If These Sheets Were States

Six years. I hadn't seen or spoken to Alex in six years. It wasn't like we hated each other or anything either, we'd simply just drifted apart and forgotten about each other well he has properly forgotten about me, six years down the line and I'm still finding it impossible to keep a long term relationship going because I know that I'll never love them as much as I still love Alex which isn't fair on them. My most recent boyfriend John broke up with me six months ago because apparently I showed more interest in someone I hadn't talked too for years than I did for him, it was partly true but he didn't realise how hard I was trying to move on.

As soon as I moved to New York cracks started to form in our relationship, the arguments were more frequent, as his band started to get more popular we started to have trust issues from the distance, it was just never ending. After trying hopelessly for a year to keep it together we decided to call it a day, it wasn't working even though we both wanted it too, it just wasn't the right time for us I guess.

I was still good friends with Jack, Rian and Zack mostly with Jack though, he'd always told me no matter what happened between me and Alex he'd always stay my bestfriend and he did. Things with Rian were complicated, we were still close friends but him and Kara didn't last either, they lasted longer than me and Alex since they only broke up four years ago. I still saw Rian quite a lot because he would come over to see Eden or look after her for a weekend back in Baltimore since Kara was still living with me in New York. Zack on the other hand was more distant than the rest, it was me who had to reach out to him to see how he was doing and try to keep in contact with him because he really didn't seem that bothered.

And now after six years I would finally be seeing Alex again, well that's if he was there. Jack had invited me to his 24th birthday party in Vegas, I had originally told him no but after much convincing on his part I eventually agreed. I was flying out tomorrow and Jack was going to pick me up from the airport but I needed to pack first.

I grabbed a large suitcase from underneath my bed, pulling it out and opening it up on my bed. I needed to pack enough stuff for five days away and since I was a girl that properly meant I needed to pack for at least ten days away who knows what could happen? I went over to my closet grabbing a handful of clothes and packing them away neatly into the suitcase, next I picked a few nice 'going out' dresses and put them inside, then I went over to the big box where I kept all of my shoes grabbing a few pairs of high heels, some flat shoes and some sandles. Once I was done I put a makeup bag and a few other essentials inside before zipping up the suitcase and dragging it over to the door so it would be ready for tomorrow afterwards putting my passport and plane ticket on top of my bedside table so I wouldn't forget it in the morning.

“Jen?” Kara called out properly from inside the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“Come here for a sec.”

I walked to the kitchen, my bare feet leaving footprints along the soft white carpet. Kara was standing inside the kitchen with a mug of coffee in her hands, nibbling her lip. There was a fresh cup of coffee on the side presumably for me so I picked it up, sipping at it slowly so I wouldn't burn my tongue.

“What's up?” I asked.

“When I dropped Eden off at school she asked me if 'daddy' had told me about the wedding. Obviously I didn't have a clue on what she was on about so I asked her and she told me that Alex is getting married to Chelsea.” Kara said softly.

I felt my stomach drop. Anyone but her. I wanted him too be happy but he never would be with her, she was a possessive, controlling bitch back in high school I doubt she's changed much now. Besides Alex getting married? I don't see the rush he's 24, he has all of the time in the world to get married. Then again I felt stupid for being upset, jealous, mad because we had split up six years ago, he'd moved on that was expected. What if this was all a misunderstanding? Eden might have gotten it wrong, she was only six she could of heard it wrong, the chances of it were slim but it was a possibility.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked me.

I nodded my head a few times as if to reassure myself. “I'm fine. I might ring Rian just to yano double check, she might have gotten it wrong.”

“She seemed pretty certain but if it settles your mind ring him.”

I placed my now lukewarm coffee on the counter and pulled out my iPhone from my pocket. I scrolled through my contacts until I found Rian's name, clicking it and raising the phone too my ear. It rang three times before he answered with a gruff 'hello'. I got straight to the point, asking him if it was true about Alex getting married to Chelsea and he told me that I should talk to Alex about it but we all knew that wasn't going to happen so he eventually told me the truth, Chelsea and Alex had got engaged last week and were planning to get married in the summer of next year. Rian said that he felt like they were rushing things since they had only been back together for four months and they were both young but apparently they were both adamant that this is what they wanted. As he kept telling me more about it, I realised that I didn't want to know anymore, it hurt too much to know anymore. I made up an excuse to say goodbye and hanged up the phone, keeping hold of it in my hand. Kara was still standing there with a sympathetic look on her face.

“When I found out that Rian and Cassadee were getting married it hurt a lot. But then I realised I'm in a happy relationship with a great guy, I don't need to be jealous of them. Rian and Cassadee suit each other so much better than me and him ever did, I'm glad they have each other and because Cass is such a sweet girl, me and Rian can still be good friends, I'm friends with Cass! What I'm trying to say is even though it does hurt, you can get over Alex completely by moving on, finding the right guy who will always make you happy, Alex is in the past now you need to look towards your future.” Kara said comfortingly.

She was right. If she could do it why couldn't I? If in Vegas I saw Alex and Chelsea together, I'd need to just grit my teeth and deal with it. It had been six bloody years after all, it was time I moved on, I wanted to be able to see how he was doing without missing him or feeling anything for him. We were both in completely different situations now than we were in high school which is why sometimes I find it hard too forget about him and move on; it didn't work out in high school but now we're older, more mature it'd be easier to keep a relationship going now. But I guess I was never gonna know.

I gave Kara a quick hug then went back into my bedroom pulling out my macbook and loading up twitter. I typed in Alex's username too see his most recent tweets I hadn't checked his twitter in months, I literally didn't know anything about him anymore. There was a few tweets in particular that stood out:

“@alexalltimelow: cant wait too party it out in Vegas for @jackalltimelow 's bday!!!!”

“@alexalltimelow: just want to tell all of u guys that me and Chelsea are engaged :)”

“@alexalltimelow: thanks for all the congratulations! Means a lot and no she's not pregnant ;)”

“@alexalltimelow: just found out some people I didnt want too see are coming to Vegas hmm not sure how I feel about this :/”

“@alexalltimelow:” fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck

He's last few tweets really stood out, I couldn't help but feel like his last two tweets were directed at me, who am I kidding they properly were. Looks like Vegas is going to be fun...