Beneath Your Perfect

I hesitated before dropping my suitcase and pulling my ringing phone out of my pocket. Nicola’s name flashed across the screen. Answering the phone to Liam’s sister right before I was about to leave the country probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Hi.” I answered anyway.

“Jade! I didn’t actually think you would answer.” Nicola’s voice came through the phone; the surprise was evident through her tone. I stayed silent in reply to what she said and sat down on the closest chair in the dining room of my bare flat. “You’re leaving today right?”

“Right now actually.” I bit my lip and tried to breathe calmly through my nose, anything that would hopefully keep my heart rate down.

“Okay well I just wanted to wish you good luck and everything.” She went silent.

“Nic?” I asked softly, she sighed heavily.

“If I asked you not to go would you stay?”

“No.” I replied instantly.

“Yeah didn’t think so. Just, thank you.”

“For what?” I asked her confused.

“For leaving him.”

“I’m sorry?.” I mumbled into the phone, throwing my head back and staring at the ceiling.

“You did the right thing. Leaving him and telling him to get help. I’ve been trying to tell him and mum that for ages now but no one would do anything. So thank you Jade.” I waited a moment as a few tears settled in my eyes.

“You’re welcome.” I eventually said, pushing my head forward and meeting my mother’s eyes. “I really have to go now.”

“Of course. Well good luck with everything Jade, I hope everything turns out for you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I paused and debated the question that I wanted to ask. “Nic? Is he uh, he’s okay right?”

Mum’s eyes softened as she moved forward to run her hands gently through my hair, I closed my eyes and leant into her hand as I waited for Nicola’s reply. I could practically hear her thinking over the answer before she replied.

“He’s okay Jade. And so are you.” She said confidently, I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.

“Bye.” I mumbled before pulling the phone away and ending the call.

“Ready?” My mum asked me softly, I nodded and stood up, the numbness swept through me again.

“Let’s go.” I swallowed and bent down to pick up my suitcase. I glanced around the empty apartment before moving towards the door and leaving down the stairs towards the awaiting cab. My Dad was already there, loading my other suitcase into the back with the taxi driver. The others were meeting us there.

“We’re so proud of you honey.” Mum pressed a kiss to my temple before guiding me into the car.

The ride to the airport was short and mostly silent. My mother and father talking occasionally to fill the space, I rarely replied.

My dad paid the taxi driver and we headed inside the airport towards the waiting area. The others were already there.

“Don’t forget to call Lilly and your aunt and uncle as soon as you get there. They’ll come visit you as soon as they can.” I nodded at my mother as Jaz moved forward.

“Tell my parents I said hi.” She pulled me into a hug. Jaz was going to be staying another two weeks before she went home which was roughly when I would be in New York to visit her.

“Going to miss you sis.” Tyler pulled me into a hug next; I wrapped my arms around his waist as he lifted me off my feet. I smiled and chucked into his neck.

Jared was next. “Call us if you need anything okay and of course just call.” He grinned and pulled me into his arms, squeezing tightly. I buried my face into his chest and breathed in his familiar scent, savoring it for a bit longer. He smelt like home.

“Look after Sarah.” I murmured to him, childishly poking his side where I knew he was ticklish. He threw me a wink before stepping back so I could get a face full of blonde hair. I laughed and wrapped my arms around Sarah’s waist.

“You tell me if Jared doesn’t treat you right okay?” She nodded into my neck and I reached up to pat her hair softly.

“I’m going to miss you.” She mumbled, I could feel her tears pooling on my shoulder. My lip trembled as I tried not to cry.

“I’m going to miss you too.” I replied before she stepped back and wiped her eyes so Aria could step forward and pull me against her. I hugged her tightly as my body started to shake with the effort not to cry.

“I love you, okay girly, and you’re going to be great over there. America isn’t going to know what hit them. And if you ever need us just say, we’ll be there in a minute. Well figuratively since the plane ride is way longer than that.”

“I know Ari. Love you too.” I squeezed her tightly before pulling back; she pressed a quick kiss to my cheek and smile comfortingly.

I turned to my parents last and they both pulled me into a large hug, their warmth filling me up as tears started to fall. I couldn’t help them now.

“We love you sweetie. Okay? No matter what we are proud of you for everything.” My dad’s words rung through my head as I nodded and pulled back, wiping away the tears on my cheeks. My plane was called and the people around us began standing up and moving, saying their last goodbyes.

My eyes strayed towards the entrances. I imagined him rushing forward, pushing his way through the people moving. Brown eyes searching as his hand moved tiringly through his slowly growing hair. Not quite a buzz cut anymore but not as long as it used to be.

I could imagine when I saw him, the way my stomach would calm down but my heart rate would speed up. I would cry, I knew I would definitely cry but then he would pull me to him, into his warm arms and bury his head into my neck.

He would tell me to stay and I would.

Or he would come with me and I would be more than okay with that. The plane would miraculously find a seat for him and he would come with me for six months and we would travel together.

I could imagine this but it didn’t make it true.

Liam didn’t burst through those doors and declare his undying love for me in front of all the people at the airport. Instead family and friends began to leave as their loved ones bordered the place.

I grabbed my small bag and pulled everyone with me into one last hug. My eyes searched the entrances again before I moved slowly towards the boarding platform, the ticket in my hand held securely.

I waved to my family before handing over my ticket and I was instructed through the tunnel.

This was when Liam would show up. Scream my name. Make a scene.

But I moved through the tunnel without interruption. I found my seat without a fuss and I sat down, waiting. I could only see the runway from my window seat.

Eventually the plane began moving; we buckled up and went through the safety talk.

The plane took off and the familiar pop off my ears and the vibration through my body calmed me. The plane kept moving up and up until finally leveling off.

I glanced back at my home. When I saw it again, a lot would probably be different.