Losing Him Was Blue!

I let air into my lungs and pulled into the parking garage of Claudes little townhouse and sighed. He had talked me into officially moving in with him, and he said he’s home like 30% of the time, so I would barely have him around, so we wouldn’t be stepping on eachothers toes.

I merely took him up on his offer, for two reasons, 1: To get away from Carrie. I thought she was whiny normally, but her pregnant is like 100000x worse and 2: I thought maybe moving in with Claude, would make us serious and help get Sid off my mind.

I highly doubted it, but I’d rather try it and find out it’s not going to work.

“Welcome home Loosh,” I carried her in my arms and grabbed the key out of the flower pot on the porch and unlocked his door. She ran across the hardwood floor, her loud stomps heard all throughout the house.

I drug my hockey bag into the house and dropped it as I shut the door behind me. His house was a nice size, but he had his shit all over the place and the entire place reeked of sweaty hockey stuff.

I knew he wouldn’t be home until tomorrow morning, so I had all day to clean house and believe me, I would.

“Cawd?” Lucia came running through the kitchen back out to where I was, getting clothes off the floor and slipping them into a random bin with nothing in it at the side of the room. “Where Cawd?”

“He’ll be back tomorrow, this is our home now,” I knelt down and held her hands in mine. “We’ll live here now with Claude,” She seemed happy when she pried herself out of my hands and began giggling while she ran through the house. I rolled my eyes.

She was so energetic. I knew she’d be a powerhouse on a sports team when she gets older. She had to be 5 for me to sign her up for soccer, or hockey, and I was definitely debating doing both of them.

I got all the clothes out of various rooms and started a load of laundry in his backroom, which also stunk. I found out that’s where he had a hockey bag sitting with sweaty gear inside. Ick. The entire room stunk.

I dragged it out onto the back deck and opened up a window, to air the place out.

I put a video in the DVD player for Lucia and sat her on the couch after cleaning food off of it. If Claudes mom could see his house, she’d cringe.

I heard Lucia talking back to the movie while I started up dishes. I felt like this was a good part of my life starting.

“Ungy!” Lucia came running out to the kitchen where I was sitting at the kitchen table, folding clothes to put away in Claude’s room. “Lucia, ungy,” She stomped her foot dramatically.

“I love how you talk in 3rd person,” I pointed out to her, putting Claude’s boxers into a pile. I always organized clothes into piles. Underwear. Tanks. Tshirts. Pants. Sweaters and Shorts and Workout.

“Lucia.Ungy!” She yelled from the top of her lungs. I waited for her to be done and itched my nose. She hated when I didn’t care what she had to say. Half the time, she rambled on and I just nodded my head and she’ll walk away, but I knew she was hungry; it was almost time for supper.

I had managed to wash and dry all the dishes, mop the floor, vacuum the bedroom upstairs, make the bed, and put Lucia’s crib up in the room after I saw the other bedroom beside his, was his game room with the foosball table and his Xbox and I wasn’t going to move anything of his.

I grabbed the laundry basket and brought it upstairs with Lucia trailing behind me, complaining of being hungry.
I sat the clothes at the end of the bed and moved back down stairs, to check his fridge.

Why was I not surprised? Beer and Pizza. Typical man.

I grabbed my purse, and Lucia and we headed out to do some grocery shopping. I could not feed my daughter on pizza and beer, not even close. I had a pair of sunglasses over my eyes and a toque on my head.

I got out of there quickly, without anyone seeing me. For some odd reason, I thought I saw Jordan Staal at the check-out, a few people ahead of me, but if it was, then I got out of there without him seeing me.

I bought lots of veggies and food I know Lucia eats, she is beyond picky and a pain in my ass.
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“Ungy,” Lucia pounded on her highchair table. I glared over my shoulder, while I stirred noodles around in a pot. I dug his pots and pans out of a cupboard and they still had stickers on them. Claude probably doesn’t even know how to cook, obviously with his cookware still in its packaging. “Mama, Lucia ungy,”

“Kay Loosh,” I turned from the pot and sighed. “Enough with the third person, supper will be ready in a few minutes, slow you roll,”

“Slow your roll,” She laughed, patting the tray on her highchair. Oh god. The little monster I created. I rolled my eyes and poured the noodles into separate bowls and added sauce, slipping it in front of Lucia.

She loooved pasta with sauce, hated pasta with butter on it or salt, or alfredo sauce, or al dente, just pasta, with sauce and that’s it.
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I heard the front door shut downstairs and grumbled as I rolled over and snuggled into the pillow I cradled under my head. “Shit, the house smells like vanilla,” Better than sweat and ass, Claude. I heard the bedroom door open slowly and Claude stepped inside, dropping his bag to the ground.

“Morning ladies,” I slowly opened my eyes and stared up at the tired ginger staring down at me. His hair was all over the place, his beard was scraggily and he looked beyond tired.

“You look like shit,” I mumbled, yawning and stretching in bed. He had a king-sized bed, and I loved it. Lucia was standing up at the end of the crib, her eyes focused on Claude’s frame. He was the same height as Sidney was, but was about 40lbs lighter, and it definitely showed in his frame.

“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine,” He rolled his eyes and walked over to Lucia, setting the bar down and picking her out of her crib.

“Mommy is a big grump today,” He cooed, ticking her belly with his finger making her squirm and giggle. He looked briefly at me. “Get dressed, we’re going for breakfast,” He shut the door behind him.

