Losing Him Was Blue!

“You know, my girlfriend used to say that to me all the time,” He smiled as he turned and once he seen me, he dropped the cup out of his hands and his coffee hit the floor. “Emily?” I nodded my head.

I sat the cup down, and stepped around the spilled coffee. “Hi Sidney,” I sucked in a deep breath. “How have you been?” I let my eyes travel over him after two years, he seemed different to me.

He still seemed to have that sweetheart persona, but his eyes screamed that he had been hurt and he had pain lingering. He had gained a lot more muscle, his chest was bigger and his shoulders were broader.

I just wanted to hug him tightly and beg him to forgive me and go back to whom we were, but now that I was here I didn’t know if that was what I wanted. My heart ached for him, but my mind was telling my heart to back up and consider the options.

“How have I been?!” He shouted. “I haven’t seen you in two years and you have the balls to ask me how I’ve been!” He laughed, turning angry eyes on me. “You up and leave, when I poured my heart out to you and you think you can come back and have everything be all casual,”

“Sidney,” I whispered, playing nervously with the ends of my hair. “I think we need to talk this out. I was 17… I was afraid…”

He instantly tightened his features. Sure, he won’t be mad at you… “Of what?! I loved you!” He screamed. I let the few tears run out on my cheeks. “I loved you Emily, you have no fucking clue how much I loved you,” His voice was cracking while he was screaming at me. I knew he had to yell at me before we could have a rational conversation.

“I loved you too!” I cut him off, watching him stop and look at me, his eyes immediately softening. “I did. I loved you, I didn’t know it then, but once we broke up, I realized I did,” I paused, trying to regain myself. “I missed you,”

There was an awkward pause between us and he sighed, looking up at me. “So, I, uhm… I have a daughter?”

“Yes, she’s going to be two next month,” I smiled, brushing my bangs from my face. It hit me. How the fuck did he know? “Wait, how did you know?” I was shocked. Tyler didn’t tell me he knew about Lucia…

“Well, I read a few articles, that was how I knew you were back,” He trailed off. “So, I heard about you and your new ‘boyfriend’,” He air quoted ‘boyfriend’ the same way Carrie did. I let my jaw drop. He knew about Claude too?! I am so killing Tyler when I get a hold of him. “Yeah, especially him, Emily, I can’t believe of all the guys to replace me, you’d pick him,” To replace him? He actually thought that was possible…

“I’m not replacing you,” I defended myself. “Claude and I we just met when I went back to Sweden, he’s nice and he’s really good with Lucia,”

He immediately looked at me. “Claude?!” He growled. “I was talking about Tyler, who the fuck is Claude?!” Woah… he thought Tyler and I were dating? Legit?

I grimaced, scratching at my arm. “Tyler? Kennedy? Ew, no, he’s like a brother,” I waved a hand through the air. “I uhm… you know, Claude,”

He gave me an emotionless look, to tell me he was not impressed with me. “If you are seriously going to tell me, that you are bringing my daughter around Claudia Giroux…” He crossed his arms over his chest. Did I see the smallest hint of jealousy in his eyes?

“You don’t even know how nice he is,” I defended Claude, not even bothering to say that we broke up. “He’s good with your daughter,”

“Emily, I’ve been playing against him since the start of my career, he was a prick when I first met him, and he’s a prick now, nothing has changed,”

“Whatever, he is a nice guy, Sidney,” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Then you wonder why I left,”

“Excuse me? I did nothing wrong, you up and left for no reason. All I did was defend you, like I was supposed to do as your boyfriend, and you break up with me,” He pointed his finger at me, obviously getting pissed off with my actions.

“Whatever, I left because of you,” I pushed a finger into his chest. “Because I was afraid; I was pregnant when I told you I wasn’t, I knew you couldn’t handle it, you were running with your tail between your legs,”

“What? Why did you lie to me?” He asked, his tone lowering into a more generic conversational tone.

“Sidney, honestly… I lied to protect your daughter, because her Dad is an asshole, who didn’t want her as it would mess up his perfect life he had in his head,” I didn’t want to completely blame Sidney, but I felt like that was happening. Sidney didn’t pack my bags, or charge my ticket or drive me to the airport, I did all that myself.

“Emily,” He cut me off. “You really… I mean…” I arched an eyebrow as he took in a deep breath. “I said I was afraid of being a Dad, but I wouldn’t have turned my back on you,”

“Bullshit,” I turned on my heel and walked out of the hall, letting the door slam behind me. I trudged down the stairs, and began my walk down the street. I was going to go to Taylor’s hotel and get my Jeep and go home. I knew it was a mistake to try and reconcile with him. I didn’t blame him for being so mad, but he could’ve at least tried to see it from my side.

“Emily!” I stopped and turned as Sidney came plowing into me knocking me to the ground ending with me on the bottom, face against the hard concrete of the sidewalk and him lying across me. “I am so sorry Em, I didn’t think you’d stop,” He apologized, grabbing his ball cap off the ground and placing it back on his head.

I was gasping for air. He was twice my weight and I thought my ribs were going to break. “It’s okay, just get off me,” I was relieved when he stood up, letting me take a large breath of air into my lungs as I stood up with help of a nearby garbage can.

I didn’t even know why I chose my red pumps; they were too small and hurt my feet. “Damn shoes,” I grumbled, taking them off and starting back up my walk. I didn’t mind being bare foot, I loved it, it was comfortable and you moved faster than being in heels.

“You always hated those shoes,” He mumbled. I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. He remembered that? “You always wear them even though you hate them, so you end up taking them off and I gave you my shoes the one night,”

“That lasted for like two seconds because you have huge gorilla feet,” I pointed at the size 12s sitting on his feet. “I have tiny dancer feet,” I was a size 5 in women’s’. “It was sweet, though,” We walked up to each other. I felt all the feelings I had for him rush back to the surface.

“I missed you, Emily,” He spoke softly, brushing my bang out of my eyes. “I missed everything. Your smile, your eyes, your uneven eyebrows, your cute little nose, everything,” I blushed and looked at my feet as his finger curled under my chin and brought it back up to face him. “You obviously came back for a reason,”

“I wanted to tell you about your daughter,” I stepped back from him. “I felt like you had the right to know,” I picked at the glittery nail polish on my baby finger.

“Can I meet her?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve had to see my daughter through magazine articles,”

I smiled, putting my hand on his shoulder. “I would love for you to meet her; she looks identical to you,” I was trying to hide my happiness that Sidney was back and wanted to be in our daughters life. I didn’t really know what to think, would he want custody?

“You don’t need to prove that she’s mine,” He laughed. “I trusted you through our entire relationship,” I took in a large breath and felt my heart start pounding out of beat. “Shit, Em, I’m like busy with games these next few weeks, you know the playoffs and shit are coming up,” He rubbed his neck. “We’ll have to work something out,”

“Lucia’s birthday is on the 11th of April, you could always come to her party,” I hinted. I didn’t even have any idea where I’d be holding this party or what I would be doing. “I’ll call you with the details and stuff,” I nodded my head and ran my hair back behind my ear.

“I’d like that,” He smiled, stepping up to me with his arms open and I slowly stepped to him and was brought into a comfortable embrace. I felt my stomach doing flip flops. I relaxed and put my arms around him, snuggling into his chest. He has definitely been working out, there was no question. Rock. Hard.

“You are still wearing Daisy?” He mentioned, pulling from me and holding me at arms length. You had no idea how bad I wanted to kiss him right now.
“Yeah… Sidney, it’s only been two years,”