Losing Him Was Blue!

“Ohmygod Farrah, it’s beautiful,” I gasped, walking through the entrance way to the house my sister and Jeff were buying.

It was absolutely extravagant. You usually see these homes in movies, but never in real life. It was opened up, with a platform off to the right of the living room where the dining room was. Carter had taken off with Lucia through the left of the entrance way to the playroom.
They made sure to unpack all Carter’s toys to keep him occupied while they unpacked and set things up.

“I can’t believe we bought it for only 388,” Jeff flashed his million dollar smile. He was a business man, dealing in the sports area as an agent and partial lawyer with the Player Associations. He always dressed up with his crisp ties and pressed dress shirts.

“I was expecting the millions for this house,” Not that millions would necessarily be a problem. This boy had millions in investments and not to mention he makes deals daily in the millions with his clients.
Farrah was resting her hand absent mindedly on her pregnant belly while she was observing the house. She was due next month, and was counting the days down. She couldn’t wait.

“I would’ve been, this house is gorgeous,” I smiled, walking through the entrance way, noting the chandelier hanging 30 feet above my head. This house had what looked like a church steeple on their house, but on the inside, it actually didn’t look that high up. “I may just move in with you,”

“There is an extra room,” Farrah smiled. I didn’t doubt that for a second. This house had to have ample bedrooms and bathrooms. “If you want to get away from that loser you’re dating, we wouldn’t mind. I know Carter wouldn’t,”

“Claude and I got in a fight when I came back yesterday,” I sighed, dropping onto their bench, setting my bag and keys down beside me. “He flipped out and I think we’re broken up now,”

“So, you are looking for a new place?” Jeff sat down beside me. I inhaled the scent of his expensive cologne. It wasn’t HugoBoss, but it smelled absolutely divine. A musky, sweet scent. “Because I wouldn’t mind you moving in with us,” He had soft brown eyes beneath dark brown hair.

I waved my hand in an erratic motion. “No, I’m fine. Claude and I are splitting, but he said he won’t kick me out, so I have time to find my own place,” I hated talking about this stuff. I wanted to just live a normal life, not having to deal with all this, but my life was never easy. I

t seemed like drama just followed me. I was paying for what I did to Sidney, and I will continue paying for it. I rested my head on my hands and sighed deeply. “I’m thinking about just going back to Sweden,”

“You can’t do that,” Farrah lightly stomped her foot, obviously afraid any large movement might shake the baby loose. “God, even when we were kids, you always ran from stuff when it got hard, you need to man up and deal with this face to face. I love you like none other Emily, I do, but you need to stop being a chicken shit,” She walked past me towards the kitchen. “I believe that you can handle this, you can handle the shit with your smoking hot baby Daddy, and you can man up to Claude. You are a fucking Miller for christ sake, we are not quitters,”

“Farrah…” I stood up and looked meekily in her direction. She was right. I was never one for confrontation, at the first sign of danger, I’d run off with my tail between my legs. I was amazed I had made it this far, but I always had someone who had my back, so my first time really being on my own, will be a big test for me.

Sidney always had my back and was always there for me whenever I needed him, and that was what I felt I missed the most. I missed knowing he was always in my corner watching out for me.

“DO not even think of arguing with me,” She put her finger up and approached me. “Emily Nichole, you need to do this, not just for you, but for Lucia too, every child needs their father, and it’s not fair to her, at least give him a chance,”

“I agree with you,” I sighed. She dropped her finger and stared at me akwardly. “I do, I’m just afraid of what could happen, what Sid’s going to say. I don’t want him to hate me,” I felt the tear roll down my face and splatter on the fabric of my purple oversized tank. I felt horribly awkward standing rooted on the spot sobbing like a three year old into my hands.

“Oh Emily,” She hurried up to me and hugged me to her chest tightly. “I believe in you, I know you can do this,”

I felt sick and tired of basically ducking and running from Sidney, and trying to hide anything about me from him. I was about ready to just say ‘fuck it’ and go knock on his door. “I want to do this, but I need time to ready myself, I need to make sure he’s going to want to be around,” I was not about to approach him with Lucia, I had to be sure he wanted to see her and wanted to stay around.

