Losing Him Was Blue!

8 Days Later

The phone ringing; abruptly woke me from my slumber as I rose out of bed and glared at the darkness, still outside. Who the fuck is calling me? It was barely 6AM; this person has a death wish.
I threw the covers off and hurried out of my room, through the darkened hallway to the stairs. Taylor was sleeping in the bedroom on the other side of the bathroom, beside my room.

Lucia was snoring lightly in my room, in her crib lying on her stomach. I fought my green PJ shorts that rolled up during sleep as I circled the staircase to get to the phone before the person hung up.

I let my bare feet smack the hardwood of the floor and I raced into the kitchen, grabbing the phone and pushing it to my ear. “This had better be good,” I grumbled, glaring at the 5:45AM on the coffeemaker.

“Emily…” I heard the soft voice of Tyler Kennedy whispering. “I am so sorry to be calling you right now, but you need to come to Pittsburgh now!”

“Tyler, it is almost 6 in the morning, are you insane? Why would I, at any point want to go to Pittsburgh this early?” I slid onto the counter, knowing in my heart there was some reason behind it. Tyler wouldn’t just call me up randomly at 6AM for nothing; he was not the prank calling type.

“Layla’s dead,” He spoke softly. I dropped the phone, letting it hit hard off the floor. What? I couldn’t fight the tears meeting my eyes as Tyler was shouting my name from the phone over and over. “Are you still there? Hello? Emily?”

I jumped off the counter and knelt down by the phone, my hands shaking as I retrieved it and held it against my ear. “Ohmygod…” I whispered, dropping my head to the floor where I curled up with the phone. “What happened?”

“I haven’t been told yet, all Geno said was the Coroner called him at 5 this morning and said the body of Layla Jones was discovered out on Kimball Road by Boston, early this morning,” My heart reached it’s breaking point and I wiped the fallen tears as more ran down my face. “Geno hasn’t stopped crying,”

“My poor baby,” I sobbed, hugging my knees. I couldn’t even believe this. I waited until it was too late to get back in touch with her. “I think I should come and see him,”

“I think he’d really like that, Em,” He sighed. “When’s the next flight you can get?”

“I’ll drive; Taylor and I will stay in a hotel,” I began a frantic search for my car keys. “Don’t worry Ty, we’ll be there by noon,” It was a five hour drive, but I bet if I sped, I could make it there by 10 if I left now.

“Em, I really don’t want to go to two funerals,” He whispered. “Please, be careful, drive slow,” I stopped at the staircase and looked up at the dark hallway, instantly hitting the light switch and illuminating the once dark hallway. I stepped up on the stairs.
“Okay Dad, I’ll take my time,” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Hold on tight, we’ll be there as soon as we can,” We exchanged goodbyes and I hurried up the stairs after hanging up.

I still couldn’t believe this. I ran through the hallway and threw open Taylor’s door, revealing her sleeping half covered with her comforter, drooling into her pillow.

“Taylor,” I shouted, turning on her light. She slowly rolled over and gave me a look. “We are going to Pittsburgh, now,”

She instantly jumped up, throwing her covers off and her brown eyes started to fill with tears. “Ohmygod, is Sidney okay?” She grabbed her pants and pulled them up over her PJ shorts.

“Sidney’s fine…” I assured her. “My friend Layla from Buffalo… she was apparently killed early this morning,” I was still in shock, but sat down on Taylor’s bed, still holding the phone as tears fell down my face. What if that was Sidney?

He would’ve died not knowing about his daughter. I had to let bygons be bygons and just tell him about her, I had to stop being a chicken shit and grab my lady balls. I am almost 20 years old; I can’t keep running from this all my life.

“Oh no Em, I’m so sorry,” She gave me a comforting hug, letting her pants drop to the floor. “I’ll come with you to Pittsburgh, we can stay with my brother,”

I widened my eyes and she sighed, patting my hands. “I know Em, I understand, but during these times you need people,”

“I’m assuming we can stay with Tyler, but I was thinking of just doing a hotel,” I sighed. “I can’t believe she’s gone though, she and I were best friends back in Buffalo. I wanted to see her again after I came back, but I was afraid of what she’d think of what happened with Sid and me and now…” I threw my head in my hands. “Now it’s too late,” I sobbed into them. I knew I was feeling very guilty, but I had to go to the funeral for her sake and for Geno.

I had to make sure he was going to be okay, I’d really be upset if anything happened to my baby. If I see Sid there, I guess I’ll just have to man through it like a big girl.

= = =

I pulled my Jeep into Tyler’s driveway as my phone started going off. I honked, letting Tyler know we were here and hit the touch screen, answering it. I still hadn’t programmed everyone’s phone in, only the ones who frequently called me I had programmed.

“Hello,” I answered, biting my baby finger nail. Tyler moved the curtain and within a few seconds, he was out of the house, locking the door behind him.

He had on black jeans, a grey t-shirt with a blue jacket overtop.

It was 11AM; I had dropped Taylor and Lucia off at the Marriot downtown. Taylor didn’t want to interfere in going to see Geno, someone she barely knew.