“Nice to see you too, ass,” I crawled out of bed and moved to the bathroom. I left my hair long, fixed my makeup and pulled up a pastel yellow strapless darling dress and stuck my feet in my UGGS, grabbed a cardigan out of my suitcase and hurried downstairs.

Claude was sitting on the couch with Lucia sitting beside him, tucked into his side and they were watching ESPN.

“You see that team there, the Penguins,” Claude pointed at Pens and Blue Jackets highlights on the screen. “They are a horrible team, full of mean and dirty players, you must never enjoy the company of their games,”

“Stop poisoining my daughter,” I scolded him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I am not poisoning, I am merely educating, so she doesn’t get made fun of at school,”

“Claude, we now live in Pennsylvania, it wont be odd to find a Pens fan,” I absent mindedly folded up the t-shirt Claude threw on the floor when he changed into the black polo he was now wearing from the grey Flyer’s t-shirt he had on before. “If Lucia wants to be a Pens fan, I’m going to let her. No one stopped me from being a Capitals fan,” I tried to be casual about this, and not let it slip that her father was a Penguin.

“The Penguins are dirty,” He rolled his eyes and got up from the couch. “Just wait until tomorrow when you are at the game, you’ll see,” He bypassed me and began digging through his hockey bag. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

“I’m sorry, Claude, what game exactly?”

“We have a home again against the Penguins tomorrow, and you and Loosh are going to be there,” He grabbed his wallet out and shoved it in his back pocket and pulled a ticket out and handed it to me. “Don’t lose this,”

“Thank you, I am not five,” I grumbled, putting it on the end table by the door. Ohmygod, I was not ready to see Sidney at all and I would be less than 15feet from him at all times tomorrow. What if he recognizes me? What do I do? What if someone blows my cover? Ohmygod, what do I do? Can I say no? What if he asks why? What are my plans? OHMYGOD!

“If you didn’t lose the last one I gave to you,” He countered, grabbing it back off the table and re handing it to me. “Put it in your purse,”

“I didn’t lose it, you forgot to give it to me and it’ll get crumpled if I put it in my purse,” I sighed, holding it in my hand. A picture of Claude was across the ticket.

“At least you’ll actually have it,” He laughed. I glared harshly at him. He was such an asshole sometimes; I could strangle him.

“Let’s go,” He practically dragged Lucia and I out of the house. He drove a silver Toyota Tundra. We moved Lucias carseat into his backseat and climbed in. He forbade me from driving his truck, it was his baby.

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Breakfast was almost over and I was just finishing the parfait I got. Claude got a breakfast sandwich and we ordered a fruit bowl for Lucia. I loved that she was a big fan of fruits and vegetables, like I was as a kid. We went to the same café that TK and I went to a few weeks ago.

“So, I ran into an old friend of mine the other day,” I shared to Claude to break the awkward silence. Claude and I don’t really… talk; he’s more of a physical being.

“Who?” He mumbled with his mouth full. So attractive, you have no idea.

“Jacob Hanson, he was a friend of mine from Buffalo,” I tried to jog his memory. I swear, I’ve mentioned Jake countless times. “He was a quarterback… with the blonde curly hair,”

“I have no idea who you are talking about and when did you live in Buffalo?” He drank his beer that he ordered. I sipped my water.

“I lived there about three, almost four years,” I slowly explained. I swear anything I tell him; goes in one ear and out the other.

“Anyway, I ran into him at Lucia’s pediatrician appointment. He apparently graduated, and is a Pediatric nurse, he wants to grab coffee sometime,” I traced a heart with my fingers on the table.

It was a lie, Jake and I haven’t ran into each other since the appointment or talked for that matter. He’s definitely pissed at me. I just chose to say it that way to Claude to refrain him from asking me why Jake was so mad, I saw steam coming out of his ears.

“Ohh, rekindling with an old flame?” He laughed, swallowing down a ball of food. I gave him a look. I was not sure what he was talking about. I mumbled ‘what?’ and he rolled his eyes. “Is this ‘Jacob’ character, Lucia’s father?”

“No. I told you, her Dad fucked off on me when I was pregnant. I’ve told you this, Claude,” He asked what happened to her Dad and I really didn’t want to explain the entire story to him, so I chose the best answer… the Dad left me.

He eyed Lucia for a few seconds. “You know, the more I see Lucia, the more I think she looks like someone I know,” My stomach dropped and my heart began racing. “Fuck, I just can’t place it,”

He itched his chin. “Oh well, like it matters,” Fuck. What if he figures it out? I mean, Claude isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but he would probably notice if Lucia and Sid were in the same vicinity as each other. “So, where ugh, is her Dad?”

“Oh well…” I itched my chin. “I actually… don’t know. He left me before I went back to Sweden. He’s from Canada somewhere. I think around like Alberta area,” I twirled my hair around my finger.

“He probably went back there, like I could care less. He was a skeez anyway,”

“Good enough to sleep with,” Claude laughed in my face. I glared. Is he serious? “Was he like a bang and boot kind of deal?”

“No,” I gasped. “Of course not. We were together a little bit. I found out I was pregnant for her and he obviously couldn’t deal with it and fucked off. I couldn’t face other people and have them know my boyfriend ditched m-,” Claude cut me off.

“That’s great,” He patted my hand. “So, the guys and I went out last night-“ I tuned him out and rested my cheek on my palm.

Claude was always such an asshole to me, why do I bother with him anyway? I know he’s an asshole and yet, I move in with him… He’s good with Lucia, so I guess that’s better than nothing.