“Emily, Lucia is absolutely adorable, she is the sweetest kid, how can he not want to be around?” Farrah held my tear stained face in her hands. “Give him the benefit of the doubt, he just may surprise you,” She had a point, I was cutting him down before he even had time to do anything.

I would love him to be around for Lucia, so she knows who her Daddy is, and the kind of guy he really is.

I started laughing and Farrah released my face. “Can we please talk about something else?” I smiled, wiping my face. “I’d rather not sob like a three year old on your foyer floor, I want the grand tour,” I walked up towards the large staircase.

“Follow me ladies,” Jeff stepped in front of us. “I don’t have a little hat, but I will show you all around the house,” He took our arms in his hands and lead us through the house. He stopped at every door and pointed to what it was.

Carter’s room was right next door to theirs which was the centre door upstairs and they had the nursery for baby Aubry and then another bedroom further down the hall.

Farrah hinted for another baby, and Jeff rolled his eyes. He had told Farrah he lived to have a big family, so did she, so they were a winning pair.

I wouldn’t doubt they ended up with five kids. I had Lucia, but I didn’t really know if I wanted more. I wanted a big family when I was growing up, but now I wasn’t so sure.

= =
“Suppers almost ready ladies,” Jeff peeked his head out of the arch way dining room. Almost ready? They ordered in pizza.

Farrah and I were setting plates out on the dining room table. They weren’t supposed to move in until tomorrow, but Jeff pulled strings and they got to move in a day early.

“So, can you spend the night tonight? I want to do lunch and shop,” Farrah chuckled, setting the napkins down on each plate. “Jeff said he’d watch the kids, and I already set it up with Dad to meet us in Central Park,”

“I’d love to, but I can’t, I’m meeting with Sid’s Dad tomorrow,” I spoke nonchalantly. Farrah raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow and looked awkwardly at me. “I’ve kept in touch with them since we broke up and since I had Lucia. Just because Sid and I aren’t let’s say, getting along, they shouldn’t suffer too,”

“Wow,” Farrah finished placing the napkins and sat down on her chair. “That’s noble. I bet it’s hard for them not to say anything,”
“It’s their first grandchild, I thought Trina, Sid’s Mom, was going to die when I told her on the phone about her,” I laughed remembering it vividly.

I was in Sweden and just told them over the phone I had a baby. Trina said ‘what?’ I replied ‘A baby, you’re a Grandma’ there was a long silence and I swear she cried for 45 minutes on the phone to me about how happy she was, and was dying for pictures. “Her and Troy are amazing to us,”

“Jeff’s parents are amazing grandparents to Carter, but of course we got a speech from his Mom about moving to the States,” Farrah rolled her eyes. “I swear, she thinks I can’t handle it on my own. Jeff is gone like 5 days out of the week, who does shee think cares for Carter?” She started digging at her nails. “She is a sweet lady, though, but sometimes she gets on my nerves,”

“Yeah, Trina does that to me sometimes,” I shared, sitting down beside her. “But I know she’s just trying to help out, so I respect her for that,” She was far from over-bearing, she offered her opinion, I mean, after all she did raise two fantastic children.

“Kids!” Jeff shouted, walking through the door carrying the Domino’s Pizza on a tray and set it on the table. Lucia and Carter come running out of the playroom.

“Mommy, can Loosh sleep over?” Carter asked, sliding into his chair. Jeff helped Lucia into her chair and sat down in his own, where he began serving out the pizza.

“Auntie Emily has to go somewhere tomorrow, but maybe sometime soon we can have a sleepover,” Farrah smiled, setting the pizza on his plate.

It was nice to know that I had my sister to rely on for help now. I knew she wouldn’t let up about Sidney, and I agreed. It was time I told Sidney, because this wasn’t working for me.