“Hi, uhm… is this Emily? Emily Nichole Miller?” I knew that voice. I looked at the number, finding it familiar but not knowing where it was from.

“Yes, this is she, who is calling?” It was silent for a few seconds on the other line. Goddamn telemarketers. “Listen pal… I don’t want what you are peddling, so do us both a favor, go to the top of the Empire State Bu-,” The voice abruptly cut me off.

“Emily, it’s me… Sidney…” I dropped my jaw, dropping back against the seat. “I was just calling to see if… well, if you… If you heard about Layla?”

I scratched my forehead, signaling Tyler that the doors were unlocked. “Yeah… Tyler called me, do you know yet what happened?”

“I guess she was driving back from Boston, and hit a partition in the road and went through the windshield. It was quick, they said, it sliced her jugular and she was dead when she hit the ground,” He explained, his voice just above a whisper. “The baby is back in Boston in a sick kid’s hospital, he’s only 6 months along,”

“Hey, who’s on the phone?” Tyler asked, shutting the door behind him and looking at me while he buckled his seatbelt. I ignored him.

“Do they think he’s going to make it?” I asked, turning up the heat and taking my foot off the gas.

“They have doubts he’ll make it to tomorrow,” He sighed. “But, ugh, the ugh; guys and I are taking Geno out for drinks tonight, make you’d like to come?”

I twirled a piece of hair around my finger. “Do you want me to come?”

“Emily, don’t play these games, “He grumbled. “I am not trying to go back to the happy days with you,”

“Sid, that’s not what I-“I got cut off when he hung up. I sighed, feeling my heart racing as I dropped it into the console and began to back out of the driveway. Tyler was staring at me, obviously waiting to hear who was on the phone.

“Sidney just called me… how the hell did he get my number?” It just dawned on me, the only one who knew my number that was in contact with Sidney, was Tyler. I changed it after I got the new iPhone. “Did you give him my number?”

He frowned. “Yeah… Emily, this shit with Lucia is stupid. Your best friend is dead, do you really need to keep going along this way, it was two years ago and I know for a fact he just wants to see you again and make sure you’re okay, he’s not mad, so stop being a little bitch and grab your balls and talk to him. He’s not going to bite,” He yelled, his voice filling the car.

I stared at him, with my jaw dropped. “I am not sorry Emily, I don’t care. This has gone on long enough, and I am sick of it. What if it was Sid who died? Huh? Then what? What would you do then?”

“Tyler...” I pulled over to the side of the road and rested my head on the steering wheel. “I was thinking the same thing; he would’ve died not knowing that he has a daughter. I need to tell him, but I am so afraid,”

“Emily, you have to be a big girl, I am not going to hold your hand through this,” He furrowed his brows. “He has the right to know and you need to do this. Maybe the funeral will help push things along,”

“I hope so,” I sighed, driving back out onto the road. I knew Geno’s house from memory, it was two houses past the fountain park and a street up from Sidney’s house.

They lived in a gated neighborhood, in Sewickley, but I always had a pass from Sidney to get in, stashed in my glove compartment.

I got past the guard with my pass and parked out on the road, behind the millions of other cars on the street. I knew it’d be busy with people in and out checking on Geno for the next few days.
When I was little, my Dad’s father, the original creator of the VW corporation; passed away, there was a flood of people in and out of our house for what felt like an eternity, they were bringing gifts, food, and just sitting and talking with us for hours.

I didn’t see the reason behind it, my Dad was one of 5, but they were partners in the corporate world since my Dad was 23. His two brothers and sisters all did their own thing but we never seen them. Some moved to other parts of Europe, his sister moved to Finland and his oldest brother took off for Siberia and never looked back.

“Come on, he’ll be happy to see you,” Tyler took my hand in his and led me up the driveway. I was so afraid and my heart began beating faster and faster with every step we took to the front door. He opened it and walked in, revealing everyone standing and talking.

I noticed Ben Lovejoy in the corner by the archway leading to Geno’s dining room --with Dan Bylsma, each had beers in their hands. “Geno’s over here,” He dragged me through the crowd to the living room to find the familiar brunette sitting by himself on a couch, his eyes red and his cheeks tear stained. My poor baby. “Hey Geno, look who I brought to see you,”

He lifted his head and looked at us after we sat on either side of him. I reached my hand out and covered his hand with mine. I was horrified with the look on his face. At first, it seemed like he didn’t recognize me, but almost abruptly he realized who I was. He stood up and glared. “How dare you! How fucking dare you come back here; I don’t want to see you!” Geno turned and stomped out of the room. Wow.

I let my jaw fall into my lap as I looked at Tyler, who seemed as in shock as I was. “I thought he’d be happy to see you, I don’t get it,” Tyler was obviously trying to figure out the outburst. I didn’t blame him, I didn’t just hurt Sidney when I left, and I have hurt a lot of people. Jake, Geno, Layla, Tyler. You never know how much people care until you get pregnant and secretly flee the country.

