,” He turned and walked into the kitchen. I heard clinking and the coffeemaker started up.

= = =
“I’ll be right back, Loosh,” I explained, as I got up out of the sandbox and headed back for the house when I heard my cell ringing. It had to be Farrah telling me they had finally got a house. Her, Jeff and Carter had went into Manhattan yesterday to look at houses and we’re hoping to be moved in or have a house by Christmas.

I rushed in the patio doors and lifted it off the counter, seeing ‘Troy Calling’ on the display. I frowned, accepting the call and hpressed my phone against my ear as I walked back towards the backyard. Claude was off on an away game in Buffalo, so I was home with Lucia all day today and most of tomorrow. “Hello,”

“Hey Emily, how are you?” Troys voice rang through the device. I sighed, twirling my hair around my finger. “How’s Lucia?” It was Sidney’s Dad calling me. I had kept in touch with them since I had Lucia and was sending them pictures over e-mail, they didn’t exactly understand our deal with each other, but were happy as pig in shit when they got to see pictures of their granddaughter.

I was amazed that they hadn’t told Sidney about her, or let it slip. I chose not to make his parents suffer because Sidney and I weren’t I guess getting along anymore.

“We’re both doing great, how are you?” I smiled, picking a fuzzy off my coat and moved back outside to the patio chair and sat down, my hat and a cup of coffee was still sitting out here.

“Trina and I are great, Emily,” He laughed. “Uhm, I’m in Pittsburgh in a couple of days to see one of Sidney’s games and I was wondering if you weren’t doing anything, would you want to meet up for a coffee? Trina and I have gifts for Lucia and you,”

“I would love to, but you didn’t need to get me anything,” I smiled widely. Troy and Trina were so great with Lucia and I, and they were really great grandparents to her. Of course we don’t see them that often, but I loved when I got to see Troy.

When Sidney and I were dating, I went to him for a few things and we got close so I naturally seen him as a second Dad to me. “What do you say meet at Brander park for 130?”

“Sounds good to me,” He said. “I’ll see you there. Don’t forget my little granddaughter,”

We hung up and I stuffed my phone into my coat pocket. I was excited to see Troy and how he was doing and see how Sidney was doing. Ever since I started e-mailing them, they always told me that I should talk to Sidney and that maybe it was a misunderstanding.

I was slowly getting used to everyone telling me that Sidney and I should be together and I agreed, I wanted my life back the way that it was.