“I need to get out of here,” I abruptly stood up and hurried back through the crowd. I had it in my head that Sidney would be here, and I could just pull him aside and be like ‘hey brah, you remember two years ago, well you got a kid’ but now, I was afraid of his reaction after witnessing Geno’s reaction. I smashed into a large body by the door and stumbled backwards, not hitting the ground, but I was wobbling in my red ballet flats.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” The figure turned around, revealing Sidney, holding a beer in his hand. I let my eyes grow three times their normal size. “You okay? Are you leaving?” He still had the same sweet monotone voice that rang through my system like a church bell.

His eyes were gorgeous underneath his Penguins Hockey ball cap, his hair from what I could tell needed a cut bad, but everything else seemed the same, other than he’s obviously more muscular. He was wearing a blue polo, tucked in, of course and his pecks and biceps could be seen poking out from under the fabric.

“Yes, I mean… no,” I stumbled over my words, watching the look on his face. “I mean… yes, I'm leaving,” He slowly stepped to the side, out of the way of the door. He doesn’t recognize me? My hair is back to my regular blonde and curled, I had on a white oversized v-neck and a simple black slim fitting high-waisted skirt. I felt I had to look as proper as possible.

I bypassed him, getting a wiff of his cologne on the way by. My ovaries were screaming to get the fuck over there to that beautiful man who looked like strippers carved him out of marble. I got outside, took in a deep breath of fresh-air and climbed into the Jeep. I wouldn’t leave yet, not until Tyler was done visiting Geno.

I let all my feelings rush to the surface and I was left sobbing into the steering wheel. I was sad over Layla, and not getting the chance to right what I did and I was also afraid of Sidney seeing me and actually recognizing me. I wasn’t prepared for what could happen.

“Are you okay ma’am?” I heard a French accent purr into my window. I startled and wiped my eyes as I looked up at Kris Letang leaning into my window. His gorgeous hair was falling into his face, hiding his brown eyes. He hadn’t changed one bit. Even his accent was the same.

“Don’t call me ma’am Kris, I am younger than you,” I replied, wiping the tears off my cheeks. He tried to rack his brain for who I was. Not just anyone calls him Kris, but I and his Mother. I did call him Tang from time to time, but I always liked to be different.

“Holy mother of sweet fuck,” He cursed, dropping his jaw. “Fuck me, Emily, Emily Miller?” I meekly nodded my head. “Fuck, where the hell have you been man? I’ve been missing seeing my wittle cuppycake,” He reached his hand in the window and ruffled my hair.

“Kristopher,” I giggled, patting his arm when he left his hand on the back of my neck. “I went back to Sweden,”

“Why the fuck would you go back there?” I rolled my eyes, feeling right at home with him. He was the only one so far who hasn’t given me some kind of bullshit about everything.

“It’s a long story, Kris, just trust me, it was for the best,” I rubbed under my eyes, letting out a vicious yawn into the air. I only went to bed at 1AM this morning, and got woken up at quarter to six. I was tired.

“Sid didn’t go to a game or practice for two weeks, because of you, he was adamant about quitting the team,” Oh here we go. “You should’ve seen the poor guy, he was like a… fucking dog or some shit without his master, he had no fucking clue what he was supposed to do,” He sighed, patting my hand. “Then I heard through the grape vine that Sidney has a kid and everything started to make sense,”

My face went white. “What? Where did you hear this?”

“It’s like all over, well it’s been all over since December I want to say, December, Januaryish,” He waved his hand in a non-chalant manner. “I jogged past a magazine stand a couple weeks ago and People had the inside scoop, I didn’t get what you had, boy or girl,”

I sighed, dropping my head. “A girl, her name is Lucia and before you ask, yes, she is Sidneys,”

“Fucking right,” He yelled, startling me. “Lovejoy owes me 50 bucks,”

“What?”

“I bet Lovejoy 50 bucks that the reason you left was you were pregnant, you were acting really weird when you visited Sid last and I knew it was you were pregnant, my sister did the same thing. Trying to hide the belly until she could tell our parents,”
“Well aren’t you a little detective,” I smiled, circling my hands around the steering wheel. “Kris, you wouldn’t lie to me when I ask you this, right?”

“No, I don’t lie, except to my Mom if she asks if I’m eating veggies,” He giggled. “I only eat pork,”

“Pork is not a vegetable,” I chuckled, knowing he was trying to do his best to make me laugh and keep me from feeling down about this whole situation,

He furrowed his brows. “Well it eats vegetables,” He smiled widely, resting his hand on my shoulder. “What do you not want me to lie about?”

“Does Sidney… know?” This was one time I needed to know the truth. He arched an eyebrow. “About Lucia? Like does he actually know he has a kid?”

He opened his mouth, running his hair back behind his head. “Hey Tang; come on, we got beer,” Brooks Orpik shouted from the front door, showing him the case of beer. He turned back to me. “Come on, Benny’s breaking out the NHL 11, hurry if you want to pick your team,”

He looked at me quickly, tapping his finger once on the door and hurried up to where Brooks was standing. I sat back in my seat. Was the tap to mean, yes? Or to mean no? Or does it even mean anything?